Just when I feel like I can't get any lower

[shorty20]

this amazing guy comes into my life. If ya'll have been keeping up with my posts, this past couple of months it seems like I can't find a guy that will actually treat me right. A guy that will be honest, caring, and sweet, and like me for me. Well, I mentioned in the post this guy that I've been friends with for a while and that I know likes me, but I wasn't sure I wanted to put myself out there again for him. God, this past week he's been amazing. We decided to date for a while and see where thigns went, and he's been the biggest gentleman. Opening doors, taking me out... we had a party at my place on saturday and he stayed and took care of me, and then cleaned my apartment for me the next morning! In a way I'm kind of scared it's all just going to slip through my fingers again, because I've seen this side of him before, but just a glimpse before things got int he way and we called it quits. This time, I'm not letting anything hold me back. This guy is amazing and I don't want to lose him again. It just feels so right, ya know? Just thought I'd give you guys an update on that.

 

Onto another topic, my best friend I've been having problems with. Well, I've stated before that she wasn't allowed at my apartment anymore because of how she dosen't get along with my roommate. Well, she knew we were having a party on saturday and called and left a voicemail at about 11:00 and just said "i'm coming over"... i didn't answer. I was already pretty trashed and just decided if she actually had the nerve to show up uninvited I just wouldn't answer the door. Well, she came.... with four of her friends. Someone opened the door with their foot behind it to block it, but the just barged in. They were all pretty drunk, and my best friend has this friend that has a really loud mouth, especialy when she's got alcohol in her system. She kept saying that my friends were giving her dirty looks and she was about to "fight someone" and I could tell my roommate was getting pissed, naturally. I took my best friend aside and told her she needed to leave, because her friends were out of control. I obviously didn't do this soon enough, because my roommate had gotten so pissed she went into her bathroom and punched the wall, and turns out fractured her hand. I mentioned to my best friend yesturday when she called that what she did was wrong, and all she said was "it wasn't my idea... ___ wanted to come see you" (some guy who I'm not close with at all... he's her friend) so she was just making up excuses and trying to pass the blame onto someone else. I really don't know what to do from here. She says she dosen't want to even bother being friends if she's not going to be allowed at my apartment, but how can I allow her there when everytime she comes, stuff like this happens? I can't jeapordize my relationship with my roommate, whom I have to live with for a year, for my best friend's childish games... again, sorry this was so long but if ya'll have any suggestions for me I'd love to hear them, cuz I'm about run out of ideas.

[Cuppedia]

It's not an easy situation but it might help if you don't fall for the "choose my roommate or my friend" trap.

Your best friend is not being very considerate, maybe she feels jealous that you will be paying more attention (in any sense) to your roommate, so if you talked to her, told her that she's your best friend and that nothing will change that it might alleviate tension.

Let her know this is like a formal contract, you owe respect to the person you share the place with, you ask for her understanding but if she still acts carelessly then you might have to distance yourself a bit from either.

Maybe when your roommate makes a party you try to not be around, or talk less to your best friend until she starts behaving a bit.

Just an idea.

[shorty20]

I've been through all that. Continually reminded her she's my best friend and no one would replace her. Repeatedly tried to organize group things so she could spend more time with my roommate and try to get them to like each other (they loved each other at first, then my best friend decided she didn't like her anymore after we started to move in together) I realize my best friend might feel left out, but thats a part of growing up. Life is not ALL about friends and having a fun time and being a kid. It's about responsibilities and growing up too! She dosent seem to realize that and takes everything personally. I'm just really at the end of my ropes. I told her she's not allowed at my place anymore, especially after what happened this past weekend. She said maybe it's best we're not friends at all then. It hurts, but it's time to let go because she's not making any effort and actually is only causing more stress to my life right now.

[Cuppedia]

I understand.

I would just try to fix things once more, remind her you did try to keep the friendship and offer to be there if she changes her mind about continuing to be friends but in a more mature level.

I think it's important she doesn't "go" with that attitude of "we're no longer friends". It might not work anymore but for the good times you have spent together it would be nice if you didn't end the friendship but just agreed to follow different paths.