what WOULD you like to talk about with your date

[sarsapolis6]

that would surely pique her interest in you or your conversations? Any particular topics beyond school, classes, transfer requirements and "next semester"?

 

I'm currently locked in orbit around the Planet "One Topic".

[ShySoul]

There isn't any one topic that will pique interest. Best think is to think about the person you are talking to and their interests, what they would like. Find topics and interests that you have in common, and talk about them. It could be anything, as long as you both have things to say and are enthusastic about the conversation.

[sarsapolis6]

How do you prevent yourself from talking vague and having a boring conversation with a girl while on the phone with her?

 

I just called a girl on the phone and my conversation was a basic "how are you doing, what's going on lately" conversation and I found out that she still had school, and basically had to take care of a late assignment. She didn't sound enthusiastic about anything she said and I noticed that I was the one who asked questions about what was going on with her, instead of the usual times when I call her and she involuntarily gives me the whole scoop on what happened to her in the past few weeks, months, e.t.c. I like it when girls do that, but that's rare.

So then it's left up to me to keep the conversation alive until she says "I have to go now, but it was nice talking to you". As for being vague on my part, I noticed that she was in a car about to be driven to someplace and I didn't ask where she was going because I didn't want to pry too much. Her attitude wasn't happy or sad..it was simply the way someone would act if he or she is talking to someone they had just met..and in reality we've known each other for 5 years. Also, I was vague because I asked her about her plans for New Years ("going to any parties?") but I didn't suggest that we could go out to dance or do something together.

 

So now I'm going to wait until after Christmas to talk to her again, plan, and say to her what I REALLY WANT TO SAY. I hope it works out because I'd hate to lose a friend.

[ShySoul]

Was she having a bad day? Really busy? Wasn't feeling well? Perhaps that explains her lack if enthusiasm. If normally she is energetic, then count this as a bad day.

 

If you want to tell her what you really want to say, you have to decide what it is that you really want to say. Are you planning on asking her out for New Years? Then ask. Just say what it is you mean, you don't need to plan exactly how to say it, you just need to say it once you get there.

 

I have trouble on the phone too. But I try to see it as just another means of communication. If you have something you want to say, then say it. Don't worry, don't think, just speak it. Talk like you would if you were in person. Sound (and be) into the conversation, and it won't be boring.

[kaoticbaby]

well when i started talking to my boyfriend, i would pick a topic, or "reason" that i was calling him beforehand, so there would be my "central" topic. for example...."oh i noticed the video game you want is coming out soon, i saw the commercial and it reminded me of you..." or "i had fun at the mall with you, wasn't it funny when [whatever] happened..." (then we start talking about silly things that happened while we were together. )usually even now, almost a year later, when i talk to my boyfriend after we hung out we talk about funny/cool/exciting things that happened when we saw eachother. you could always turn on the tv while your on the phone with her, and say something like "oh haha family guy is on.. did you ever see the episode when..." etc. my boyfriend and i are a particularly weird couple, because we would spend hours doing stupid impressions of people and making fun of silly things. heh. a conversation isn't anything to worry about, if you guys connect, you should find plenty to talk about. good luckk

[habitual_loser]

Religion. Politics. Fate of humanity. Harry Potter. Black+White versus color. Talking about things that aren't either of you tends to be a safe route.

 

You'd be surprised, but pick a topic, blurt something out, possibly ending in "damnit" and go with it. I've had a 2 hour discussion about the merits of whole wheat bread versus just regular wheat bread before.

 

Just make sure it's not you preaching and don't try to lock into a topic if she tries to change it. Diction and syntax, rhythm and subtext can really turn someone off, so just go with the flow.

[ShySoul]

I've had a 2 hour discussion about the merits of whole wheat bread versus just regular wheat bread before

 

Which one won out?

[Hannibal]

I'm going to let you in on a little secret. EVERYONE loves to talk about themselves. Not just some people but everyone. The best thing to do on a date is to ask them a lot of questions about themselves, nothing creepy, just something to get them talking about themselves. Honestly you'll be surprised at where the convo will lead to. In doing so you also learn about them, show them that you're interested in their life and most importantly find out very quickly what you have in common!

[ShySoul]

Hannibal,

 

Not everyone likes to talk about themselves. Shy people often dread it and hate drawing attention to themselves. I know that when the conversation is about me, I feel awkward and want to change the subject.

 

If you are dealing with a person like that, don't ask lots of questions about them. Find a subject they are comfortable with and go on that. Gradually the person will loosen up and then be more receptive to personal questions.