You probably heard it many times. But what is the best way to stop thinking of some

[Jonboy582]

Ok you probably heard this many many times. But what is the best way to stop thinking about someone you fancy (bar going out with them lol). As I have this prediciment im stuck in you see.

 

I fancy this girl, you may all say whats so hard in that?, well I will say what. She is one of my close friends and I dont want to do anything that will endager our friendship. Will these feelings for her naturaly subside, or will they only go if I do something about them.

 

In conjunction with the fact I dont want to spoil the friendship, we wouldnt get together anyway as she does not feel for me in that way. And even if she did we wouldnt go well as boyfriend and girlfriend, for the following reasons;-

 

1. She likes someone else and think they will always be there in her heart.

2. My idea of a good relationsip is love and companionship above everything, hers is a b/f who can buy her things. I mean her dream in life is to be a rich mans wife she dont care about love and that. (also wasn't implying that I want to marry her and stuff lol just using it as an example).

3. We live bout 35miles to 40 miles apart so seeing eachother would be hard and only on a daily basis at school (and the odd weekend).

 

So as you can see I always fall for the wrong girls. What do I do? How do I forget her? And please dont suggest telling her because that would only makethinks awkward.

[patience]

spend more time with other friends, other young women, give yourself a chance to like someone more compatible

[Dating Coach]

No, you won't just naturally get over things. You are going to be crushing on her just the same, and then some. What should you do? Well for one, question why you like someone so superficial as to think they need a man with money. Second, would be to realize that you can ask someone out romantically and not put much risk on the friendship. Want to know how? Just ask.

[Jonboy582]

Actualy a very good idea, but I really enjoy my time with ehr as a friend. But gues its a sacrifice I have to make until my feelings subside.

[Jonboy582]

Ok diggity Dog how do you do that lol? And well I like her as she is such a good friend, and we have fun together and a good laugh on our tuesday shopping trips , oh and she is very attarctive lol.

[PocoDiablo]

Here's my opinion:

 

Realize that every single minute you spend with her (1) other women think you are taken (2) other women think you are stupid to be dating a materialistic woman or maybe (3) other women think you're gay (4) she thinks of you as a free ride (5) some other equally hot woman is REALLY interested in you but you don't even notice!

 

So here you are, blind as a bat, and your radar is broken. You could be out with a hot woman who DOES like you but you're wasting your time with a woman who does not have high quality traits you deserve?

 

You're doing yourself a BIG dis-service.

 

If she's such a good friend, she'd help you meet other equally hot women by telling them what a bad boy you are, how she wants you so bad but you won't have her, and that any woman would be crazy not to hang with you.

 

If she tells other women you're a nice guy, sweetheart, or anything like that then she's evil. Trust me.

[Jonboy582]

Haha that post made me laugh lol, loved it. But yer at the moment I dont even want a girlfriend. Broke up with my ex bout 2 months aggo and am not ready. And yer alot of people think im Bi or gay lol. I just find it funny, cos I dress nicely, enjoy shopping and using alot of facial products lol. And have afew girls that like me in that way but unfortunately I dont like them. Such a big circle of failed fancies

[PocoDiablo]

Haha that post made me laugh lol, loved it. But yer at the moment I dont even want a girlfriend. Broke up with my ex bout 2 months aggo and am not ready. And yer alot of people think im Bi or gay lol. I just find it funny, cos I dress nicely, enjoy shopping and using alot of facial products lol. And have afew girls that like me in that way but unfortunately I dont like them. Such a big circle of failed fancies

Hm.

 

Well.

 

Maybe get a dog? That'll keep you busy!

[cruisin]

Anon -- I don't really see any problem. So what if you fancy this girl. Just keep it at that. Enjoy the thoughts you have. They are free and there you can go wild. You realize a relationship is not plausible or possible, but why try to lessen what you DO have? You said she is is a close friend. If that's the case, then learn to appreciate that more and reap its benefits. As you get older I think you'll see, or I hope you do, that there will be more and more relationships that just cannot be. I am a 46-year-old woman and have a lot of very young male friends...very young meaning anywhere from 20 and up. It would be silly of me to think of having a love relationship with everyone I fancy. But, if I don't, what do I have? That "what" is what you have to define. Make the most of it. There is much to be had from all sorts of people and more to be learned from those people who are different from us. Superficiality can be fun. Materialism can be fun. Hanging out with people like that can be fun as well. It doesn't mean you have to become that way yourself. If often actually helps to confirm what you are about. Be different. Step away from the stereotypical relationships that we see so much of out there. Be freer. Actually, you sound like you are already something of a free spirit, which is great. You don't seem overly worried about others thinking you gay or bi. Good for you. Life has too much to offer to restrict it to the mainstream boring repetoire. Go for different and not just in appearance!

[Dating Coach]

Ok diggity Dog how do you do that lol? And well I like her as she is such a good friend, and we have fun together and a good laugh on our tuesday shopping trips , oh and she is very attarctive lol.

 

A lot of guys crushing on their friend ruins the relationship because they go about it all wrong. They put way too much pressure on the situation and tend to spill their guts.

 

A lot of times guys will be so in over their head for a woman and finally can't take it anymore and tell them how much they like the girl and how great she is. This comes accross as desperate and weak, plus, if she is not interested (and most likely won't be) then this puts a huge strain the the friendship because she knows just how bad you have it for her.

 

If you want to keep it casual then make it casual. It doesn't put much strain on the friendship if you say:

 

"Hey Becky, what are you doing Thursday? I going to take you out on a date to _______. We're both single, we have a lot of fun hanging out, so I figured we could give it a shot and see what happens. What are you doing for Thursday?"

 

 

Or something similar to that. This way, you aren't making such a big deal about it. The girl knows you and she knows whether or not she would ever date you already. If you put it out there like this then you will find out what her answer is and it shouldn't put much strain on the friendship, at least not near as much as you going;

 

"Becky, you are so wonderful and I want you to be my girlfriend! You deserve someone who knows just how great you are and I will treat you better than anyone!"

 

If she says no or offers any number of other excuses that all mean no, then shrug it off to her and be like, "Yeah, you're probably right. We're better off as just friends." And leave it at that.

[Jonboy582]

hat "what" is what you have to define. Make the most of it. There is much to be had from all sorts of people and more to be learned from those people who are different from us. Superficiality can be fun. Materialism can be fun. Hanging out with people like that can be fun as well. It doesn't mean you have to become that way yourself. If often actually helps to confirm what you are about. Be different

Lost you abit there lol, and kinda off point haha, but under stood in the end. And as you said why should I let it come in the way of the friendship.

 

Actually, you sound like you are already something of a free spirit, which is great

Indeed I am, and teachers at school picking up on it. Was in geography today and teacher said she hated my laid back attitude to life, and my spaced out look all the time (whatever that means).

 

Imagine her in some pretty unattractive poses or situations. It works if you really try it.

There isnt any shees HOT lol. Only things I can think of are utterly sick and bizarre, and as these make me sick I don't want to think about them lol

 

"Becky, you are so wonderful and I want you to be my girlfriend! You deserve someone who knows just how great you are and I will treat you better than anyone!"

I wouldnt do that lol. Sorry but would just make me look a looser so to say. Seen it done soo many times before and it failed horribly lol. And yer I read your post, and im fortunatley one of the lucky ones who know when someone has said no.

 

Same applies for girls, this girl asked my friend to the cinema and he text her saying

"NO, I am busy all week ! ! ! ! ! ! !"

And she took the explanation marks as he was interested lol, but really hhe dont like her as a person let alone a girlfriend material.

 

But yes although your advice Diggity Dog is actualy "AMAZING" I wont take it this time and will follow cruisin. But will certainly be following your plan if I meet someone else. BTW I am almost at the gentleman stage already, so I not got much work to do thankfully, except I get treated like a doormat hahaha.

[Lily04]

Start liking someone else and remind yourself of why things would never work out with the guy in question/why he's not perfect. I was obsessed with a guy for about 5 months, the attraction was pretty bad, and then I found out how immature he really was (despite being good-looking, smart) and that he was not very ambitious... he was pursuing a Ph.D in English literature at a top school, so he's obviously intelligent, but didn't really push himself as hard as he could. He didn't really like studying and just wanted to edit an emo music magazine with his degree in the end. I... didn't really respect that I guess. He was just aimlessly going about picking up degrees, I suppose because he was rich and could afford to spend a few years reading Chaucer or whatever, to avoid the real world...

 

The trick is to emphasize the "bad points" about him, or reasons why a relationship wouldn't work (I'm a very goal-directed person myself, and am planning to attend law school, so I'm not sure we'd be so compatible.)

 

Then find someone else... be open-minded to different people and just go on dates for the hell of it. Soon enough you'll forget him! Seriously.

[Jonboy582]

Hehe just thought I would say im not gay and were talking about me liking a female here hehe. But I get what u mean and blimey that bloke souds just like me lol. Im all of what he was and basicalytoo lazy to do anything, I am too lazy to even go to university, although everyone says its wasited potential. I dont feel you have to go to university to achieve maximum potential.

 

 

 

Im exactely that I can't just suddenly change who I have feelings for, if I could I would not be posting here. I think best thing to do, is think about her bad points, and avoid her slightly for abit.