I need to know how to get over this

[beckmentf]

Ok, my bf broke up with me a month ago. He claims that he thinks the relationship is going nowhere and that he is not in love with me. Anyway over the last few weeks i have seen him almost once a week (due to financial matters and such that need to be taken care of) Teh last time i saw him we fooled around a bit but i told myself this will not happen again. I am pissed off in the first place that i let it happen, but I can't change anything now.... Well I have met this guy who is really into me but i cannot get over my ex. I feel guilty everytime this guy calls me like i am cheating or something. My Ex makes comments to me that make me think that he is still interested in dating me. but i think he wants his freedom for awhile to decide what he wants. I am not going to wait around for someone who claims not to love me after 2 1/2 years. He is emotionally abusive and people i know tell me he was. Of course i can not see this because i was in love with him.

 

Anyway, how do you get over the "I feel guilty going out on a date" or "I miss him so much i want him back" This is all very new to me because i have never been dumped before...

 

I hope this makes sense... my thoughts are all over the place these days and i am not sure what i am thinking anymore

 

Any advise would help

[bzborow1]

You just need to be decisive with everyone in the situation. However that requires that you yourself know what you want to get from all this. As for you ex-boyfriend, I would suggest you no longer give him anything other then a friend. Right now I would suggest you get away completely as that's the only way you'll get him out of your mind. You boyfriend is not confused, he said he does not see a future with you, so you've got to find a way to move on.

 

As for the new guy you've obviously got two options, to stay with him or not to. If you are not over your ex you are not doing the new guy any favors. If you are not over your ex I would suggest you just be honest with the guy...

 

"I have to be honest with you. I'm not over my ex boyfriend and I don't think I'm ready to date anyone until I am...you're a great guy, it's not you...etc...etc"

 

Guys respect honesty, and women usually won't come straight out and just tell you. Dating right after a long-term break up is quite a different experience. I've had to do this and from my experience, until you can look at the new guy without comparing him to your ex or talking about your ex I would suggest that you need more time alone to collect yourself.

 

Good Luck!!!

 

That's my two cents.

[foolish]

I am going through the exact same thing. If I were you I would be single for a while and don't lead this new guy on. You have strong feelings for your ex still and you can't move on to someone else(Rebound) right now because of this. Try and stay away from your ex. I keep telling myself I will do it to but it's hard. We just need to be strong and things will work out for the best. I would ask myself this question if I were you. If he caused you emotional pain then you honestly think you will be happy with him again? My ex was the same way towards me and I still can't take my own advice.

[SAS]

Stay close to friend or family members who you can trust and who doesn't take sides. Most importantly dating is alright but if you feel strong in that way then it maybe best not to date but gather your thoughts and take the time in doing so or let that other person know how you feel but don't stay on the conversation to long because you will scare him off, and I tell you this because I am a male and I don't mind listening to what happen but if it stays in the conversation to long, then I would know you are not ready.

 

When you speak to anyone, only take what is needed but that comes from within your heart and mind when doing so and it takes practice.

1 month is early and it will take time and as for your ex who claims that he may still love you. Believe it or not time will play a major roll in your part but in his as well. No one can be too sure what the outcome could be but at times being away from each other may help to understand each other, or it should but only with an open mind to new and understanding of ideas and accepting.

 

This will not be a short process but it will help you understand clearly what happen and why and what you can do next time. Keep yourself busy but do not ignore your feeling but understand it and try not to stay to long thinking about it especially when it makes you feel down.

 

I wish you the very best and it will not be easy but you will learn something beautiful from it as long as you keep your mind open without resentment but an open mind and heart.

 

Good luck. . . . .