My day to day efforts to regain my sense of self

[keefy1972]

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[Lil Punkin]

Hi Keefy and all. I'm new here and have been reading up on all the posts. I am going No Contact with someone too. It is indeed hard to remain in contact with someone you like so much. It sounds to me like this girl is testing you. Don't be weak.

 

I would like to post on your thread if thats ok with you. Maybe as a support thing. Would you be ok with that?

 

Thanks,

Punkin

[keefy1972]

That would be great! Support is what this site is all about and, I think I speak for all of us when I say "Welcome aboard"!!!

[Lil Punkin]

Thanks Keefy!!!

 

I think I'll do the same..No Calls, texts, emails, smoke signals, cards, morse code...nada for the holidays. This time of year is SO hard for all of us. We will make it through...day by day.

 

Today is day one of NC for me. I hope to make it by New Years.

Lets do this together.

 

Punkin

[keefy1972]

Hope to make it? We WILL make it.

[Lil Punkin]

Well, Keefy...I for one will DEFINETLY post here everyday...I think it will help me immensley. I appreciate you letting me post here...I need the support and I know you do to.

 

Just remember..Strict No Contact...and talk to as MANY women as possible. You can't go wrong that way. I think those are the wise words of a poster I've seen.....

[keefy1972]

Just remember..Strict No Contact...and talk to as MANY women as possible. You can't go wrong that way. I think those are the wise words of a poster I've seen.....

 

Hahaha, I'm certain I've read those words on here a time or two!! Good advice though not as easy to follow through with.

[lovecrazy]

Hey Keefy! I am sorry that your ex is evil!

 

And I would like to help you through this as well!

 

I have been through something similar, My ex Steven we dated for a short time, But I was head over heels, and he broke my heart. And I would call him, and text and see him at the pool hall! I was so stupid, finally I just was like you treated me badly, strung me along, and you were sleeping with your ex! Why should I be nice to you! FU and I am oh so happy!!!!!!!!!

[keefy1972]

Thanks Win. I don't know that I would say she is "evil". That's a pretty harsh statement. Her general goodness, on the whole, is what makes getting over her and moving on so hard. I take most of the blame for being in my current state. I'm a grown man that is responsible for his own happiness and I've chosen to allow myself become somewhat "obsessive" about her. Even her she and I were still together it would not be healthy to allow myself to think of her or allow her to dominate my life the way I've allowed it to. She isn't evil for not wanting to be with me, nor is she evil because of how I feel. Things just are the way they are.

[keefy1972]

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[Lil Punkin]

I like the email Keefy....just don't send it. Stay in NC for now. Maybe when you're feeling stronger you can send it.

 

Today is day 2 for NC for me. I have been very busy, so thats a good thing.

I've made a list of goals I'd like to complete during this month...so I will focus on those things. What sort of things are you doing during this time for yourself?

[keefy1972]

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[Lil Punkin]

LOL Keefy. Me too...I'm trying to earn ULTRA STALKER status..you know, tire slashing, following them, using my binoculars etc....I wanna be like that guy from Something About Mary..LMAO.

 

Just Kiddin!! I like the car washing idea, I might have to use that one

[keefy1972]

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[Lil Punkin]

Hey Keefy. Be strong.

 

It's day 4 for me...I'm looking at this as a personal goal. Shooting to to do NC for a good solid month.Thats what I've been told to do, and I have never managed a FULL month with no contact whatsoever...so lets all be strong. We can all do this together.

[keefy1972]

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[Lil Punkin]

Well done Keefy!!!!

 

Tony Robbins huh?? Wow.... God I'm good...

 

As for your ex....she's "fishing'. Don't fall for it!!!!!!!!!

You have 25 days till ONE month..you can do it!!!!

Remember:

 

No CALLS!!!!!

NO EMAILS!!!

NO TEXTS!!!

NO SMOKE SIGNALS!!!!

NO MORSE CODE!!!!!

 

Get the idea?

[keefy1972]

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[comets_21]

Hey, I've been reading your post

 

I just wanted to say I too have decided to go NC once again... taking time to improve myself... Try to gain my self respect back. Feel free to read my last post about my situation. If you need any support or want to IM me I will be there. I am too trying to go to NC throughout the holidays... Even a better effort then before. I will keep up to date with our progress. Way to stay strong when you seen your ex. I'm using your posts as motivation for me!

 

-comets

[keefy1972]

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[vhshowdown]

ok, let me ask this of you all, and ask this of yourselves, "what is it that you TRULY want from your ex??" This is a very important question that sometimes gets over looked. If you answer this question, truthfully, this is step 1...........

[octopus]

Dear everyone,

 

My bf broke up with me this sunday. We'd been living together for 5 months.

His reason was that he is 7 years older than me, and he has a 'schedule' (he wants to get married before its too late) and that he doesnt love me the way he did at the beginning of our relationship, or like he loved other women before. He cant get married with that component missing. This is devastating to me because we DID have a good and a special relationship, there is a long list of things we do together and we enjoy our every day. It confuses me as hell because at the beginning I was the one who didn't love him, I thought our first kiss was disgusting, but now I feel like I can't afford to lose him because he wants to keep looking for a bride. We've only been together 6 months and while everything was great for the past 5, we had a monotonous 1 month, which was probably caused by me living with him, trying to adapt to his lifestyle and maybe forgetting (or giving up) things about my life style. But we've started out great and there's no reason why that is lost forever.

 

Looks to me like he's lost that loving feeling, and I'm afraid he'll go back to an ex soon, and I'm soo confused. Just thinking about him with an ex drives me nuts. I just want more time, and I'm sure we'll be normal again. But he's turning 32 this week, and I think he feels the pressure of his 'schedule'.

 

When we talked sunday night, I cried the whole time, begging him to give us more time, since our relationship is young, and it was great at the beginning and it could still be great, i think I made a complete fool of myself with crying like that. I work in a different city, so I left Monday morning and won't see him until Friday evening. I know I should move out ASAP. I will do that. And since I have an international trip coming up, we wont see each other for 3 weeks. But I want to him to give US another chance. How can that happen??

 

SOmeone please tell me that there is a chance (even 10%) that he might miss me in those 3 weeks.. Please... I don't think this his fair, that he had a change of heart so quickly and that we're ending something beautiful so soon because of his schedule.

 

I have been in NC since Monday, except for the few times he IMd me about the mail I'd received that day, and he doesn't know that I wont be coming home for 3 weeks, and moving out asap after I get back. Someone please tell me what to do, I love him, I want to be with him...

 

Help... I'm devastated..

[vhshowdown]

Sorry to hear your pain octopus.. We all have been there, which I know it doesnt make it any easier to hear that.

 

I think you all may have moved too fast to begin with. How much do we REALLY know about someone in 5 or 6 months?? I mean the "honeymoon" phase is in the beginning, and everthing is all GREAT, but once that wears off, this is the time that will make or break a relationship, right!?!?!?

 

Give him some time, but also give yourself some time to think things through, to see what direction you want to head in....... This way too, if you all do see one another in 3 weeks, you will be stronger and more sure of yourself!!

Good luck to you, keep posting which helps to get it out also.

[comets_21]

Hey guys,

Today I got a Christmas card from my ex. Before I share it I want to tell you about her. She's very attractive, comes from a very wealthy family and basically gets whatever she wants. This is one reason I believe NC worked before. I'm sure you know the basis of my situation. AThe card said;

 

hey! just wanted to write to make sure that you're in the chirstmas spirit. I definatly am and cannot wait for this semister of death to finally be over. I hope your studying is going well, but I know that you'll do great on your exams! Well, I hope we'll be able to go see that game!! (her dad has NBA box tickets for her.. she wants to bring me) It would be such a good time! xoxoxo

 

I plan on staying in NC and if she happens to txt msg me or call me I will just say Thanks for the card.. it was cute. (she made nice decorations with it) That is all I am going to say. I am not going to ask about her new man or tell her how much she hurt me. Do you have any suggestions?

[keefy1972]

Sounds good comets. Just don't go over every word of her card, twisting and turning her words into something you want to believe. Take them at face value.