How do i cope with her having more experience than i do

[ConfusedBoy]

So yesterday i asked my friend from 2 years if she felt something for me,She said that she know we both feels something for each other.Now the problem is not her or me.Now She told me that she has had 3 boyfriends in the past 3 years and that she has kissed and done some exuall activities with her sex boyfriend that she lasted for 1 year.Now i got my first french kiss a couple of months ago, and my first booty grabbing to.Now this girlfriend has way more experience than me.All her b/f's have wrote her poems and did all the stuff that i thaught i would have done for the first time and would of thaught that would be like the first time that she has ever felt that way for anyone.She also had 15,16,and 17 year old boyfriends.Now i guess my questions are the following:

 

1.How do i cope knowing that she had more experience of intimacy than i have.

 

2.She said that this was the last time she will ever give her self to anyone and that she has been hurt before and that she doesnt want to break up with anyone any more cause she doesnt want to feel that wasy again.So does that make me more like special than the other ones?

 

3.All my tricks of impression wqere taken away by the current b/f's,My specialty was poetry, What should i try thats new?

 

I cant think right now im sorry, im just so confused about the transition of my ex g/f being so easy and symple from my current g/f being so coplex.Has there ever been a conlfict like this on enotalone.com!!

[LiquidCherry]

I have the impression from reading your post that you are young but no matter, just be sure that you are ready to have sex before you do so.

 

1- I've dated several men that have had less experience than I. Two of these had none and it never bothered me in the least. In fact, I was honored. Knowing you are or are going to be someone's first is a pretty special bit of knowledge. If she doesn't treasure that I'd hold out for someone that would. Don't let he level of experience make you feel inadequete because in truth the first time you have sexual relations with anyone new it's a learning experience. Everybody (or every body) is different so just have fun.

 

2-You can't determine how special you are to someone by your number. (You know, are you the 3rd or the 30th..) How special you are to someone can only be determined by how they feel about you and this could be either more or less than the people they knew before you. But

honestly, if you are less important they probably wouldn't really want an actual relationship with you anyway.

 

3-If poetry is your specialty write her a poem! It won't matter to her that you are not the first person to write her one, what will matter to her is that it came from your heart.

[LostInMyThoughts]

It doesn't seem like your girlfriend is complex. Certainly having more experience in life does not make you more or less complex.

 

What's bothering you about her being more experienced? Is it that she's had more boyfriends, or are you more afraid of how you'll compare to them?

 

As you get older, experience isn't a bad thing. Hopefully she'll know about what she likes, and when you two get comfortable with each other she'll share that with you. Honestly that will make your "job" much easier.

 

Her not wanting to give herself, is just how she is coping with the hurt she received from her past relationships. It has little to do with you, unfortunately. She wants to make sure you're not going to hurt her, and its a natural thing. When she is more comfortable with you, and when you've earned her trust, she'll open herself more.

 

Just because her previous boyfriends wrote her poetry, doesn't mean you can't either. Also, her previous boyfriends turned out to be jerks. Don't make that same mistake. Soon enough your own creativity will help you think of things to "impress" her. Just give it time.

 

Don't look as these things as being "tricks" either. They are part of who you are. Just be yourself. It'll be more than enough.

[ratherbesailing]

Confused -

 

I was in your shoes and remember those feelings. It was mostly jealousy, I just hated picturing her with her ex's when I had no experience. I don't have a magical answer, just try not to focus on those feelings. Each time they creep in just think of something you really like about her, she's all yours and these are only thoughts in your head.

 

If poetry is your thing then stick with it. Burn her a CD of songs that remind you of her. Give her a photo album with some pictures of the two of you with space for pictures you can add in the future. Most important just be yourself.

[Tigris]

It's always awkward when you start a new relationship because neither partner knows what the other one wants.

 

I remember how embarrassed I was leading my boyfriend (second husband) upstairs. He was ex army and I knew what sort of reputation soldiers had. On the way upstairs I said, 'I don't know how experienced you think I am but I've only ever slept with my first husband.' I was 28 years old! He surprised me by saying he'd only had one partner too. We got undressed in the dark to save embarrassment!

 

Touching one person in a certain place doesn't necessarily mean that you are going to get the same response from your next partner. It's a learning experience. You need plenty of time and patience.

 

Just take your time and show them that you want to please them as much as they are pleasing you.

 

Good luck and take care.