So angry!!

[lost_status]

WHY?

WHY DO I FALL IN THE SamE TRAP OVER AND OVER AGAIN?

 

Men who act and think better than women need a friken reality check!! ITs a modern society and relationships should be 50/50!!! You get what you put in buddy!!!

 

My ex just screwed me over again!! I thought he changed but I guess he didnt!! He still thinks women are beneath him and that I have to suck up to his **S just to get respect of him!!! NOOO WAY!

 

Sorry everyone, its just im really upset and angry!! I really hate him so much!! It discouges me from establishing any further relationships!!

 

I know not all men are like this (or so they say) but so far thats the only sort of guys Ive ended up!!

[hockeyboy]

stop talking to him.

[SolSystem]

Make sure you don't fall into the trap of over-generalizing. You could be walking around being mad at all men, and forget the ones who are treating you in the right way, even if they are just friends.

[eimono]

You know, most people do this until they start to realize that the problem isn't all the other bad people in the world, it's you.

 

Before you get all upset with what I just said, think about it for a bit.

 

You attract and are attracted to people who are like you. Most often what happens is you are lacking something and looking to someone else to complete it.

 

For example, myself, I have had problems with self esteem. I thought the best I could do is take people who had problems and fix them. WRONG answer and each time I wound up with what I went after. A loser who just brought me down.

 

Other friends I have do something else... They have problems with anger so they find some submissive guy who takes it. Then they get mad that he doesn't make any choices for himself. Or that he won't take a stand on things. The problem isn't the other person, it's that they went after someone because of their problems.

 

To break the pattern we have to fix ourselves FIRST. Then when you are happy and a safe person you will attract and be attracted to good people.

 

Start with your support network and make good friends. Go from there. Good luck.

[Hope75]

Sometimes you have to suffer through a few bad relationships before you reach a good one. That will only make you appreciate it more. Take what you can from these poor relationships and learn from it.

 

Pay attention to your body and brain's warning signals.

 

Remember that the ex was an ex for a reason, what was it?

 

Sometimes we can work things out, and other times it's best just to remain exes.

 

I'm sorry that you are upset and angry, but don't let one bad experience ruin everything for you.

 

Is this the boy that assaulted you?

[RayKay]

WHY?

WHY DO I FALL IN THE SamE TRAP OVER AND OVER AGAIN?

 

Men who act and think better than women need a friken reality check!! ITs a modern society and relationships should be 50/50!!! You get what you put in buddy!!!

 

My ex just screwed me over again!! I thought he changed but I guess he didnt!! He still thinks women are beneath him and that I have to suck up to his **S just to get respect of him!!! NOOO WAY!

 

Sorry everyone, its just im really upset and angry!! I really hate him so much!! It discouges me from establishing any further relationships!!

 

I know not all men are like this (or so they say) but so far thats the only sort of guys Ive ended up!!

 

If these are the only guys you end up with, I think you need to start looking at YOUR role too in why you get into these situations. If you have low self esteem, you are more likely to end up in these negative situations, or at least to stay in them. Case in point, going back to the ex whom treated you so badly so many times. It may be because you hope to change them, or it may be as you feel you don't deserve more, something you need to figure out. Also, you may not have the self knowledge and experience to help you see things when they show themselves - like red flags.

 

Honestly, not all men are like this. I may have been "fortunate" to not end up with many people whom hurt me this way, but I would say it's just as much my own confidence and self worth, as well as a knowledge of what I want and need and won't settle for, that attribute to that positive experience. Sure I have encountered jerks, but I have been pretty sure to get them out of my life pretty fast, rather then deal with "changing them" or settling for them.

[SilverManic]

The best thing you can do is get rid of him. If he can't show respect for you then he's not worth your time or effot. It may not be what you want to do but it's for the best and you don't need men like that in your life. There are plenty of other men who are really lovely people and perfectly single.

~S.

[smallworld]

WHY? WHY DO I FALL IN THE SamE TRAP OVER AND OVER AGAIN?

... Because you have a good heart and you really wanted to believe that he changed for the better this time. Unfortunately he hasn't done anything to merit the "second chance." For furture reference: People's personalities, proclivities, and habits don't change much unless they have a life-altering ephiphany or experience that makes them really want to change. Like I mentioned to you in an earlier post, if someone has hurt or abused you before, you need to look for signs that they sincerely feel remorse for what they've done and are actively making efforts to improve themselves (therapy etc.) and rectify the situation ( make amends with you.) If you don't see any effort on their part, then quite simply they haven't changed.

 

I know you're hurting now, but think of it this way: You're getting better at seeing the "signs" that a guy isn't for you. Thank goodness this time your Ex showed his true colors fairly quickly. Who knows how much additional heartache you just saved yourself from?

 

As for most guys beings this way, the best defense is a good offense. We have little control over what type of guys we attract, but we always have a choice about what what kind of behavior we will accept from others. If you find yourself attracting "users" then take things slowly and give yourself all the time you need to "qualify" your boyfriends and get to know them better to the point where you can trust them completely with your body and your heart.

 

If anything makes you feel uncomfortable or the least bit disrespected, take a time out and evaluate: Is this someone you really want to be with? If this guy was dating your best friend or sibling instead of you, would you like, respect, and approve of him? Is this a minor misunderstanding? A "sign" of a deeper problem? Or simply a need for more heart to heart communication?

 

Regardless, trust your instincts! If you look back on all the relationships you've had with "users", I believe you'll see "signs" from the very beginning that things weren't quite right. Rather than beat yourself up now for ignoring or not paying attention to to those signs, embrace and learn from them. This is the hard won education that will help you discern between guys that are good for you and guys that have no business being in your life.