should we ever let on to a man that we're jealous?

[teacup]

just wondering if a girl should ever show jealousy in front of a guy. i was out with this guy at a pub, he was drinking beer, i was paying attention to the live band. then all of a sudden i notice he is talking to the waitress, woman behind the bar. (before it was a male bartender that was filling up for him).

 

he seems to know the woman...he's telling her that his time is a lot better now that he doesnt have to work overtime and is back down to a regular 40 hour work week. i look at her....scan here with my eyes...eh, she's alright (im better). nothing special. not pretty or attractive (in my eyes), short and plump, older than me, white. i feel a twinge of jealousy...i feel a little bit jealous that im seeing him talk to a female and he seems to know her. (probably goes to the bar for lunch or to drink). then i lose interest.....turn my head quickly away, and go back to paying attention to something else. and i forgot all about it.

 

until tonight. i felt jealous! i havent felt jealousy in quite a long time. i wonder if it showed.......should females ever show jealousy to a man? why or why not?

[QTpie87]

I think that it really depends. See I say the first time your bf flirts around with other girls, that you should let it go, it's natural and we all do it from time to time. However, when you confront him about it and say that you don't like it and he continues to do it anyway even if you tell him right at that moment it's ok to be jealous cause he is acting like he doens' t care that it is bothering you. Guys do have other girls as friends though, they can't just hang out with only males that would be weird, lol. It all depends on if he is actually flirting or if he is just holding a convo with an old friend. good luck.

[RayKay]

Jealousy is normal, but I think if you were to show jealousy over him talking to a BARTENDER/WAITRESS and it clearly seems just like a friendly conversation, he would perceive you as clingy and a bit well, posessive.

 

The woman's JOB is to be friendly and courteous to customers, and engage customers in conversation. It's not like he went up to some random woman and started staring at her breasts and flirting with her while you were there. It's not like he is constantly phoning this woman, or meeting her for lunches.

 

Now if a woman was clearly encroaching on my man, I would definitely say something about it - and let him know what she is doing is crossing a boundary. Or if I was with a guy who did things like that (I would not be) I would be talking to him. But a casual conversation like the one you described? It would look far worse on me to be upset about something like that.

 

I have some friends whose partner gets jealous at EVERY little thing, every woman they walk by in the street, or work with, and I will say this - they don't find that an attractive trait. It's one thing to stand up for your relationship and yourself, it's another to try and close the rest of the world off.

 

Also, why do you even have to compare this women to yourself - her attractiveness and so forth? That just shows me that the issue here is more about your insecurity rather than any real reason to be jealous.

[Jadtt]

I'd have to agree with this one. Why would you compare yourself and why would you even question a conversation he had with a bartender? The way to really turn a guy off is to show this type of jealousy because, as RayKay said, it shows that you are a bit too possessive and a little clingy.

[traz]

Am I the only one who likes my girl to be a little bit possessive? lol

[sbrew21]

Never show jealously. Men like confident women and if you show jealously especially over him talking to a bartender then it shows you are insecure.

[teacup]

i didnt show it. i just sized her up and then turned my head away and forgot about it. i've never seen him talk to a woman before. besides me.

 

it's the first time ive felt jealousy towards another woman for a long time. it surprised me.

[sbrew21]

well it happens when you like somebody a lot. Just got to be a hard you know what and never show it. One step forward, two steps back. Just be strong and act like you didn't even notice she was there.