Hasie's Communication Tips - Part 1

[Hasie]

Starting conversations

Hi, I’ve noticed a lot of people posting up threads on conversation, starting, what to do, tips etc. I thought I might start my own thread beginning today on starting conversations.

 

Communication is vital in all walks of life, I’ve always held this firm belief. In relationships, whatever the sort, communication is really the key. Depending on the circumstances, there are heaps of ways to start conversations. In a more professional area you would expect things a way to start of by introducing who you are, what you’re here for, how you are going to achieve what you want to do and WHY you are the best for the job. A lot of people think that first impressions are it. Always remember, smile, take a deep breath and practice. Conversing doesn’t come overnight, the more practice, the more skilled you become and the easier it will be for you.

 

In terms of timing any conversation starter, again, individuals must consider the environment the conversation is to occur in and how open the other individual will be to their approach.

 

Pick up lines or not?

For the dating scene however, pick up lines are often used by many and definitely often overlooked. I personally don’t believe in pick up lines for strangers, it has hardly worked in the past and if it did work, it wouldn’t have mattered if I had used a pickup line or not. Often, pick up lines only work for those who are extremely desperate, as fun as they are, I suggest you avoid pick up lines. Instead, have a cocky style.

Some pick up lines include

Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!

Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?

Baicarumba...are those real?

Be unique and different, just say yes.

Can I flirt with you?

Damn girl, you have more curves than a race track.

Do you know karate? Cos damn it honey, your body is really kickin.

Excuse me. I'm from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I'm going to have to ask you to assume the position.

Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?

Honey, I'm new in this town - dya think I could have directions to your house.

I hope you know CPR, cos you take my breath away!

I've got the ship, you've got the harbor ... what say we tie up for the night?

I've just moved you to the top of my 'to do' list.

If you don't wanna have kids with me, then why don't we just practice?

Screw me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?

That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.

Were you arrested earlier? It's gotta be illegal to look that good.

 

 

 

The right attitude

As you can observe, most pickup lines are lame and don’t get mixed up with pick up lines and being cocky. Being cocky or overly confident is more like this

 

So what do you do for a living?

You: I’m a supermodel (when ur clearly not)

Or

You: Buy me a drink and I’ll tell you more

 

Now that’s what you want if you want a pickup line. Not some lame line that throws most people off.

 

When should I start a conversation?

This question really does depend on many variable factors. I will only concentrate on the dating scene once again as the dating scene works for normal casual conversing too. One good example of the variable factors is, if you’re walking down the sunset beach with another person, the last thing you will need to talk about is how your dog was bit by another dog and currently has an ear infection or how your friend, who has irritable bowel syndrome went to the curry restaurant last night. As a general rule of thumb, ask questions based on the environment to begin with. Going back to before at the beach… “woah isn’t it nice to walk down the sunset. Do you often do these things? What is it about doing this that you really like?” you get the point?

 

 

At the music concert “this band is pretty cool, what are your favourite tracks and why?” “they’re a bit like the another band…”

 

Movies: Now this is the easiest, everyone can talk about movies…

 

 

Whatever you do, try to avoid issues which revolve heavily around personal opinions such as religion and politics. You may be in for a heated debate which will ruin your romantic sunset beach walk into a sand fight (which could be fun lol). Individuals need to consider the atmosphere they are in and they need to solidly think about their responses before they speak them. Such tips may seem minor; however in speaking out of context, an individual can disrupt the natural rhythm of a conversation.

 

 

One big tip is, let go of yourself, don’t be afraid of something sounding stupid, no one is perfect, what you find stupid, others my find cute. Be yourself, that’s what really counts. A quote I heard a while ago was “conversing like a dance; neither individual should step on the other individual’s toes and each person in the conversation needs to maintain the natural rhythm of the conversation for it to flow effectively”

 

 

Think about it

 

 

 

I’ll post up another thread to continue this one sometime soon.

 

Hasie

[Stinkweed]

Thank you for this great post man. I needed it.

[jurupa]

I don't mean to kill your tips Hasie, but I notice somethings that need to be added to and taking away. I am not claiming to be some pro at conversations as I tend to be the guy that listens and talk very little for the most part.

 

 

First off is the cockyness. For the most part stay way from this. Unless you can show that you are joking when you are cocky. Another thing. A lot of guys go for the cockyness and it shows. Just go to any social gathering and you can most probably see it. A girl can only take so much cockyness in one night.

 

Next is the pick up lines, espeically the ones posted, be creative with them for god sake. And never never use lines that hint sex. Girls may just think you want a one night stand. Yes some girls do look for guys to have one, but not all. So it is best to read the girl as best as you can before using a sex pick up line. Another thing with pick up lines, don't use ones you can find off the Internet. Most of them suck to no end and plus they are not oringal and creative. You will impress a girl a lot more and get her interest higher with a creative and oringal pick up line. This alone can make you stand out in the girl's mind.

 

One thing that was not mention is the way you look when you approach a girl or anyone. You should have clothes that generally show how you will be acting in the soical setting you are in. If you have a old shirt and jeans on, people will generall think its landuary day for you. Or you don't really want to interact with people. A good way to learn about what clothes you should wear to how you think you will be acting is to look at any girls in the soical eviorment your in, or just in public. The reason I said to look at girls is that girls tend to dress to how they feel and where they are going. If a girl is wearing street clothes, not even casual ones, she is most probably running around getting stuff done. If she is wearing more casual clothes she is most probably going to hang out with friends. To see the difference in the two just drive or walk by any coffee shop and stores that will have girls in them.

 

Hasie is right that you need the right attitude when you talk to people, espeically when you are picking up girls. As far as attitudes go, don't have a big ego and think that your all that becuase a lot of girls don't like that. It is ok to be a little macho as it shows that you are being a guy, but don't over do it.

[Hasie]

Jurupa, you may have a point.

 

But I'm obviously not encouraging cockyness for the whole night, for some parts of it why not? Personally when I got out to meet new people etc, that is exactly what I do and it is highly unlikely I will talk to someone for more than an hour at a time unless I've picked her up. In that case lol, you obviously don't need general conversational tips do you?

 

Don't take the tips too literally, they are not perfect by any means, just recommendations. My tips haven't yet completed but thank you for your criticicms and/or contributions.

 

But com'on lol you're trying to kill me here man. I'm OF COURSE gonna use lame pick-up lines to illustrate my point and I'd still avoid pick up lines more than I ever would cockyness. THAT's the reason why I encouraged cockynes. In general, people who would be interested in this thread would not have the world's best pick up lines that are lame nor hav the courage to use them.

 

Jurupa I think perhaps you're getting a lil mixed up with my cockyness and yours... I don't think cockyness is like having a big ego. It's more a type of being funny. However, I understand that it can come accross as that as it would be natural. Some say a part of being cocky is to stand out, now some people can't take others standing out in a crowd.

 

The type of cockyness I'm talking about shouldn't be something you find everywhere. The only reason I encourage it, is because it's worked in my experiences. I don't encourage people to use it if they're aiming for long-term relationships and seirous nights out. Just for people who like to "chill" talk and work on their skills. Because in the long run, you need to be who you are. In a short night, you can be who you want to be.

 

Most people go out to clubs etc to have fun, if they want to find a potential new long-term partner, they tend to avoid clubs. I dunno if you agree with me on any of these but like I say, that's what I think. Most girls out there aren't looking for someone who's the same as everyone else. You can listen all you want, how's that gonna make you that much different from all the other guys who listen. At the end of the day, guys who are actually up themselves (unfortunately) are a lot less than the shy guys who just listen and be wussbags and let opportunities pass, chase after girls the whole time and call them up 3 times a day instead of letting them guess what ur up to. Those people stand out.

 

If you go to a shop to buy something new, there's 50 thousadn of the same thing in the shop. Would you get somethign that's different than the others or stand out?

 

Hasie

[Hasie]

However, jurupa does have the right idea with "standing out". That's what you gonna have to do.

 

Plus, who says these are just for guys anyway? Guys, wouldn't you like to talk 2 a chick who's bolder than one which just LISTENS? Someone who'll actually contribute more the to conversation in a different way? Even if they are cocky. Honestly, I don't get what's wrong with "buy me a drink and I'll tell you" - there's not too much up yourself in that. It's just right, it brings out that mysteriousness and fun.

 

Obviously, someone is asking you what you do for a living... chances are this person hardly knows you. You want to talk about your job for 20minutes - which is probably not anymore interesting than anyone else's job? Or bring some spark into it first and IF you want, talk about some boring job for 20minutes. Or bring some cockyness into it? Say if you are office person or say some sorta advisor... "well I meet new people everyday at work, that's what I do, they love meeting me and always ask me for my number so they can call me up in the future!"

 

lol or do you want to say "well I advice people on what kinda stocks to invest in, at the moment I think CTX is a really good stock or maybe RIO" - yea i suppose that COULD get someone impressed.

 

Think about it.

 

Hasie

[Derek]

I think there is that quiet confidence that is "cocky" and that funny attitude that always gives a funny answer to questions. Then there is that arrogant "cockiness" that is fake and not backed up with actions. I would think Hasie means the first one. Girls can usually smell the fakes pretty quick. Also the suggestions are directly towards "shy guys" anyway, because the outgoing guys aren't going to be in here reading about how to make conversation since they are already naturals. The "shy guys" need to dig deep and step out and not be afraid to be guys and have guy opinions and guy preferences.

 

Girls notice a guy that is genuine and follows his own direction. They want to be a part of his adventure if he's got an interesting direction going.