Slowly breaking doWn again, PLEASE HELPPPP

[capricorn85]

Hey guys, I haven't been on here for a while, but here is an update. Basically my bf of a year and 1/2 broke up with me in September because he needed "time for himself." Since that day I have been struggling with how to approach this situation. Recently I have done NC and he emailed me 3 times. He has also logged onto my sn, adding his blocked sn. T he first time he called he stated that he loves me and how he did not play me but I HAVE TO UNDERSTAND (such bs!). The second time stating that I am being A BABY because I amnot writing him back or calling him back and the third time to say that he saw my mom and she assured him that I still love him and that he misses me and he did not want things to be this way. During this time he called a few times and a lot from private numbers. I ENDED UP CHANGING MY NUMBER! The HARDEST thing to do...After the thirs time he emailed me I said I will call you tomm from a blocked number so pick up if you would like to talk. I called and he picked up. He kept asking me if I was talking to anyone new and telling me that he knows I am. I told him that that is not important and that we should not discuss that, then he asked me why I learned in the past few weeks of NC. He asked if I changed my number and I said no. Basically, I found myself getting upset, so I got off the phone. Now today I just feel confused, I have like tears in my eyes all day and IDK what to do anymore. He emailed me asking for my house number. PLEASE HELP! DURING OUR CONVERSATION LAST NIGHT HE DID NOT TELL ME HE LOVES ME OR THAT HE WANTS TO BE WITH ME AT ALL.

[evepm]

capricorn85:

 

you need to go back to nc. your ex is being very selfish. afterall, didn't he "need space"? it is so none of his business if you get involved with someone else. it sounds to me like at the moment, he doesn't want you but doesn't want anyone else to have you either.

[Bigbilly]

You're doing everything you can to get away from him, because of how he hurt you, and yet he chases after you, beating you about the head and shoulders with the fact that he "does not love you."

 

He's just trying to make sure you aren't enjoying life without him, or, even "worse" starting to talk to other men. He made his choice. If he isn't gonna stop jerking you around and tormenting you like this, then he outta leave you alone and let you move on.

[Bethany]

I think he is being selfish. He dumped you and now he does that?

If you need time to yourself, then tell him. Tell him that he has hurt you but you are trying to move on with your life and to please respect your wishes and that you will be in contact when YOU feel like it.

 

Even if you want to get back with him, I think you should say it anyway, it will give you some time to recover, get your head together and for your emotions to calm so you can see things in a better perspective and talk to him properly about what is going to happen in the future, whether your apart or not. Be strong.

[capricorn85]

Thank you so much guys for the advice. I love you all. It is the hardest thing to get dumped

[Hawk]

You are nearly right - getting dumped is hard, but I try to keep it in perspective about some people who have got it a whole lot worse than me (natural disasters, illness) and that helps me realise that I can move on.

[danylion]

HI capricorn

 

He is messing with your head, you have done so well to get yourself in a safe place and he is trying to keep tabs on you. He has not said he loves you ar anything remotely productive so hold your own.

 

Politely withdraw from him and carry on as you were. He has brought you down again and he knows the buttons to press.

 

You are being very brave, especially the number change, thats a real toughy.

Lots of hugs and cugs heading your way!!!!

[capricorn85]

So do you guys suggest that I so FULL NC, meaning blocking all of his screen names. I dont think i should give him my house number. As bad as I want to.

[Broken_Toe]

So do you guys suggest that I so FULL NC, meaning blocking all of his screen names. I dont think i should give him my house number. As bad as I want to.

 

Hi Capricorn!! I know EXACTLY what your gonig through!! The first 3-6 months after the end of the relationship suck!! but you should take heart and pride in how well you are doing/have done at nc so far. So many of us would have caved when the ex was constantly e-mailing or calling but for you to stick to your guns is admirable and you should give yourself credit!!

 

Believe me it does get better it just takes time! The best thing to do is to spend time with friends and family, try to (as hard as this will be) put your ex out your head as much as possible and concentrate on you, what makes you feel good a bout you and what makes you happy!!

 

Take care, good luck and happy healing!!

[ratherbesailing]

It sounds like you should stay NC and block all his screen names. Like Danylion said, be polite if he does contact you but be clear that you wish him well but you aren't interested in hearing from him anymore. Maybe make that your autoresponce to his IMs. If he goes on at you just tell him you have to run and end the call. He sounds pretty controlling but if you are consistant, he'll give up soon. If you shoot back at him or waiver in any way he'll want to continue the banter.

 

After him, give yourself a little time before your next relationship. It will all work itself out.

[RayKay]

Definitely stay in FULL NC and block him.

 

By the sounds of it, he is only coming after you as he wants to control you. You are like a puppy on a leash, and he is trying to yank you back. But once he realizes you are back, he will once again not really care - he just wants to know you are listening and living for him. Which you aren't, right?!?!?

 

He sounds controlling, so stay strong and be firm that you do not want to talk to him. And once you have told him that...don't talk to him!

 

I know it hurts right now, but things WILL get better, and you deserve much better then the treatment this guy is giving you - and you also deserve someone whom IS sure of how they feel about you and loves you to the fullest.

 

Keep plodding forward, things will look up in time

[capricorn85]

Okay so my ex IM'd my friend looking for me. Then he called m mom today asking her if I blocked his sn's from sending me e-mails, he said he wants to talk to me. So she told me to unblock one of his names just to see what he has to say.