What would you say before no contact?

[Lenny70]

my ex girlfriend split with me, but calls and txts at least every other day, im gonna go no contact with her after a prior arrangment on fri, but wondered if i should let her know how much i think of her ..before i tell her that we should no longer communicate for a while...would appreciate some advice........

[michaeljordan2]

I was thinking the same thing. I have been friends with my ex for awhile but can't take being just friends anymore. How do you stop talking to someone in order to get over yet let them know you still love them? What should or shouldn't you say?

 

-MJ

[Hope75]

How about something along the lines of:

 

"It's really hard for me to keep in touch with you right now because I still care and I am hurting and I feel it would be best for both of us if we take some time apart from each other. thereforeeee, I would ask that for now you not contact me.

 

Please understand that this is so that I can begin to heal, which is hard to do when I am reminded through contact with you what I have lost.

 

Thank you for respecting my feelings."

 

Or something like that?

[redandblack]

You hit it right on the head Hope75. You can tell him or her that the friendship is valuable to you and that you do not wish to loose it. However, tell him or her that you can't stand to only be friends with that person at the moment. It's only fair to you. A friendship based upon the hope of getting back together is no friendship at all.

[Lenny70]

guess it wouldnt hurt to tell her how im feelin then,seems a better idea than just stoppin answering her calls....think that would make me seem a bit bitter. im actually looking forward to no contact for a while, feel like ive been stuck in some kind of limbo land for a month or so...thx for the advice guys

[michaeljordan2]

Would it be a bad idea to mention some of the reasons why it's so hard to stay with contact? For example, when she talks about guys or a certain guy? Or even specific things she's said?

 

-MJ2

[Lenny70]

to be honest mj...i couldnt see any good coming of questioning her about her talkin bout other guys...thats the way she is and i think that would just annoy her...........ive just told her i think it would be better if we didnt contact each other anymore...that i still really cared for her and that i need to sort my head out to be the friend she wants me to be...ready to think about myself now

[augustus]

I think thats a really good way to go. She knows how you feel and she will respect the fact that you are strong enough and have enough self respect to let go in order to focus on yoursrelf... Once you're better you can still be friends if you want.

[Hawk]

I think you have answered the question yourself when you say things like being consumed, not healthy and not fair. If she is really playing games with you then the game DOES have to stop otherwise you will go insane. NC starts now.

[Lenny70]

Notmyself, 4 months is a long time to be spending in limboland, i have been there for the last 4-5 weeks myself ,obsessing about the relationship constantly, not sleepin properly ,not eating properly, not working properly analyzing everything! ive had enough now,its not healthy for me waiting for her to call or txt me...i personally think it would be good for you to tell that you still cared for her, but that it would be better for you not to contact each other....that way you can begin to heal yourself and also to take her safety net away from her...at the moment she has the best of both worlds doesnt she.....she still has you to lean on emotionally. dont be there for her anymore...she finished the realtionship! When you go n/c take the time to focus on you and your wellbieng,its the only way to move forward and also take some control over the whole situation

[Lenny70]

I think thats a really good way to go. She knows how you feel and she will respect the fact that you are strong enough and have enough self respect to let go in order to focus on yoursrelf... Once you're better you can still be friends if you want.

 

 

Thx for the support Augustus, i actually feel stronger for taking the initative to go go no contact and clawing back some control of the way i am feeling, its no good allowing someone who doesnt want to be with you to control the way you feel......it'll only hurt!