I need some advice :)

[ang3l2004]

Does a man get closer to a woman after having intercourse with her for the first time after dating for 2 months but not commited?

 

Also after having intercourse with someone you are seeing with no commitment are there signs to look for that the man just wants sex or signs you can look for that he has grew stronger feelings?

[teacup]

as a woman. i say it's better to hold out until he makes a commitment, until you guys are together and have been for awhile. i say it's better to make sure so that you dont have to deal with insecurity, anxiety and the high possiblity of getting screwed over.

 

dont get carried away with the hormones and stuff. i just gave the dude i've seen a few times 5-6 times a handjob and im wondering if i went too far. geezzzzz this sucks.

 

girls we gotta be slower and respect ourselves more and do less than what we want. we gotta watch our boundaries and be careful and more slow, not so fast.

[Lily04]

I totally agree. Don't move faster than you feel comfortable. When I dated my first ex-bf I was also his first gf and he wanted to do everything soo fast, especially because he was leaving for another country soon. I felt a lot of pressure and it wasn't right, looking back. Luckily I didn't have sex with him (he wanted it a lot, you can imagine) but I did do oral, which I didn't like, just because I wasn't even really attracted to him... I just wanted a boyfriend at the time. I suppose I liked his personality as well, and was a bit bored. Anyway, make sure you: 1) Really like the person, and 2) Feel ready, press for commitment if you want. As a rule, I'm not going to have sex with a guy until I feel ready... emotionally and physically.

[RayKay]

Does a man get closer to a woman after having intercourse with her for the first time after dating for 2 months but not commited?

 

Also after having intercourse with someone you are seeing with no commitment are there signs to look for that the man just wants sex or signs you can look for that he has grew stronger feelings?

 

That is going to depend on his beliefs and views about sex, and also his perceptions and feelings about you. He could either get "closer", feel indifferent, or lose respect - it is VERY hard to tell you what he will think, feel or do since it is different for everyone.

 

As for signs, well, I guess it comes down more to how he makes you FEEL, and what actions he takes to make you FEEL that way.

 

If he just wants sex, you will probably figure it out when he seems to start focusing everything on sex, and not making time for you otherwise and so forth. If he has stronger feelings, the sex will be an accent to the developing relationship.

 

If you want commitment though, you are going to have to talk to him about it - it would of been preferable to do BEFORE the sex, but if its important to you, you should make sure you are on the same wavelength.

[Jadtt]

Does a man get closer to a woman after having intercourse with her for the first time after dating for 2 months but not commited?

 

Also after having intercourse with someone you are seeing with no commitment are there signs to look for that the man just wants sex or signs you can look for that he has grew stronger feelings?

 

 

I am not a guy, but I would like to offer my opinion on this matter....

 

I've learned that with men, they are able to have a sexual relationship without the feeling of attachment. Additionally, just because they have a sexual relationship with a woman does not necessarily mean that they will commit to her and/or want a deeper relationship with her.

 

With respect to women (and this is my own experience) there are a lot of us out there who form a level of attachment to a man after having sex, even if it might be a small level of attachment. Additionally, some of us will actually not have sex with a man until we feel that there is some sort of commitment.

 

I've been in relationships before where the man just wanted to have sex with me and here are the signs I've noticed:

 

• He came on really strong, was super sweet, said all the right things to me in the beginning and always wanted to be around me.
  
• After we had sex, it was just always more sex, but we didn't really do anything outside of that like going out, talking, etc.
  
• He did not introduce me to any of his friends and refused to do so.
  
• He stopped calling me on a regular basis.
  
• All of a sudden he was "busy" and had "things" to do all the time.
  
• He started lying to me and would not invite me out to functions even though he invited some of our mutual friends.
  
• He started freaking out on me and talking about how there were "changes" he was making in his life and he didn't want a g/f getting in the way.

These are just a couple examples, I think the calling part is key. All of a sudden roles were switched up in the relationship and I became the "pursuer" and he was the one pursued.

 

After experiencing a couple situations like this I have come to the conclusion that I will not have sex with a man I am dating until:

 

• I know that there is chemistry between us.
  
• I know that there is a commitment between us because we have discussed it.
  
• I feel there is a possibility of something deeper in the future.
  
• I have begun to develop feelings for him.

For me, sex is more wonderful when I care about someone and when they care about me. Of course, if I just feel like having a one-night stand without any strings, I will do that. But, in a dating situation where I have a good feeling that the guy is someone I can see myself in a more committed relationship with, I will move forward and have sex with him.

 

When it comes to determining if a guy has feelings for you, I would look more towards his actions than his words. Even if he says all the right things, that doesn't mean that he is being honest and upfront about how he really feels. If he takes the time to call you, rearranges his schedule to see you, is just as happy sitting on the couch and chatting with you as he might be when he's out having drinks, if he respects you when you draw your sexual boundaries, then I would say he is interested in more than just having sex with you.

 

I would say to trust your intuition and feelings when it comes to this particular subject. If you have a slight feeling of axiety or you feel things are just not right, then your intuition is telling you to "listen up". My intuition has been right in almost every situation, and if I would have listened to it a lot more, then I would have experienced less heartache in my life.

[ang3l2004]

Thanks so much for the replies

[teacup]

jadtt- for the feelings of intution.....are these feelings you get while you're with him? or afterwards?

 

i feel anxious after i see him and i got home. but not while im with him.

[Jadtt]

jadtt- for the feelings of intution.....are these feelings you get while you're with him? or afterwards?

 

i feel anxious after i see him and i got home. but not while im with him.

 

I guess it depends on the situation. More times than not, my intuition comes when I am not with the person. It's almost like when I am with them, my mind is picking up on subtle gestures and/or looks that they are giving me...and then, when I'm away from all of them that information is processed and I get the "feeling". And, I can honestly say, they have always been correct.

 

I think what happens with me is when I'm around them, the intuition feelings aren't always there because I'm distracted by just being with them.