Just need a little sympathy.. and some help

[_hopeless_]

ok... it's kinda a long and gruling process but I'm gonna say everything..

Ok well a long time ago my really good friend told me she was Bi. I was truly fine with it and honestly didn't care. Then a couple months later she emails me and tells me she loves me. I told her that I only loved her as a friend and such and I didn't want our friendship to be ruined.. the next day she told me she was drunk and didn't really mean it. I don't know why but I felt a little... disapointed or let down I don't know .. something. Anyway I always got the feeling that she was lying about it just because some of the stuff. Anyway lately I have been questioning myself... maybe I really do love her... but I never considered myself Bi... it's just she makes me feel so special and I constantly want to hold her. Anyway yesterday she kissed me, then apologized several times and walked away... I really want to tell her that I feel the same way for her but I'm still confused. How do I know this is real... cuz if I go through with this my whole life is gonna be changed. My family is completely anti-gay and all that so it would be a living hell to go through that... I just want some comfort... and maybe some advice... help...

[melrich]

Your mixed feelings do not necessarily mean that you are gay. It is quite common for people to go through a period where they question their sexuality and have feelings for the same sex. You can only be honest with yourself.

[GettingOverIt]

I agree... Be honest with yourself first and foremost... In the meantime, talk with your friend and be honest with her... Let her know your confusion... If you are uncomfortable with her behaving the way she is, you should talk to her about it and let her know that you love her, but that she needs to not kiss you right now.... (that is not worded the way I want, but my brain seems to have quit functioning)

[Outcast-Angel]

first of all, i would say that you need to examin your feelings more closely. are you just missing her company, or ar you actually attracted to her? if you really are attracted to her, i would suggest talking to her. she's already gone through discovering that she likes other girls, so maybe she can clear up some of your confusion. i absolutely adore some of my female friends, but i'm not in love with them. i am, however, completely gay.

i understand your concern about your family. i'm not sure how mine would react, so i haven't told them for fear of rejection and anger. knowing for certain that they would reject me for it.. i don't know what to tell you. i'm waiting to tell them until i'm financially independent, so that if this causes some major problems, i don't have to worry so much.. i can always just move out.

the only real advice i can give you is to be true to yourself. because if you're not, it's hard to find real happiness. good luck, and don't rush any decision. feel free to PM me or anyone else you think could help out, or give support.

[Jinx]

I believe the first and most important step in any relationship matter as this is that you can see yourself in a relationship with a woman. If you don't believe you can fulfill each aspect of a relationship with her (along the lines of love, friendship, romance, equals, etc...) then it most likely isn't a true love.

 

Sometimes feelings between a close friendship and romantic interest can be confused. The basics are deciding what you will and won't do, and how long you're in for. Remember, she is an important person to you. In this case I'd at it in the light of, what is more important and manageable to you (outside of your family and the homophobia that is for the time being though) the friendship or potential relationship.

 

If you decide you have all the interest, you know she is interested in you. At least there isn't any of that guessing work most have to do when they are interested in a friend or acquaintance reading every little detail of physical and verbal language and expression. That simplifies the case to some extent.

 

Its really all up to you at this point and more importantly what your self set boundries are. If you can imagine an all-in-all long term relationship with a women, there you have it. If you can't or are reserved on a topic which is essential, then it is most likely a no go situation.

[Tigris]

Talk to your friend and tell her that you do have feelings for her but you are confused at present.

 

Good luck and take care.