acuraman Posted October 30, 2005 Share Posted October 30, 2005 After almost 7 weeks of NC with my ex, she called me today when I least expected her to. Heres the quick story: She broke up with me, called me back the next day saying that she needed time to think things over. A week later, she became distant and stopped returning my phone calls. I got tired of playing her game and told her that she didnt have to worry about me being in her life anymore. Well after she left a message, I waited a few hours before calling her back. When I spoke to her, she sounded very happy to hear my voice and she wanted to know if we could do lunch together to catch up on new things in our lives. I agreed and picked her up. We had a good lunch and we talked about whats been going on in our lives. We didn't ask any personal questions during our conversation. I was not emotional when I spoke to her and I avoided talking about us and if she was seeing someone or not. She thought that I didn't want anything to do with her because I didn't pick the phone up immediately to call her back. Anyways, I dropped her off after lunch and she asked me to call her more often, and I replied that it works both ways. She also wanted to know if we could hang out next weekend and I told her I had plans but perhaps the week after. I was very surprised by the way I handled the whole situation. I am a firm believer that NC works but it takes time. I do not have any expectations out of this meeting with her, but I am glad to see her again. Link to comment
darkblue Posted October 30, 2005 Share Posted October 30, 2005 How do you feel about her now? Link to comment
thefireisoutanyway Posted October 30, 2005 Share Posted October 30, 2005 Congrats! I wish I could be that strong. Yes, as darkblue asked, I too am a bit curious about how you feel about your ex. You said you have no expectations, but do you still want to get back with her? Link to comment
acuraman Posted October 31, 2005 Author Share Posted October 31, 2005 I really don't know if I can answer that or not. I mean Im happy that she decided to contact me after our break up, but I just don't know. Part of me still wants to be with her because she means so much to me, and the other part of me just wants to keep it at a friendship maybe call her once a week thing because she was so mean to me towards the end of our relationship that I don't know if I could go through that again. Those 7 weeks of NC made me realized that during our relationship, I was not able to be myself and I had to change myself to fit in with her personality and that was hard. It also made me realize that I was a fool to have changed for her, I should have been myself whether she liked it or not. I called her today to wish her good luck on her new job and to keep me updated. She was really nice to me on the phone again today and she sounded really happy that I had called her. I will keep all of you updated on any new developements that happen. Link to comment
thefireisoutanyway Posted October 31, 2005 Share Posted October 31, 2005 Yeah, I think I know what you mean. Just imagining what I'd do if my ex-called me, or told me if she wanted to get back with me, I realized it's not so simple. In anycase, I wish you luck. Link to comment
acuraman Posted November 1, 2005 Author Share Posted November 1, 2005 Its not simple at all. There are too many "what ifs" in this situation. I thought about all the times my ex would get mad at me for stupid things and it just isn't worth it. I mean I couldn't even give opinions on things because she wanted to be the one that was right. Your ex will call you in time, you just have to be patient and not expect her to call. The best thing you can do is just move on with your life and live it to the fullest. Just remember your life doesn't revolve around her. Link to comment
acuraman Posted November 2, 2005 Author Share Posted November 2, 2005 Heres another update! My ex called me this evening to tell me that she was having a bad day and needed someone to talk to. Along with that, she wanted to know if I would meet up with her to drop off her pictures at one hour photo to get it developed. I agreed and picked her, and we went to dinner instead of waiting for her photos. She was happy to see me and we had some very good conversations. We never once mentioned about our past though or what went wrong. I know I certainly don't wanna go there. My question is should I go there or just leave it alone and stay friends with her? Would it be better if she brought it up instead of myself? Any feed back would be appreciated. Link to comment
flightymighty Posted November 7, 2005 Share Posted November 7, 2005 I believe that life is too short to not do and say the things us humans feel and think. Bring it up and if she doesn't respond in the way that you want, you have your answer. Yes the agony will feel like it's starting all over but it will be your gateway to letting go. Link to comment
NR498E Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 fantastic job you handled that perfectly Link to comment
NR498E Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 no dont bring it up. she has to be the one to do that, if shes really into you shell bring it up.you need to be alof and be a challenge any pysch major will tell you that Link to comment
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