I think I've lost my friend...

[david_n]

I have a friend and I think I've lost her. I've known her for a couple of years now. I used to see her a fair bit; once or twice a week, sometimes just us, other times with other people. We got pretty close as friends and I really enjoyed her company, and she mine.

 

About eight weeks ago I was having some real difficulties in my life. My depression grew a lot lower; I wasn't coping with life too well. I wrote my feelings down in an email and sent it to my friend. Looking back it was a selfish thing to do (when is depression not...?) but at the time I just needed to tell someone how I felt. I didn't even want any advice or help as such; I just wanted to know that someone knew how I felt; someone who cared. Unfortunately my friend was having some serious problems herself at that time. I didn't know and my awful timing must have seemed, well, bad to say the least.

I didn't get much of a reply to my email and a couple of nights later I felt worse, quite desperate to be honest. I wrote another email to her, nothing insulting to her in any way but it reflected my state of mind. I was in a bad way.

 

I tried calling her a couple of nights later but she wouldn't take my calls. She texted me and that's when I found she "...had her own problems right now", and couldn't deal with mine too. I told her that I understood and that she could talk to me any time if she wanted to.

 

I haven't heard from her since. That week I went to my doctor and since then I've been in counseling (again) for my depression. I didn't try to contact her either but three nights ago I sent her email. Just a 'Hi, how you doing' sort of thing. She hasn't replied and now I don't know what to do. I dare not text her let alone try call her; I'm sure she'd just ignore me again. I just want my friend back.

 

It feels as if I've gone from a good friend to someone not even worth talking to. And what am I meant to do? Just walk away? Forget it all and 'move on'? What is the effing point of having friends if they can just flick a switch and you're no longer a friend anymore? I mean, we didn't even fall out; it just seems so pointless...

 

I know this sounds really pathetic and I know it's just one person but knowing there's someone out there who I care about, who used to really enjoy my company but now won't even talk to me is just really sad. Nonetheless, I appreciate you taking the time to read this.

[PavPPZ1]

If she doesnt want a friend, then you didnt lose her but she lost you, brush it off and never let anyone push you away, because when they do that its an indication that they are infact losing you. Always have respect for yourself and value, you seem liek a great guy dont let it get to you. Move on..

[suprema99]

your depression is really hurting you man. Depression is a killer. It sucks being around a depressed person, They suck all the life out of you. They make you lose hope and it's not their fault, but it happens. You find yourself maybe thinking like them after awhile. Why are you depressed right now? I would think someone in your life that was close to you, might of rubbed that off on you. Depressed people can take you down, . It sucks but it's true.

[david_n]

Move on... It looks like I don't have much of a choice. I try to have respect for myself, I really do. It's just hard when people stop thinking good things of you.

 

Depression is a killer. People forget that. If you have it, sooner or later it will get you. Mine's mixed up with my childhood and how I make (or don't make) proper relationships with people now. I'm slowly making progress with my counsellor but the situation with my friend isn't helping. You're right, it does suck being around a depressed person. I guess she knows that as much as anyone...

[suprema99]

goodluck in your counseling, I appreciate agreeing with me on that. She seems to be part of the problem and hopefully you'll work things out with each other, but you have to take care of yourself first. . goodluck

[PavPPZ1]

I believe I had a depression, I overcame it on my own and without medication, I wont go into the details of my situation, but I went through some things which I dont know of anyone else who has, it made me stronger, and I look at life quite differently.

 

Lets say when problems arise I look to myself for solutions now...

[darkblue]

your depression is really hurting you man. Depression is a killer. It sucks being around a depressed person, They suck all the life out of you. They make you lose hope and it's not their fault, but it happens. You find yourself maybe thinking like them after awhile. Why are you depressed right now? I would think someone in your life that was close to you, might of rubbed that off on you. Depressed people can take you down, . It sucks but it's true.

 

Are you being serious?