I still love him

[Phoenix_girl]

It's been 4 months since my bf and I called it completely quits. We were in a realtions for a year, then cooled it to a casual dating thing for 10 months and then ended it in July. He says hes not in love with me, which i have accepted when the relationship ended a year ago.

But the problem is......I still love him. I dont know how to shake my feelings for him. Any advice?

 

We are jsut friends now and it is a great friendship. I want to be able to move on and find someone new, but i feel i wont be able to love that person completely as long as i have feelings for my ex.

[Serendipity1607307077]

I think you can't get over him because you are still in contact with him... you are friends, but it's hurting you because you know that's all its going to be..

 

Maybe you should just tell him that you need space for a while because you have things you need to sort out... and have no contact until you feel like you are over him...

 

Difficult, but necessary if you are going to get over him.

[MissJones]

I hate to admit it but as long as you're still friends with him, you're not going to stop having feelings for him any time soon.

 

It took me about 1 year to stop being inlove with my ex - and that was with no contact AT ALL. I can't imagine the hell I would have put myself through if we had contact. Don't torture yourself. I also didn't want to torture myself by being friends, still loving him and watching him with someone else. How awful.

 

You won't be able to move on as long as you're still hanging around your ex. Mr Right could come your way and you wouldn't even know it because you'll still be clinging on to those feelings for your ex.

 

There's no reason you can't be friends oneday - when you're both totally over each and have moved on.

[newts]

I broke up with my ex (he broke up with me) 8 months ago. To cut a long story short after we broke up he started going out with somebody else 2 days later and was engaged to her 7 weeks later. It hurt, I changed my number as through out the 7 weeks before and after he got engaged he kept contacting me. Once I found out through a mutual friend of ours he was engaged I change my telephone number so he could never contact me. It took me 2 month to get over that hurt, that betrayal, however, 6 more months down the track without the constant contact and harassment from him I feel fantastic! I still love him, however I love myself more and respect myself for having the courage to walk away from the one I loved. I do howver have the satisfaction of knowing that he keeps ringing my old number leaving messages etc... telling me how unhappy he is and he needs me etc.... I finally have my power back and am loving every minute of it.

 

What I am trying to say is I still love this guy, however, he couldn't be what I wanted or give me whaI want in life so I moved on. (I will probably love him to the day I die)

[Phoenix_girl]

Thats exactly how i feel newts. My ex hasnt started dating anyone in the time we've been apart and sometimes i think if he moved on and started seeing someone then i would be able to as well. Only time will tell i guess.

[acuraman]

Yeah, as long a you remain in contact with your ex, you will have feelings for him. Those feelings are preventing you from moving on and finding new partners. Your ex made it clear that hes not in love with you but the two of you are good friends. You should have a talk with him about what your going through and explain to him that as long as he is around you, it makes it hard for you to move on. I think he will understand and give space to move on in life because it sounds like he does still care for you. Let him know that you'll contact him when you feel that your feelings won't get involved between the two of you.