biacd Posted October 18, 2005 Share Posted October 18, 2005 Well, i thought that it'll be good for us all that's trying to get our ex's back or those trying to get over them to share our progress here, it'll be a sort of encouragement to those out there! =) Link to comment
biacd Posted October 18, 2005 Author Share Posted October 18, 2005 well, i'll start first. It's been a day since i've spoken to my ex, she's on hols and won't be back till next monday, and i miss her pretty much. I don't know what else to do. i can call her, but i think i'd better not. I have received lots of help and advice from lots of people during this time, and i would like to thank all of u. Some of u guys showed me the reality of my situation, and the others gave me hope and encouragement, so thank u guys. To nataliejulie, thanks for ur help, it gives me great determination and encouragement when i read the chat we had, it makes me not want to give up when i'm feeling hopeless. thanks a lot Link to comment
nataliejulie Posted October 18, 2005 Share Posted October 18, 2005 To nataliejulie, thanks for ur help, it gives me great determination and encouragement when i read the chat we had, it makes me not want to give up when i'm feeling hopeless. thanks a lot That's what I'm here for!! Link to comment
biacd Posted October 18, 2005 Author Share Posted October 18, 2005 To nataliejulie, thanks for ur help, it gives me great determination and encouragement when i read the chat we had, it makes me not want to give up when i'm feeling hopeless. thanks a lot That's what I'm here for!! =) thanks a lot. if u see me on IM would u mind sending me a pm? i would like to ask u some stuff.. but only when u're feeling better, saw ur post on ur thread. don't dwell too much on it ok? take care! Link to comment
biacd Posted October 18, 2005 Author Share Posted October 18, 2005 damn! i'm having a real hard time not talking to her. i know she's overseas, but even so her cell is still with her, and i could easily give her a text or call if i wanted. i feel so weak now, and i wanna succumb to the temptation it's real hard keeping her out of my head, and i have nothing to occupy my thoughts for the rest of the week. just home, computer, and her(amazingly). im going insane someone tape me to the floor! dave are u there come tape me to the flooor!!!! Link to comment
Cesca1013 Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 my ex keeps calling out of the blue for little things. Its harder then heck to be vauge about everything. But I think that I am doing very well at not calling him. THEN his dad calls me tonight to ask how the baby is doing from being sick and in the ER... His dad was like could you try getting ahold of him and have him call me and his mother, he hasn't been calling us and he wont answer... So I called. and of course the one time I wanted to leave a message he answered.. I told him what his dad was wanting and asked him to give them a call then he started about the boys and me and I was just like I am sorry but I am tired and I need some sleep. He's like ok I will call you tomorrow to see how you're doing... Link to comment
nataliejulie Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 Basically -- My ex dumps me. Wants space. We fought a lot, I drove him crazy. Told me he didn't love me anymore. Two weeks later, he starts crying on the phone every time I talk to him. He told me how much he still loves me. And misses me a lot. But continues to say he doesn't see it working out... This continues for a month. Our communication starts opening up, started talking like best friends again. A month ago, we decide to take things slow, hang out again, see how things go and develop. Now things just get better and better and better!!!! He's never been this sweet to me!! I literally feel a whole new relationship... I'm falling in love all over again. Link to comment
biacd Posted October 19, 2005 Author Share Posted October 19, 2005 Basically -- My ex dumps me. Wants space. We fought a lot, I drove him crazy. Told me he didn't love me anymore. Two weeks later, he starts crying on the phone every time I talk to him. He told me how much he still loves me. And misses me a lot. But continues to say he doesn't see it working out... This continues for a month. Our communication starts opening up, started talking like best friends again. A month ago, we decide to take things slow, hang out again, see how things go and develop. Now things just get better and better and better!!!! He's never been this sweet to me!! I literally feel a whole new relationship... I'm falling in love all over again. thanks nat, this is giving me a lot inspiration. your situation and mine is so similar, that's why whenever i feel down, i feel hopeless, i would read through what u have told me, what i could possibly have back. Link to comment
biacd Posted October 19, 2005 Author Share Posted October 19, 2005 do u still love him? intend on getting back together?? Link to comment
Rickster Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 Well, about some time ago, my ex never bothered to contact me. She wouldn't want to meet up, nor would she like to talk on the phone(always giving excuses to get off). She even made me think that she smoked by smoking infront of me(when we we were together both of us said we hate people who smoke and neither of us will smoke) so I was pretty devasted that she did that. But I found out from friends after I was over being suicidal that she doesn;t really smoke and she only did that to push me away. But like just about 1 and a half months ago I started to do things differently. No more bugging, no more pestering, no more asking to go out and meet up, no more calls, no more talking about our relationship, no more talking about her new relationship. I did NC for 2 weeks. And for the past 1 and a half months Ive been calling her off and on very friendly. Until a few weeks ago she calledme about something to do with computers and I asked her whether she would like to go out with some old friend both of us knew. I started getting closer to our friends that we knew, and finally she really saw me that I changed. That I was the loveable, sweet, cheerful, joking, happy chappy I once was. After that time she has texted me 3 times out of the blue. And before that time she called me a few times and text me too. Currently, we are atleast friends, where I call her to ask about things, and joke about, and talk about friends. I can't say close friends. We don't talk about personal things. Progress is there, but its slow, like in any friendship. Im just scared to call her too often, and make her think that Im still not over her. She hasn't like called me frequently, so theres no good indication that I should call her more often. Although she did call about some stuff and like sms me about some stuff. Its such a long story. I can say we are better off. Just very slow. Nothing more than friends. And not close ones though. Link to comment
Photo55 Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 Ex dumps me for former partner 5 days NC then I send an email laying out my feelings. Next day I get sms - NC from me Next day another sms - NC from me 2 days later get email asking if I think we can work it out..I email back saying yes Next day he emails saying he wants to speak face to face Next day we meet...decide to work it out. Going slow with contact once a week until he can fully meet the criteria (my needs) I specified for getting it full on again. It was like meeting a new person..we are both now much more relaxed and it feels like the relatioship has transcended what it was before..definitely an emotional deepening. Link to comment
Cesca1013 Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 do u still love him? intend on getting back together?? Yes I still love him very much so. But the whole getting back together thing rests in his hands. One minute he seems to want to be with me and I have the guy I fell in love with in front of me then the next minute he's this new person who I don't recognize. I'm not just being hopeful... But I see the look in his eyes he still cares and loves me... Just right now he has things that he has to work through... Well I think that's how it is. Link to comment
OCD Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 Progress...humm, I think there is progress to report. Let's see...I'll try to make this brief... Almost 2 yr. relationship, ups downs, but more ups than downs. Great time. Plans for the future, family, etc. I have opportunity to get house for us, got it. We talked about 6 months then she'll move in and get married. She gets cold feet, needs space, no problem take time to think. She ignores me for over a week, I then call. I ask if she's ending it, she says if you need an answer than "YES I AM" I ask why, she says I have no answers...I'll always love you, click... I try desperatley to find out what happned, unplugged her phone, etc. I left a message saying to at least give a reason, blah blah blah. I start NC. She calls two weeks later in the middle of the night to hear my voice... She calls almost 4 weeks later, didn't answer She calls 4 more times, I didn't answer... She calls again 2 weeks later, I answer...spoke briefly...no answer no relationship talk... She calls again almost 2 weeks later, spoke briefly, said I had to go, no relationship talk... She calls again, a week and half later, small talk, but nice...I ask if she wants to have coffe to chat, talk, catch up...she says yes, sure, but doesn't know what time would be good, she'll call me back... She never called back... That's where I'm at today...She's initiated all of the contact and it's been nice, but she sounds confused and I really want to work it out without saying it...what to do now? Keep NC. So far so good I guess, but I wish she would just say I MISS YOU, and step up to the plate...I feel that I've given her oportunities, any thoughts...thanks all. Link to comment
nataliejulie Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 I don't think NC is right for that situation. I mean, you two have opened the gates of communication... you both need to be comfortable and step slowly back into the water. That's what she might be doing. And by doing NC, it might just push her back. Link to comment
OCD Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 Thank you, but you don't think I should call her regarding our little "get together" right? Should I wait a few days to see if she calls saying why she didn't meet? Are you saying I should call her in a few days? That would be the first call I've made to her in 2 months. I feel wiery about doing that, but I'm willing to make a go at it. I don't want her to just say, I'm was only checking up on you...blah blah. You know what I mean? I think that would hurt all over again, maybe... Link to comment
coooolsome Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 I wouldnt call her only because she said she would call you and set up a time. You calling her shows that she has some control over you. She will call once she realizes that you will not. If she doesnt and you still want to contact her, call her in like 2-3 weeks and dont mention the get together. Act like nothing was ever said. Then go back to NC and let her contact you after that. Link to comment
biacd Posted October 20, 2005 Author Share Posted October 20, 2005 it's me and my ex's special day today, should i wish her? ever since i found out that her cell was off, i kept on calling just to check, i dunno what is going wrong with me. how i wish i could have her missing me again, her wanting to get back with me, but it's all out of my control. Link to comment
biacd Posted October 20, 2005 Author Share Posted October 20, 2005 i think u're doing great! There are lots of us(including me) who wishes that this would be happening to us. U should maybe just let it go for a day or two before u reply to her texts, saying sorry and how busy u were. She may probably ask if u wanna meet etc, etc. Hang in there! Patience is the key and i'm learning patience as well =) Link to comment
biacd Posted October 20, 2005 Author Share Posted October 20, 2005 man, i'm not sure if i did the right thing. so we have this class that we had to enrol into, there were 5 different subjects, and we had to choose one. well before we broke up i was intending to enrol in the same class as her. remember in my post, i said she sent me a text about something important? i decided not to enrol in the same class as her for this particular subject, and now im starting to think i made a wrong choice(other classes are still similar). damn! Link to comment
fadedfantasy Posted October 20, 2005 Share Posted October 20, 2005 remained NC for about 4 months.. Somehow broke NC by mistake and went out again. Then went back to NC for another 2 months. Today, I think I may have made a mistake but not sure. I went to his job to pick up a few things and ran into him. We talked. I asked him if he wanted to go out again (I don't know why) and he said yeah and he'll call me tomorrow, im really confused again though. Don't know if I made a mistake or not. We are supposed to be going to a movie this weekend. Im really nervous to be with him again but I miss him so I guess I'll give it one more chance. Link to comment
biacd Posted October 20, 2005 Author Share Posted October 20, 2005 remained NC for about 4 months.. Somehow broke NC by mistake and went out again. Then went back to NC for another 2 months. Today, I think I may have made a mistake but not sure. I went to his job to pick up a few things and ran into him. We talked. I asked him if he wanted to go out again (I don't know why) and he said yeah and he'll call me tomorrow, im really confused again though. Don't know if I made a mistake or not. We are supposed to be going to a movie this weekend. Im really nervous to be with him again but I miss him so I guess I'll give it one more chance. who was the one who initiated the breakup? Link to comment
biacd Posted October 20, 2005 Author Share Posted October 20, 2005 **update** well, stuff happened, and now me and her ended up in the same class for that particular subject. i'm worried. Link to comment
fadedfantasy Posted October 20, 2005 Share Posted October 20, 2005 he initiated the breakup for weird reasons and we have been kind of off and on again for months. But I discovered that he is really really shy and has really poor self esteem. I think thats somthing I can help him on though. Yeah things are cool now though. Link to comment
biacd Posted October 20, 2005 Author Share Posted October 20, 2005 he initiated the breakup for weird reasons and we have been kind of off and on again for months. But I discovered that he is really really shy and has really poor self esteem. I think thats somthing I can help him on though. Yeah things are cool now though. at least ur situation sounds hopeful. good luck to u! Link to comment
Juha Posted October 20, 2005 Share Posted October 20, 2005 NotMySelf I know you are guarding your emotions but you have to realize she is coming back and putting her hand out for you to grab onto and so far you are apprehensive because you do not want to get hurt anymore... Just relax and go with the flow it sounds like she is so into you now.... Just move slow and it seems things will be good, I am so happy for you and her... At the same time I am jealous that I am not having the same thing happening to me with my ex, and probably never will...4 months and nothing much has changed... Link to comment
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