Blackmsmithdave Posted October 17, 2005 Share Posted October 17, 2005 Ok I have been a bit lonely and insecure in the past, so about two years ago i signed up to a variety of online dating sites, the kind with the free adverts but being a student i could never pay for a full subscription so i just waited in hope of having someone contact me. Well its two years on and i have found my confidence, ive kinda moved on and out of the blue i get mail, from a women who has seen my advert (a very cheesy advert i might add) on one of these sites. I got a funny feeling from the start, i mean she is allmost ten years my senoir and she mentioned marriage in the first email. but being fairly laid back i fugured she just had crap people skills, afterall it wasnt a direct proposal just that she was looking for someone to marry and take back to the us with. The second email came and she mentioned marriage again, so i tried to calm her down by saying that i was stil young, im only 20 and my life is just beging, i told her a little about myself and then asked her a few questions and requested a picture. She said she had had a bad experience in the past with men. The third email just came its was a lovely piece of poetry (not including anything that i had asked her) and she finished it off with a declaration of her undying love for me. So the question is should i be telling her to calm down and try to talk some sense into her or should i be running to the hills? Thanx as quick as you can (every second might count) Link to comment
HellFrost666 Posted October 17, 2005 Share Posted October 17, 2005 Run for the hills... she sounds like a psycho. Link to comment
Smarie Posted October 17, 2005 Share Posted October 17, 2005 Well, if that were me, I would run farther than the hills!!!! lol I know some people find love over the internet, but I do find it hard to believe that over the course of a whopping 3 emails she has declared her undying *love* to you. Let me also mention that I am a person that believes in *love at first sight*, but I do not think that people who do fall in love at the first time seeing a random person really know that they are *in love*. All in due time...... Maybe try explaining to her that you have barely gotten to know each other at all and already she is talking about marraige etc etc.... Maybe take a little more time to get to know one another first before you start talking about love. Also, try to get to meet her, too. Some people react differently around people and she might be extremely shy around you, but a totally different person on the phone or in emails. She might be exactly the same....who knows. But I do think she is a little impatient already telling you that she loves you and all. Link to comment
Blackmsmithdave Posted October 17, 2005 Author Share Posted October 17, 2005 yer im a litle scared, i dont like comitment to that extreme a level im a dedicated lover but mariage scares me. Especialy at 20. I will try to talk to her and calm her down but i would love to hear what other people think. Link to comment
Smarie Posted October 17, 2005 Share Posted October 17, 2005 Thats the best suggestion I could give you, Im only 21 so I know exactly how you feel. Thats quite an odd situation though that she would attach to you that quickly. If she doesnt back off somewhat and realize she is jumping the gun, then I would run for the hills. Even if she really does love you and all, if the 2 of you are ever together, you will be stuck in a very contolling relationship. Good Luck to you!!!!!! Link to comment
Blackmsmithdave Posted October 17, 2005 Author Share Posted October 17, 2005 cheers it is scary considering im looking for a committed but pretty relaxed relationship. Well ive got my running shoes on, lol Link to comment
Smarie Posted October 17, 2005 Share Posted October 17, 2005 It is quite possible to find a relationship like that. The majority of women like a man who is going to devote themselves solely to them, and most women do the same. But when someone talks about marraige and love before they might even tell you their name (lol) then that gets a little creepy. Link to comment
Blackmsmithdave Posted October 17, 2005 Author Share Posted October 17, 2005 tell me about, say have you got any kind off experience in this, you seem to know your stuff. you never know i might need back up. Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted October 17, 2005 Share Posted October 17, 2005 So the question is should i be telling her to calm down and try to talk some sense into her or should i be running to the hills? Run for the hills and never look back! afterall it wasnt a direct proposal just that she was looking for someone to marry and take back to the us with Redflag- she has her own agenda- and it has nothing to do with you, as a person. She's just looking for the first warm male body she can get. I wonder how many men got that same "poem" and then split. How fast can you run? Run as if a pitbull was chasing you! BellaDonna Link to comment
Blackmsmithdave Posted October 17, 2005 Author Share Posted October 17, 2005 JESUS CHRIST i just got anout one and oh my god, she is trying to get me to go over to the us, and go to aconfrence as her lover, for love of gods, what the hell! blood and ashes! she says she has mentioned me to her mother and that she is so glad to ahve finally met a loving man, AGHHHHHHHHH im scared im really really scared, help does anyone have a bunker and a shotgun. i need to hide. AAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(very long scream) Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted October 17, 2005 Share Posted October 17, 2005 How much info does she have on you? Block her e-mail address, block her from any messenging programs you have. Remove your profile from that site. Belladonna Link to comment
Smarie Posted October 17, 2005 Share Posted October 17, 2005 tell me about, say have you got any kind off experience in this, you seem to know your stuff. Not really.... In my group of friends, I was always the one that was the counselor for everyone. Kinda have a knack for understanding peoples way of expressing things and how they want to fix it. Try to put myself in their shoes and see how I would deal with the situation. I do the best I can but I didnt go to school for it or anything, so its not a professional opinion, just someones advice who would appreciate the professional paycheck...lol Hope how I see things would help someone out there. Thanks alot, I really appreciate it!!!! Link to comment
Smarie Posted October 17, 2005 Share Posted October 17, 2005 she is trying to get me to go over to the us, help does anyone have a bunker and a shotgun. i need to hide. Even if I did have either one of those 2 things, you would have to come to the U.S. to pick them up from me anyways. She might have a gps signal on you so you might not want to do that!!! roflmao!!!! Link to comment
Blackmsmithdave Posted October 17, 2005 Author Share Posted October 17, 2005 Yer im onto blocking her straight away, she rewminds me of that stalker women who found her favourite author after a car crash and nursed him back to health but then when he wanted to leave she broke his legs, scary stuff. Smarie you are so right dont want to go near her, even if i had you for protection. But I know what you mean about the whole counciling thing im the same allways looking after my mates. I bet you care more about their happiness than they do about their won, and your the one they allways call. Right? Link to comment
Smarie Posted October 17, 2005 Share Posted October 17, 2005 I bet you care more about their happiness than they do about their won, and your the one they allways call. Right? I couldnt have said it better myself!!! Have you ever seen that movie Sleeping With The Enemy? That was a good movie. About a guy that marrys a girl and everything is Obsessive Compulsive clean. She fakes her death and runs away and he hunts her down and ****s her up!!!!! And her new boyfriend!!! Excuse my french but that was a mean movie. Sorta stalker like if you get my drift....lol Link to comment
Blackmsmithdave Posted October 17, 2005 Author Share Posted October 17, 2005 Yer sounds creepy, i will have to whatch it, (like its ok if it not happening to you. lol) I did see this one movie where a womentried to kill her husband with poisen but just brought him to the brikn of death and put him in a coma, his vital were so low they burried him, he came out inside the coffin and had to dig his way out, His wife was rolling in his money so when they went away for a holiday he changed the house, drugged her and her boyfriend when they got back and then set them loss in this kind of labyrith of chipboard tunnels he had made. Relay messed with their heads. Scary movie but they deseved it. Link to comment
Smarie Posted October 17, 2005 Share Posted October 17, 2005 Sounds good, Im a sucker for scary movies. Dare I ask where she lives? You said she wanted to have you come to a conference in the U.S., do you mind me asking where she is from? Im gonna guess and say its down south somewhere. I have my own theory going on........ Link to comment
babycristy456 Posted October 18, 2005 Share Posted October 18, 2005 ahh, I am scared for you lol. But a thought just occurred to me, she might be confusing you for someone else online. (Unlikely, but Im not sure of how the online service works, so it could be). I hope you never gave her your address of any type of info that she might be able to track you down...she sounds like a psycho. Link to comment
Smarie Posted October 18, 2005 Share Posted October 18, 2005 I hope you never gave her your address of any type of info that she might be able to track you down...she sounds like a psycho. EXCELLENT POINT!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment
Cynder Posted October 18, 2005 Share Posted October 18, 2005 I have fallen victim to online stalking, so I really feel for you. My situation was a little different though. This was someone I used to be friends with. (In the real world). He didn't take well to me breaking off the friendship so he harassed me online for nearly a year. The cops were called on two different ocasions, and he was reported to aol and msn for his behavior. I know this is not the same thing. But I know how bad something like this could get. It's good that you are blocking her and she doesn't have info about you. Link to comment
Blackmsmithdave Posted October 18, 2005 Author Share Posted October 18, 2005 damn right she is scary. i told a few friends about it and after they stoped laughing a realised it want a joke then they got kinda worried for me. Just goes to show there are some reall nutters out there. lol Like im a fine one to talk. lol Link to comment
Smarie Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 Just goes to show there are some reall nutters out there. lol Like im a fine one to talk. lol Everyone has to be a little nuts once and a while. If not, how boring would that be!! Some people just take it to a different level and start acting nuts ALL the time. The only problem is, they dont know they are WACKO!! lol Theres nothing wrong with being a little outrageous once and a while, its just that most people know how to meet the status quo of *normal*. I would say online stalking is definitely one of the bars on the low LOW end of the totem pole!! In telling your friends about it, its kinda funny that they laughed at you in a way, but I am happy that they took you seriously after they realized that it was for real. Maybe they can help you find someone to *kill some time with* and get to know. Someone a little more level headed I hope!! Might I suggest erasing your profile on your dating website? lol Or at least ad a part to warn of all the people who wear straight jackets. And dont think that I am kidding either, they do let some of them out for good behavior on the weekends!! They are more than likely bound to cross a computer somewhere!!! J/K....but good luck keeping her away!!! Link to comment
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