Jessika1 Posted October 23, 2005 Author Share Posted October 23, 2005 Man f*ck him!! Im gonna dump him as soon as possible, there are plenty of other hot guys. Im not gonna waste my time on him. Its over! Link to comment
darkblue Posted October 23, 2005 Share Posted October 23, 2005 I hope you are not doing this purely out of spite. Understand that you are doing this for you. You won't be walked on or abused. You are stronger than that. And not simply because he stood you up and you are pissed. Link to comment
Jessika1 Posted October 24, 2005 Author Share Posted October 24, 2005 Me and him were driving around today, and he said that he "loved me" and that it freaked him out because hes never said that to a girl this soon before We've only been dating for a month. What do you guys think? Link to comment
darkblue Posted October 24, 2005 Share Posted October 24, 2005 I think he's leading you on. Link to comment
Miss M Posted October 24, 2005 Share Posted October 24, 2005 Me and him were driving around today, and he said that he "loved me" and that it freaked him out because hes never said that to a girl this soon before We've only been dating for a month. What do you guys think? Well, for those of us women who have been "played" before, this unfortunately, all sounds very familiar. Jessika, he's trying to manipulate you into giving him what he wants. He'd like to continue to exploit you, getting more money out of you, or getting you to stop asking to be repaid for what he has already taken from you. And he'd like to exploit you even more than he already has by getting you to have sex with him. When you became angry and started making demands, standing up for yourself, expressing the possiblity that you would end the relationship, he changed strategies. Now he's giving you the "love" treatment. But he's adding in this idea that he feels vulnerable, so that you will not only feel "loved" by him, but also be sympathetic to him because now he's "freaked out." It's just a way to get your sympathy while he makes you feel "loved." It's a way to get you to let down your guard. It's a way to undermine your resolve. It's a way to get you to stop asking for your money. And it's a way to get you to have sex with him. And if/when you do let down your guard and believe him... if you have sex with him, he will switch back to being the horrible person that he is now trying to make you forget, except he will be much worse. His cruelty towards you will increase. Everything he is doing is fake. Every word he utters is a lie. Abusive men who are trying to get a young girl to give up her virginity always switch from being exploitative to accusatory to being loving and tender. And they do that in any order and with whatever frequency seems the most effective. But the love and tenderness are NOT real, and it is always a STRATEGY, a way to throw you off guard, and has nothing at all to do with love and tenderness. Staying with him is a guaranteed way to get your heart broken into a million pieces. And if you have sex with him he will certainly tell his buddies all about it since he is already discussing it with them before the fact. How will you feel when you are gossiped about it at school? You should stop listening to this creep's lies and get away from him as fast as you can. Link to comment
Jessika1 Posted October 25, 2005 Author Share Posted October 25, 2005 But how can I PLAY HIM? Instead of HIM playing me? What can I do here, so he can get a dose of his own medicine. What you guys are saying is right, but I also want to get somthing out of him, cuz I feel really USED. Link to comment
Jessika1 Posted October 25, 2005 Author Share Posted October 25, 2005 I dont understand why he says he loves me, yet he only called me ONCE today? I mean, if you love a girl dont you think you should call her once. AND I DIDNT EVEN GET TO TALK TO HIM, uh...he gives me way too much stress. This is really hard for me to do. (break up with him) Link to comment
smallworld Posted October 25, 2005 Share Posted October 25, 2005 Jessika, I know you want some kind of revenge, but don't you see? The best revenge is to live happily ever after without him. You saw how he freaked out when you thought you and your money were walking out of his life. What more do you need? I dont understand why he says he loves me, yet he only called me ONCE today? I mean, if you love a girl dont you think you should call her once. AND I DIDNT EVEN GET TO TALK TO HIM, uh...he gives me way too much stress. This is really hard for me to do. (break up with him) Just because someone says "I love you", doesn't mean he a) means it. b) even know what that means c) knows what that means to you. Your best bet is to tell all prospective future bfs that Rule #1 is "If you love Jessika, you must call her more than once a day." The real test of love isn't how strong your feelings are for him, but how well you love and understand each other. Unfortunately Andrew doesn't seem to be doing all that good of a job, does he? Link to comment
Miss M Posted October 25, 2005 Share Posted October 25, 2005 I dont understand why he says he loves me, yet he only called me ONCE today? I mean, if you love a girl dont you think you should call her once. Do you still believe he loves you? I say he doesn't, and his inconsistent behavior proves he doesn't. He's showing you over and over that he doesn't really care about you at all. He takes your money for drugs. He doesn't pay you back. He mocks you for being true to yourself. He discusses your virginity with his buddies. He doesn't call you. I say every time he says he loves you, he's lying. AND I DIDNT EVEN GET TO TALK TO HIM, uh...he gives me way too much stress. This is really hard for me to do. (break up with him) Why do you want to talk to him? What is it you like about him? Link to comment
Jessika1 Posted October 30, 2005 Author Share Posted October 30, 2005 Thanks for the advice I will just ignore him from now on. Thanks Link to comment
darkblue Posted October 30, 2005 Share Posted October 30, 2005 Great. I guarentee you: you will feel like calling him at some points over your recovery. You will question yourself for what you did in breaking up. You will feel low and lonely. But I also guarentee you that there are men out there who will treat you with the respect you deserve. Stay strong. Link to comment
Miss M Posted October 30, 2005 Share Posted October 30, 2005 Good for you, Jessika. And good luck to you. And if/when you do start feeling drawn to him again, come back and read this thread. And if that doesn't work, post here to ask us to remind you why you need to stay away from him. Stay strong, dear. And remember that you're unlikely to ever get a good guy while you're giving all your time and attention to the bad ones. Stay clear of him and his type. Take good care of yourself and put your mind and heart on better things. Link to comment
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