arrgh - she broke NC

[polaris]

Everyone goes through up and down periods in NC, but if you think back to how you were in the first week of NC, you know in your heart that you've made a ton of progress really.

 

Would you have been able to not respond to that text during the first week or two? Doubtful, but now you can, even though it's really given you a jolt. It's not surprising that it's hit you hard, being the first contact for a while; it'll get easier, as either she gets the message and gives up contacting you, or you get used to ignoring her.

 

It's a hard thing to do, and I'm not surprised you've had a rough couple of days since, but it's healing, believe it or not, and you'll be stronger for it. Give yourself a big pat on the back for not responding.

[J a m e s]

i guess this is that down period during NC, but i'm determined to be strong, your strength sibling295 gives me strength

 

i dont feel as bad as i did a couple of days ago, i think more confusion comes into the equation now.

 

i will just concentrate on myself again, and make myself stronger. even i noticed that i was more defensive when chatting to others since i heard from her, its like i clammed up.

 

i will no doubt, for sure be posting my progress here again later and tomorrow. thanks for the replies, it really helps to read others comments and gets me through the day.

[C.C.]

Hi James,

 

Again, I know exactly how you feel. And I can tell you from my experince that by next Monday or Tuesday (a week after) you will be ok.

 

You will have also realized that you can endure and are really strong because you really are!

 

Best wishes,

C.C.

[J a m e s]

well here i am, have a gap at work to let my feelings out.

 

the shock/gut wrenching feeling when i heard contact has gone now, and im starting to feel better...im just starting to really feel that feeling of being alone and thinking my ex is with someone else and is thinking life is rosey.

 

im not ready to move on yet, i think it will happen or even fall into place when it should. i suppose it has really sunken in now that i dont have that person to share my thoughts with, or someone to tell when i do something at work or whatever else.

 

im looking into myself still, to make me a better person and get that happiness i want.

 

cheers for listening.

[J a m e s]

just making a short post, that im just generally feeling down at the moment.

 

feeling alone really

 

 

..had to let it out somewhere

[Leges39]

Yeah, you might want to find out what the letter is in case it's important. But I've heard that many exes like to pull the "it's important" BS with frivilous things just so they can talk to you.

 

I am sorry I did the same thing with some junk mail that I wanted to give back to my ex.....I put more importance into it then there really was. She saw right through it.

[J a m e s]

ARRRGHH HELP!

 

she has text again, i havent read it this time...but i do have it on my phone still. (when i get texts now, cancel the read me bit then look in my inbox)

 

its been just over week since she broke NC for the 2nd time, this is killing me now as i've been having a few bad days this week already

[kellbell]

Just try to stay calm and erase it. She's doing this to see what you are up to. This might happen again. I know this is hard for you but by getting all uspet is still letting her have control over you. Just take a deep breath and try to stay calm. We are here for you.

[J a m e s]

my phone is flat, so i cant even read the message if i wanted.

 

has really freaked me out though, im gonna pull myself together and just delete it and not read. that is gonna be SO HARD though, and to not reply.

 

just this week i've suffered alot feeling alone, and this has tipped me over

 

i still dont understand why she texts me, does she have no feelings, or trying to rub salt in the wounds?!

[J a m e s]

ok

 

i read the text, and it was utter crap. she was just asking how i was as she would like to know now and again if i am ok.

this has upset me, as it seems she is all fine and dandy, wanting to know if im ok "now and again" i feel so angry now, really angry

 

i have deleted it the text, and not replied.

 

i feel better for doing that, NC all the way.

replying is just gonna open a can of worms within myself.

 

lets hope thats the last i hear from her, as im trying so hard to heal and get on. but yet again i have gone backwards it seems, i just seem to be getting punished by her every other week. i start healing, feel better..then BAM she texts or enters my head and my life seems to come tumbling down.

 

i hate this feeling now that i have heard from her and my life feels empty and alone, i wish there was some fix for this feeling as it hurts loads.