advise for all the adults from a teen

[darkblue]

Lots of people don't even consider sex until their later years.

I know someone that never thought of sex until he was 19.

There's nothing wrong with it.

[Amannamederic]

darkblue

Veteran

 

 

 

Gender:

Joined: 22 Apr 2005

Posts: 2329

Location: Glasgow, Scotland.

 

That's where you are wrong. There are little things stopping them; they're called laws.

_________________

Darkblue

 

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Some say we are responsible for those we love.

Others know we are responsible for those who love us.

- Nikki Giovanni

 

not so fast, 18-20 yr. old guys are dating...and yes having sex with 15-16 year old girls all the time.

 

Its a matter of morals on the guy's part IMO

[Amannamederic]

and indeed things have changed maria (not to flame you in the least) i felt the same way as you in Jr. High, anything sexual was just taboo...you never spoke of it, or anything. This was what...4-5 years ago?

 

Now i recently hear of things called "rainbow parties" where girls put on different colored lipstick and see who can go down the farthest on a cute boy.

 

This apalled me, but it woke me up, something is wrong when 13-14 year olds are having contests like this...

 

I can definetly see your point though having experienced feelings like that myself.

[Maria1980]

but it worries me what the world will be like in a few MORE years.. times are changing. and for the worse..

man, I think I will be sending my kids( when I have them) to Church every Sunday hehhe

M

[darkblue]

not so fast, 18-20 yr. old guys are dating...and yes having sex with 15-16 year old girls all the time.

 

Its a matter of morals on the guy's part IMO

 

That's statutory rape.

[Amannamederic]

darkblue Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2005 6:35 pm Post subject:

 

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Amannamederic wrote:

not so fast, 18-20 yr. old guys are dating...and yes having sex with 15-16 year old girls all the time.

 

Its a matter of morals on the guy's part IMO

 

 

That's statutory rape.

 

 

 

yes....yes it is but will that stop them from doing it? nope.

 

I have no desire to hook up with people who could land me in jail and labled an offender for the rest of my life, my point is that saying its the law not to have sex doesn't scare kids for some reason. You know as well as i do that kids think they are invincible.

 

Maria1980 Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2005 5:47 pm Post subject:

 

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but it worries me what the world will be like in a few MORE years.. times are changing. and for the worse..

man, I think I will be sending my kids( when I have them) to Church every Sunday hehhe

M

 

heh, i lost my virginity to a devout christian, we are talking church every sunday, youth group every sunday night, loves her family more than life, did everything with her parents...even invited them to hang out with her friends.

 

All girl boarding school for my daughter!

 

jk 8)

[darkblue]

yes....yes it is but will that stop them from doing it? nope.

 

I have no desire to hook up with people who could land me in jail and labled an offender for the rest of my life, my point is that saying its the law not to have sex doesn't scare kids for some reason. You know as well as i do that kids think they are invincible

 

Yes, they do. And that's why I, and many other posters, try and warn these 'kids' of the trouble they may get themselves into.

[Amannamederic]

i know thats what you are trying to do, i feel so old saying this but...

 

there has gotta be a way outside of witnessing it happen to one of their friends (I.e a friend of mine getting raped recently, another friend taking care of her baby daughter that turns 1 soon i think...shes 17, an ex girlfriend of mine getting an abortion and referring to the baby as a "free pass" to have sex, alot of friends falling victim to chlymidia, herpes, etc. even one with an HIV scare...that friend i mentioned in another post who was accused of rape when the girl decided shed rather not have people know she willingly hooked up with him) to make them realize that this stuff is serious...even though this is technically coming from a 'kid' i feel the same way you do, however, im also familiar with the feelings of invincibility younger people tend to have.

[combat_barbie]

Just a comment...Lets all go take a trip back to reality land. The age of consent law is enforced jsut abotu as well as the law the says downlaoding is illegal. As in it isn't! If it consentual they aren't exactly going to turn themselves in. If I lived in the united states not Canada where the age of consent is 14 or something liekt hat. According to that chart the DarkBlue posted I would have been statuatory raped between 2, states witht eh age of consent at 16, and 7 times(and counting turn 18 in november), with the age of consent at 18. When I was 16 I started going out with a guy that was 24, but I have a fake ID so I was out with friends so its not liek he sought me out. It wasn't weird it wasn't rape we broke up because he was really boring. Lets be real thats not completely atypical. I would say at least a good third of the people in the united states have violated the age of consent.

 

Please we don't need to tell people they will get pregnant and get STDs in every post! When they ask what are the risks sure but not every thread.

[TheVindicator]

I think the major idea of this thread was to get the message accross that those seeking friendly advice are not looking for a lecture; and that a lot of the 'advice' offered is condescending

[Kitz]

I think the major idea of this thread was to get the message accross that those seeking friendly advice are not looking for a lecture; and that a lot of the 'advice' offered is condescending

 

Lmao. 4 pages... yet it can all be packed into that simple little sentence.

 

(in other words, i agree XD)

[slayer]

I think the major idea of this thread was to get the message accross that those seeking friendly advice are not looking for a lecture; and that a lot of the 'advice' offered is condescending

 

thank you

[melrich]

I think the major idea of this thread was to get the message accross that those seeking friendly advice are not looking for a lecture; and that a lot of the 'advice' offered is condescending

 

Exactly Vindicator. Well said...sometimes I wonder how these threads lose sight of such simple messages.

 

Slayer i totally agree with your sentiment and that many of the "advice" posts on here are far too judgemental. Often "adults" are far more interested in the sound of their own voice that what they are actually saying.

 

Quoting the law and moral issues to teenagers is counter productive. What we should be doing is providing information that allows teenagers to make their own informed decisions.

 

I'm sorry your very excellent post got somewhat mired.

[darkblue]

Milrich,

I see where you are coming from, but I think some teens aren't fully aware of what they could be getting themselves into.

 

And as for your "give them the advice they ask for" attitude:

Recently there was a poster who wanted to know "how much blood he would have to lose before dying".

Should we have done our best to tell him?

[qpmomma]

As adults it is our responsiblity to warn teens about the costs of having sex. I don't think we should do it in a "holier-than-thou" kind of way either.

 

I was lucky enough to have a mother who I could talk to about anything, inluding sex. And she always gave me an honest answer. That's OUR responsiblility. We arn't here to suger coat the truth.

 

I also know some teens are going to have sex no matter what adults say. So, again, it's our responsibility to give the correct information regarding protection and the dangers/risks.

 

Do I think it's wrong for teens to have sex? It doesn't matter. They are going to do it no matter what I think. So, I want to make sure I'm being responsible. I don't want a 16 year old end up pregnant b/c I didn't warn her about the costs of sex.

 

Simply put, we are going to give you honest answers. If you don't like it, don't post.

 

Christina

[melrich]

Recently there was a poster who wanted to know "how much blood he would have to lose before dying".

Should we have done our best to tell him?

 

No. I recently had a member ask how many asprin it would take to kill you. My advice was nobody could answer that over the internet as everybody's physiology can potentially react differently to drugs and that he would need to consult with a doctor.

 

That is giving them information with no judgement.

 

As to the situation you were faced with, "How much blood...etc" a similar response would be appropriate. That it is impossible to advise as it depends on so many issues...the temperature, the state of mind of the individual, the health of the individual etc. And that they should seek professional assistance. If you are unsure how to respond it is best not to respond is the rule I try to live by.

[slayer]

I think the major idea of this thread was to get the message accross that those seeking friendly advice are not looking for a lecture; and that a lot of the 'advice' offered is condescending

 

Exactly Vindicator. Well said...sometimes I wonder how these threads lose sight of such simple messages.

 

Slayer i totally agree with your sentiment and that many of the "advice" posts on here are far too judgemental. Often "adults" are far more interested in the sound of their own voice that what they are actually saying.

 

Quoting the law and moral issues to teenagers is counter productive. What we should be doing is providing information that allows teenagers to make their own informed decisions.

once again, thank you. I dont really mind that this thread got kinda weird, its others opinions i guess.

I'm sorry your very excellent post got somewhat mired.