friends with benefits

[WArrior458]

Here i go again bak to the same Dilema .

I write here not only to ask for others opinions but to express myself..

 

This is the story i will make the begin part as simple, but anyways i a have this ex that now is a friend with benefits, but see he is going to school (uneversity ) and has no time for a relationship.. we did break up b4 for the same reason we we're just boyfriend and girlfriend but anyways that only lasted for a few months like a fling.. but than he came bak and we had our flings a few times and now i really feel so bad because that's all he wanted me for and i fell for his lame games.

 

In the beginning he had said that he is a virgin and a a few weeks after i think i divirginzed him ( at least that's wat i think), that's one of his lies and God know's wat other lies he had in mind..

 

But has any one ever felt used or really bad for actually falling for their games? i tried to tell him it's over i am going to move on but it sems like i can't iam so weak, i end up text him or even calling him...

 

well today we had a converstion and he told me something that felt like arrows just went through my chest he told me first that if i know anyone else( guy) that is more reliable than him than i should go with him and be his girlfriend.. that killed me cuz it made me think/feel as though he doesn't care for me and doesn't want to be with me, so that's one thing that made me feel hurt...

 

I don't know i feel so hurt, i don't understand ...I mean iam not the type of girl who goes around sleeping with others for the fun of it , he was my ex and we did have a relationship, he even told me from the beginging that when school starts again than it will be different and we would see eachother less than ever like once or twice a month but i never believed him ti'll now.

 

have you ever felt sooooo bad and feelt shame about doing something that u shouldn't have done, and you keep beating yourself about it for more than a few hours? we'll that's how iam feeling right now just beating myself thinking " iam so dumb, how can i have done that, and blah blah blah..so irrogant" and shake me head from right to left!!!

 

We'll iam so mad cuz whenver we make plans it never works see him and his dad share the car and lot's of time his dad has taken the car especially when it's both of us to go out and this happen 3 times and iam tired of it so i sent him a text message saying that i have made up my mind and that i decided to move on because it isn't working out or either that he's lying to make up excuses not to see and i had enough..but the guy txt me bak saying not to be mad and to let me know that he was looking forward to seeing me and wanting to spend some time with me...

 

See it's s&*% like that , that i believe and fall for his games!!!

 

i need some feed bak here please

[sweetheart230]

Don't fall for his games. I went through a very similar experience. Very similar. I believed it. I ended up getting really hurt in the end. My gut said don't trust him, don't fall for it, just end it and find a good man who will treat me well. But I really wanted to believe him. So I did.

 

I'm not saying he is playing games. But it is likely he is. I fell for it. I made excuses for him. I wound up getting very very hurt in the process. Just move on and find a guy who will follow through.

[passions1]

Speaking of the friends with benefits. I actually had an ex, who had a friends with benefits girl, then he met me. So he broke it off with the girl, obviously she was more into him & he viewed it as something physical only. So if you keep in mind, that he is just using you until something better comes along with him, you're simply blinding yourself with his words.

Also speaking from a person who has in the past I've had an experience when a guy was my friends with benefits. For me as well, I was able to separate the physical from the mental involving sex.

 

Be strong & have self-respect for yourself. Don't be afraid to let go of your ex even though you 2 have know e/o for awhile. Date other men who will treat you the way you want to be treated & then the sex can be even better & special with that special guy.

[WArrior458]

i guess you guys are right, most of the times my mind is telling meto just forget about him and move but tend to ingore it.

 

but this time iam so tired of it all,, i am so mad that i feel like just calling or even seeing him in perosn and screaming at him for usisng me and trying to play with my mind ,but that's not going to help or even change situations..Iguess i got to just Deal with it..

 

I tried to keep it just simple with out any emotions getting involved, but hey i guess iam not that type of girl..

 

i feel like txt messaging him bak and telling him "i don't believe him, it's over and done with, and iam dead serious!!" ... i know i should just not and just let him be..

 

Does anyone know any self healing methods? this is my second heart brake and my first took me forever to get over like 3 yrs this time i don't want it to be taking that long either, my last heart break was pretty bad it's such a messed up situation....than ever since it took me like 3 yrs to fall again and now that i have fallen for somene else it feels like it's starting again in circles.. i keep choosing the wrong people..

 

what you guys think i should do tell him is a lying bastard ans so on or should i just forget it ????

[Itsok]

Awh dear, I'm so sorry. I know that what you are feeling right now is mostly anger at yourself for 'falling for his games.' You know what though? There's not a soul on Earth who doesn't want to believe someone they love genuinely loves them in return. Believing in someone else doesn't make you a fool. Just next time be more careful about who you pour your affections and love into, that's all.

 

I've done some really stupid things in my life that i am still ashamed of now and will never tell a soul about. Regret is an awful thing, don't wallow in it. Realize that you made the best decision you could at the time, and there's nothing you can do about it now, so don't fret.

 

As for getting over him, there are many really good sites to go to online.

Just search for "break up" on google and you'll drown in all of them.

 

I recommend using a journal to express yourself, it really does work. Expect you will feel upset and probably cry a great deal in the next while, that's normal. There's nothing wrong with you. Allow yourself to grieve, and be angry. It will be ok!

 

Overall, realize this is only a lesson in life, and eventually the right one will come to you.

 

It will be ok