what game is he playing?

[teacup]

this guy calls me up on the phone and we talk. he tells me he wants to take me out on a date, he wants to take me this place or that place, but he doesnt follow through. he doesnt set a place or a time. (i suppose he could be busy working, i used to work at the same company and i used to put in 70+ hours a week and had the cycle of work, sleep, work, sleep everyday)

 

today, we were supposed to go out to lunch, i was supposed to drive to the parking lot to meet him. he said he would call me in the morning. i said, "if you don't call, i dont have to go right?" and he said yeah. and i said alright. and he didnt call this morning.

 

he's called me before and let the phone hang up after 1-2 rings. then i hit the redial button to call him back. but he says it's because I dont pick up.

he hints at all these things but there's no action to back it up.

 

i am

1. pissed off

2. feel like im being jerked around

3. wonder if there is some game being played

4. he leaves me hanging

5. wonder if it's just sex he's after and that's why he makes it appear after if he's contacting me but then doesnt follow through.

6. find all of this disrespectful

7. dont know what it is he's pulling or playing or if he's just wishy washy

 

what do you guys think? am i being harsh or paranoid? is something really going on here or am i just imagining it?

 

next time the only thing i want to say is "no."

i dont want to give an explanation or an accounting or anything. i simply want to say "no", put my foot down and stand up for myself.

i dont want to play this game or to be treated in this manner. i dont care what the excuse is. i dont even know him that well and im already suspicious. is there a game here and what is it?

[hot_to_trot]

Sounds like he has control issues. Stay away from this guy, and be thankful that you haven't gotten into a relationship with him!

[teacup]

control issues? can you explain?

[Scout]

Listen to what your gut instinct is telling you loudly and clearly: you are being jerked around. Like I told another poster with the same problem, what's likely happening here is he is dating other people he's more interested in, but keeping you on a string "just in case."

 

Lose his number. When a guy is truly interested, he doesn't jerk a girl around because he knows damn well he'll blow his chance with her.

[suprema99]

Yeah I agree there's a pretty good chance he's jerking you around. The ony thing I noticed was you said, If you don't call, I don't have to go right? That totally sounds like your not wanting to go. Maybe he took that the wrong way, if you said that in those words. As for the phone thing. Phone games are easy to spot. If you even questioned that , why don't you just let it ring. The next time he hangs up on 2 rings, you know he's playing now. He's aware now. Already your relatioship is headed for doom. Give the benefit of the doubt though until you know for sure. goodluck

[teacup]

yeah, i did say it in those words.

 

i thought he was a cool guy, until he started doing this.

 

what could be the purpose of his game? why would he want to do this to a girl he barely knows? why flatter me with the "you're sexy", "you dress cute"? why would he jerk me around when i barely know him?

 

should i call him and confront him? i am so upset.

[suprema99]

Hey teacup. I wouldn't confront him. It shows him it bothers you. And he will do it more. He's a player no doubt. For my own sake, if you called me back after I phoned you, it would show me you care enough, and vice versa. I personally, think as a guy, telling you, you have to answer in 2 rings is nonsense and childish.

[teacup]

what if he calls?

 

can i tell him to cut the crap if i happen to get the phone?

 

god, this is so lame and immature. ugh, im pissed off and it is so digusting.

[suprema99]

Hey teacup, do you always answer his phonecalls by chance? Dou you always abide by his 2 ring rule? If you do, like I said your headed for trouble. There's alot of ways you can counteract it , but it's not worth it if you feel your getting jerked around. goodluck

[Puddin]

Playing or not, if he can't follow through on his commitments, I personally don't see him as dating material anyway. Busy or not, common courtesy would have dictated that he call EVEN if he couldnt make it.

 

I'm pretty big on communication and if someone can't go there from the get go, what's the point. Remember, people are usually on their best behavior in the beginning... this is as good as he's going to get

[teacup]

wow...that is a good point. how sad, this is as good as he gets.

 

UGH. do you suppose it's my fault in anyway that he would treat me like this?

[rachelb]

Teacup, I am in exactly the same situation! We had a great first date and now he's just been texting me hinting at plans but never following through and I'm really sick of it too. From all the advice I've gotten, he's definitely playing games and jerking you around. A real guy that's decent and is really after you should be calling you for a date, wanting to see you all the time and thus, making plans with you. What Scout said is really true. Well that's what I figured from my situation and I've decided to just be "friends" with my guy and spend my time with someone that's more worthwhile.

 

It hurts because there seemed to be so much potential, but yeah, it's as good as it gets because if he's like that during courtship, then imagine what he's gonna be like if you were really in a r'ship and always wondering whether he'll come through for you ...

[Msnak]

Good grief, everything I'm reading here could apply to me! You're all right in saying, if it's this bad not, it could be more of the same, or worse!

 

I swear, the head can see things clearly, but the heart can muddle things up!