After 3 months in love the ex comes back to town

[Puzzledasanewbornchild]

I'm really in need of help, and urgently. On Friday my gf of three months' ex boyfriend came to town. Her mother invited him to stay AT THE HOUSE knowing that she had a new boyfriend who she loves. He had mistreated her throughout their relationship and I am nothing but good to her, treating her too well while she talked to her ex on the phone (everyday) and treated me terribly. She would always say that I'd never understand what they had together, and that even though he kicked her out of his house so she had to move back here, she still loves him. She said she loved him unconditionally, as he cheated on her and forgot her birthdays. I've realized I'd be better off alone than to be mistreated like this, but I love this girl so much I can't let her go. On Saturday she called me saying she just wanted to be friends with me, but this morning, Sunday, she calls saying she loves me. Yesterday was the worst day of my life. I couldn't stop crying. I don't know whether she slept with her ex or not, but I don't think I can ask her if she did. And she promised she wouldn't. If I ask her she'll say I don't trust her, If I just let her back into my life, I'll continue to be mistreated. I don't know how to mistreat her and get her to still stay with me. I could say to her that I won't stand for being treated like this, that I'd rather be alone than to let her treat me like this. But then she might leave me, and I don't know if I'm willing to take the chance. But I'm not willing to easily let her back into my life, for she'll just continue to mistreat me, thinking its ok. And I'm not willing to be her bf just until her ex stops screwing around and wants her back. I want her to love me like I love her: is this even possible? She knows I want to be with her, and her ex says he doesn't want to be with her, and she thinks she will be able to forget me if she goes with him but that she won't be able to forget him if she goes with me. Is this relationship over? But he lives far away and she lives here and neither of them can move right now, for at least 2 years. But I'll always doubt that she was faithful if I never ask her, and I don't think I can marry someone I don't really trust. If we had been together longer maybe I could've trusted her more over this weekend, but her mother invited him to stay over this past weekend. He leaves in two hours and she wants to come over and see me. What should I do? Please help.[/i]

[HajiMaji]

Ok man. Lets do this.

 

First things first.. Breathe!!! Your feelin crazy right now, I know where you are coming from. It can be heartbreaking and you feel all over the place. Im pretty sure my first post was exactly like this one.

 

Now. Were gonna have to take some time and organize some of your thoughts, cause right now they are all over the place. Yes, your gf mistreated you. Yes, if you were to consider staying with her youd have to ask about sleeping with that guy. Additionally, you would have to find out if she wants you in a relationship.

 

It hurts that she is more attatched to this guy then shes to you. Some people are more attatched to alchohal then thier children. Its a sad thing, but we have to be strong and find those people who love us like nuts.

 

You are torn up right now. Seeing her right now might hurt a lot. It probably wont make anything better but it might get some of your questions answered. I really feel for you bro. This is what love gets us sometimes.

 

The main issue here has to do with her and how she hasnt gotten past her old boyfriend. Theres not much you can do about that. And, its ok to feel like crap and cry man. Its happened to the best of us.

[RandomAdvisor]

Dump her and go to NC.

 

She clearly isn't over her ex, and it's never a good idea to beome seriously involved with someone who is not yet over their previous partner. You are the rebound relationship for her, and she has treated you poorly. She would be right to say you don't trust her if you asked if she had sex with him. You don't trust her. But you know what else? You shouldn't. She isn't acting like she's worthy of trust.

 

If she wants to be one of those girls who gets all hung up over a jerk who treated her like trash: more power to her. There's no good reason why you should waste your time trying to work things out with her when she's still focused on this other loser.

 

Tell her you think it's best if you two don't see each other anymore, and that you don't want to speak to her again. Be firm about NC. This girl is nothing but trouble right now, and there are way too many other girls out there to risk becoming involved with her again in the future.

[heloladies21]

You're the only one who can stick up for yourself. You see everything that's going on, she's not serious about you. It's only a matter of time before you finally decide to let go.

[TRAUMA]

why get involved with someone you cannot trust??..forgetabouther!!life's too short for insecurities!..