Trust Issues Due to Past Experience

[lavender]

Hi everyone,

 

3 months after the breakup of my 6 years relationship with my ex, I went out with an old friend for a drink. He was a good friend during my college years and we have not met each other since our graduation 2 years back. For the last 2 years, he always contacted me on the phone an asked me out regularly although he knew i was in a relationship at the moment. Although i liked him a lot as a friend, i never actually went out with him coz i didn't want to betray my ex - a little bit orthodox there but that;s who i am.

 

3 months after the breakup, he texted me and ask me to accompany him for a drink. Found out later that he just got dumped by her ex and needed someone to talk to. We talked and catch up on old stories, later he keeps calling me every nite. He was my confidante at that moment coz I was going thru some tought patches after the break up. He was a very good listener. We got to know each other better; he turned out to be such a nice guy- sensitive, loving, responsible...he was everything i wanted in a boyfriend!!!

 

Later he confessed that he has always liked me but wouldn't dare to make his move coz i was in a relationship and he was also in a relationship during that moment. The thing is, he had this history of mistreating his ex gf. During the college years he was always over friendly with girls and that has caused his breakup with his gf then. He even confessed to me that he used to have 3 gf in one time during highschool !!

 

But now...he claimed that he has changed for good. He's more matured now and know what he wants out of life. I feel like i could trust him. I have all these butterflies when i'm with him. He has all the qualities that i want in a bf! Should i trust him????

[single4good]

He tried to ask you out knowing you had a b/f and he is such a nice guy? Obviously I dont know your situation very well but from my perspective this guy sounds like a typical shark...only worried when his next feed will be. Just convenient he called you up when he broke up with his ex eh. Sorry if I sound rude but he sounds like a player to me.

[Beec]

Look, you are going in with your eyes open. You know his faults, watch out for them and take it slow.

[ImissBry]

If you have enough doubts (as to whether or not you can trust him) that you need to solicit advice, you've pretty much answered your own question. Some people are just not designed to be with one person and one person only. There are also "serial daters" who are simply co-dependant and will hook up with people that they aren't fully compatable with just to avoid being alone. Serial daters will seem perfect, at first, but later on you'll realize that they have just modified themselves to hook up with you. (Trust me on this; I was a serial dater.) As they say, trust is the most important thing in a relationship, and I think if you're totally honest with yourself, you don't trust this guy. Find a new fish, and good luck with that.