I really need advice, ancient topic!

[SuperDuper]

Hey everyone, please reply to this because I need some advice.

 

Anyways, Most of my story has been sent to people through PM's, but my ex and I are on really good terms now, and yesterday was my 16th birthday. The past few days we've talked to each other everyday at school and occasionally on MSN.

 

Yesterday she came up to me at school and gave me a birthday card saying "have a great day" and she drew a heart, and a smiley face inside.

Then at the bottom it said, "PS- when you can drive, pick us up!" (her and her friend)

 

The thing is that she has a boyfriend, but they're not serious at all, they don't hold hands or anything at school, and he's a year younger than her..(he's in grade 9). Supposedly they don't like each other that much, and my ex has told one of her friends that she really likes me, but doesn't want to do anything yet, and wants it to come on its own.

 

Here's the thing, she occasionally wears the ring I gave to her, but takes it off sometimes because she doens't want her boyfriend to see it. I also had a party last weekend and she came to it and ended up staying the night and sleeping in my parents bed, which is cool because my parents love her.

(Oh yeah... it was her 1 month anniversary with her bf when she spent the night, hahaha)

 

Also, last night when I talked to her on MSN she asked if I was coming to her volleyball game after school today, which I came to for 45 minutes or so.

 

I know she has a boyfriend, but what's the best route to take to get back with her? We had such a great relationship, and I think she is starting to realize what she had. My family loves her, and hers loves me.. and we were great together and everyone thinks so, so it's tough.

 

Any ideas of what I can do to increase my chances, maybe.. thanks.

[heloladies21]

Nothing you can do. If she liked you more than her bf she'd be with you right now. Nothing you've said tells me she wants to try with you again.

[melrich]

Well i agree with the other poster, you can't make her go out with you. She has to want to. So you just have to be yourself. Allow her to come to you, which she will if she likes you.

 

I get the sense from your post though that she is around 16 years old, having fun, enjoying life and not taking anything too seriously. I think you may be more into a serious relationship than she is and that is probably putting her off. Try and lighten up a bit.

[RayKay]

Hey SuperDuper

 

I basically agree with much of what the posters above have said. I think you will find that in the next few years, there will often be cases where you are just on different wavelengths from one another - when you are interested in someone, they are not ready/interested and vice versa.

 

One thing that jumps out, is if she really wanted to be with you is she would be, especially if she is with someone she does not like all that much (why is she with him then???). I think she also has to realize that things won't "come on their own" without her doing anything like leaving her boyfriend..lol.

 

I think she does have some feelings for you, from her actions and behaviour around you and with you - HOWEVER, she IS with someone. And it's never too early for you to learn that when someone is involved with someone, it's just "hands off" for you. Do not get in the middle of a mess like that. If she were to break up with him, I see every potential that she is indeed interested, but nothing is going to happen while she is with him...right?

[SuperDuper]

I agree, to the fullest extent.

That's basically what I was wanting to hear, but I am still wondering what I should be doing.

 

Tonight is our first dance of the year, and her boyfriend isn't coming until the last half hour because of hockey or something.

So I think i'll ask her for the first dance.. the thing is, there's this guy who is sort of my friend, but he REALLY gets on my nerves.

 

He's the type of guy that would take your girlfriend from you, if he found out she likes him.. Last night, he supposedly said to my ex, "I guess we can't make out at the dance" and she was like.. "ummm no..got to go, bye".

 

But at the dance he'll be all over her, and it's annoying.

 

I am just wondering what's the best route to take, and I don't mean how to steal her back, but I mean what's the best route to take to increase my chances, I guess.

 

Thanks.

[ImissBry]

This girl sounds confused. If you ask me, you need to let go of any hope that the two of you will get back together. If she's treating her current boyfriend so callously, how do you think she will treat you? And if she really didn't like him that much, she wouldn't be with him. My guess is that she is starving for attention and keeps you on a string because you provide her with just that. Stop letting this girl play with your emotions; you're only going to get hurt. If I were you I would ask for that ring back, but that's just me. Remember, you're still young and you have the rest of your life to find someone who will actually put your wants and needs first. Don't settle for anything less.