Need advice! Am tired of being used and mistreated

[JustineDuck]

To make a long story short, I dated this guy from work for a month. We hang out with the same people (from time to time), and then a month later he broke it off with me telling me he didn't have time for me and couldn't give me what I wanted...he got burned 3 yrs ago from an ex and isn't over it. After that night, we've been on and off and sometimes he's really sweet when I'm ALONE with him and he kisses me and wants to hold my hand...but he never ever calls me to do anything or just to talk. He'll talk to me only when we see one another at work (once a week) and if he doesn;t have a ride home, he;ll ask me for one or we'll go out with coworkers and after a few drinks, he's all over me and wants to take me home, and says,"Why do you do this to me? You make me want you and want to kiss you."

 

So as you can see, I'm just fed up with his behavior, but I am soooooo utterly attached to him and still like him and want to be with him. I even make up excuses when I see him or during the week to call and ask him things or to borrow things so I can see him. I swear it's an obssession at times and I think of him 20 times if not more a day. Bad part...we're going to a concert together - out of town - in November.

 

I don't know what to do or why he acts like my boyfriend, being sweet and cuddly, but then doesn't call me or want to be with me all the time, or rather exclusively.

 

I need advice...please help!

[dodgetrucks]

Well I have sort of had the same thing happen to me in the past of course with a g/f. One thing I have noticed about girls and not to say this is everygirl but just what I ahve noticed in general is that the harder a guy tries to blow them off or not be with them the more the girl wants him, I really have not figured out why but also the majority of the time the guy also treats them like crap. If I was you dont make the attempt to get hold of him make him want you, if you call all the time ect. he knows that you want him and he will just try and make it harder on you and make you want him more. And I know that is is hard as hell not picking up that phone, trust me I have been there several times before, but if you dont change or turn the tables its never going to get better. You need to think to yourself if you want to pursure this relationship and set down some groundrules and if it dont work out like you want it to go find you someone else that is worthy of your time.

[eddie500]

Well I have sort of had the same thing happen to me in the past of course with a g/f. One thing I have noticed about girls and not to say this is everygirl but just what I ahve noticed in general is that the harder a guy tries to blow them off or not be with them the more the girl wants him, I really have not figured out why but also the majority of the time the guy also treats them like crap. quote]

 

This usually happens when the guy is above the girls league.

[JustineDuck]

What do you mean by "above" the girls league? Like he's better than her or higher up? Or did you mean "out" of the girls league?

[dodgetrucks]

I havent firgured that out either I look at it as being equal

[eddie500]

above the girls league means, The guy can attract females who are prettier then the girl that he is above.

 

Like an extreme example is I could never date cameron diaz, and she is clearly above my league.

 

A lot of people don't agree with this league stuff, but I see it all the time and its there. LIke most guys just know the girls in their league and would not bother to go to the hottest chick, becuase they would never stand a chace.

 

Of course there are always exceptions to this case, especially when dealing with cross-cultural relationships