I didnt really know where to put this

[HajiMaji]

But a few things are on my mind. I just got a reply from an ex who mentioned she was celebrating her 1 year anniversary with her boyfriend. That means she started dating him a few weeks after our break up.

 

Me and my ex were very close. Before the break up she would say how she is probably gonna mary me. So, this leads me to my question.

 

Was I not that special of a person to her? Did she not really care for me like she had said? I guess it just makes me think that if she could find a long term boyfriend so soon after our break then deep down i couldnt have been that much to her.

 

I realize these are sort of insecure questions. I am not sad or depressed about hearing from my ex, I guess its just that I always thought of myself as a great person to her and its a little shot for the ego i guess.

 

How do I find the definate closure, where I would no longer ask any of these questions?

 

Thanks in advance.

[Soulfully]

My question is, why is she sending YOU messages about her one-year relationship celebration?

 

I believe she did have feelings for you when she was with you, but love is a strong and very misused word.

 

Its normal that hearing this kind of news will be "hurt your ego". But try not to dig a deeper hole than it really is.

 

Definite closure? Only you know, and only you can. Give it time, let the feelings and questions come and go, come and go... they will gradually fade away. But I would definitely recommend the famous NC - all the way. So forget about calls, messages etc... nada! NC is not the answer to everything... but it damn well helps.

 

Peace.

[HajiMaji]

Man, i hear ya.

 

I guess Im just a little confused.

[acuraman]

People change over time, and sometimes they're feelings change as well. There is nothing you can do about it now, but just accept the facts and move on and do NC on her. She seems like she is trying to make you jealous or hurt you. Don't let her do that to you, cut out all contacts.

 

When she said that she cared for you back then, she probably meant it, but like I said, people and feelings change. There are probably a million reasons why, but pondering about it now will get you nowhere. So stop torturing yourself over someone that hurt you and realize its for the best.

[Jaela]

I'm sure at one point she did care very deeply, especially if she was bringing up marriage with you. But, as mentioned, people change, feelings change... I don't think you did anything wrong at all. You and your ex were just not meant to be, that's all. Wish her the best, and cut off contact. Somewhere out there is a really great gal waiting for you. Don't let self doubt consume you. You deserve the best. And you'll only find closure within yourself, as much as it sucks to say. Time will eventually heal and you'll find peace with the situation. And some day you will think in your mind (taken from another thread on this forum) ... "Frankly my dear, I really don't give a damn!"