what the -- is he thinking?!

[swimchick03]

OK, the guy I like says he likes me. He tells his cuz he likes me, (his cuz is a life guard where I swim..she knows I like him so of course being as cool az she iz..she told me) she tells me, and so we r both familiar w/liking each other. He is always doing little things like hugging me and keeping little things I leave around in his wallet, ect. ect.

Well..when we first met there was mention of a girlfriend..but after we started talking, she "diappeared". Well, I figure..he broke ^ w/her.

Well, he is gone @ camp, and his best friend, Caleb (he's my bud, 2) got to talking, and I mentioned his (I thought) old g/f in passing. Well, he told me that he still talks to her online all the time...he doesnt know her, b/c she's his ONLINE g/f! And IM thinking..is he choosing someone who could be not real over me? I havent mentioned it to him yet, but when he gets back, I have to know. Ive already started detaching myself, b/c my past has sucked so bad. How should I bring it up and what is he THINKING?! and is it a good idea for me to be detaching this fast??

 

Thanx,

Swimchick03

[segagirl]

Well a few things. First, I don't think an online girlfriend is much competition. If you really like him, you can do way more to get his attention than she can. I mean you are standing in front of him. But be sure he knows you are interested.

And second, I have been told you can develop real feelings online...but, if they never see each other, nor do they plan to ..then again...I would not worry too much. Don't even mention it yet. If you start dating then yes, I would let him know what you are comfortable with in regards to him continuing to talk to her. But right now, it's not really your right to question him.

[dfcannon]

Yes, real feelings can definitely be developed online, but the longer it remains online, the harder it will be for them to transition into a real relationship, because essentially it's a romance in their minds. It's too early to tell him her or me, but before you become bf/gf, you have every right to talk to him about her. She is going to take up some of the emotional space that you occupy, if you want to be steady bf/gf. If you just want to date other people too, then it's fine, but that does not appear to be the case. So, personally, I don't like this online relationship as it relates to your interests, fwiw.

[eblue]

Okay hun. First off, did he say he is picking you over this girl? Another one, as much as I would like to say that online dating isn't much compared to reality dating...i can't. As much as I would like to say this internet girlfriend isn't much compitition, I can't.

 

I had a boyfriend over the internet. I knew people who knew him and thats how I began chatting with him over AIM. They went to high school with him before coming to college. He lived eight hours from where I was at school. I lacked all common sense after a few weeks after talking to him and became so wrapped up over him before I even got to meet him. So much that I almost lost out on this guy I liked.

 

I had a crush on one of my friends who I had a feeling liked me, but I thought it might ruin the friendship. Then all of the sudden this internet guy dropped down and viola. I totally forgot about the feelings for my friend and I thought this internet relationship was something deep and romantic when it really wasn't. Summer came and I went down to where I am from for break. He lived two hours away, so I finally got to meet him and spend some time with him. I fell real hard then. However, my friend and crush was near by. He would always go out of his way for me, was absolutely sweet, and everything I ever really wanted in a guy, but I never took the time to notice he had these. Plus, he lived right by me and even accross the hall from me at school. Dating him, I would have someone physically there to talk to me and cuddle with. Unlike internet boy who was just words off of a computer screen and an occasional cold telephone with a voice without a face infront of me. So I dumped the internet guy for my friend. There is alot more to this like the internet guy moving to be closer to me and proposing, but I feel that is totally missing the point on the story. The point is...

 

Don't judge the poor guy too much. Be there for him when he comes back and try to have real fun with him. Show him that you are wonderful to be around and that you are AROUND. Not an internet. You are a body to hug with a voice. Not just words off of a computer. When you think the time is right, tell him how you feel. Tell him that you like him and that you know he has an internet girly, but you feel you can treat him much better and can be here for him physically..and that she can't. If he is smart...he will eventually see the light and go straight for you good luck...

[dfcannon]

Well said, eblue. I completely agree with you.