Faking Confidence... Guy's and Girl's please reply.

[ImBurningStar]

I made a post yesterday concerning some confidence issues of mine and trouble in my love life. I had been suggested a few times to fake confindence. I guess what I am getting at is, How do you fake having confidence???????? If you can just fake it then aren't you pretty much confident to begin with???

 

My biggest problem with meeting people is that I become shy when I try to start a conversation with someone. I become very nervous and then my mind goes blank and I don't know what to say... and then I ususaly end up making a fool out of myself by blurting out something idiotic that I would never say if I was thinking staight. I always end up in very uncomfortable silences.

 

So can anyone please tell me:

 

How do you fake confidence???

 

Guy's how do you initiate conversations with girls??? What do you talk about to keep things interesting and make her interested in you???

 

Girl's what do you like to talk about when a guy approaches you or you approach a guy??? What keep's it interesting for you and possibly makes you interested in someone?

[darkblue]

If you hang around with girls that you have something in common with - you have the advantage of knowing what to talk about, being able to talk about it with passion and as the girl shares that interest; she will follow it.

 

My suggestion - Join a club.

[metallicachica247]

heres how you fake it... DONT! what you gotta do is find out what your so insecure about. work with those things... if you think your fat, work out and eat well (i lost 50 lbs so i would know), if you think your ugly, work through that think of the positive things, NEVER put a "mask" over how you really feel, just work around those things

[metallicachica247]

find out what their interests are, i like to talk about wwe (wrestling) and sports that i am into, also i like talking about movies and how things are going and what i did with my friends and stuff

[darkblue]

heres how you fake it... DONT! what you gotta do is find out what your so insecure about. work with those things... if you think your fat, work out and eat well (i lost 50 lbs so i would know), if you think your ugly, work through that think of the positive things, NEVER put a "mask" over how you really feel, just work around those things

 

It's not putting on a 'mask'. It's getting your foot in the door. Depeding on how you do it.

 

If you go out and appear as arrogant and c0cky - that's taking it too far.

 

If you don't show your shyness and believe in yourself that you have the capability to hold a conversation; you're not being fake.

[shady]

insecurity...i have over come....it feels like a phase....people usually always get over it someday & realize it doesnt matter but what can you do know/just start talking to people you have some confidence and able 2 talk 2 them & maybe you'll meet more people shy or not...what to say....i just say whatever comes to mind..not stupid things but just about anything....they're just human..if they judge me..its their fault

[SirSpicoli]

Guy's how do you initiate conversations with girls???

 

Simple. Assuming you're not at a loud singles bar, then simply ask the girl a question. If that is too much, then simply make a comment then ask a question.

 

Example:

 

Guy: [jokingly] "Kind of warm outside today."

Girl: "Yeah"

Guy: "Yeah, this heat takes some getting used to. I'm from Maine originally. You from around here?"

 

The conversation has officially started. It doesn't matter what you say, but how you say it. If you say it friendly enough, you could start talking about watching paint dry.

 

What do you talk about to keep things interesting and make her interested in you???

 

Unless you're a CEO, a famous entertainer, or abnormally attractive, the girl is never going to become innately interested in you. Aside from the aforementioned individuals, only self-absorbed guys think this way. Not surprisingly, self-absorbed guys tend to bomb with women. For the most part, a girl will become interested in you based on how you make her feel about herself.

 

Women, like most people, absolutely love to talk about themselves. So the task is simple: get them talking about themselves by asking questions. Listen for verbal cues as to what the girl really enjoys, and then get her to elaborate on that by asking follow-up questions. During a conversation, a woman may do 75% of the talking, but if she is talking about subjects she enjoys, then she will remember you as a "good conversationalist."

 

When the woman is talking, look for things you have in common. Something as small as being from the same hometown can have build a surprising amount of rapport. If you don't share any of her interests, then say, "You know, I've always wanted to learn more about that."

 

You don't have to share the same interests to go on a date.

 

Once beyond the art of asking the right questions, the second thing to do is to figure out a way to be coy when talking about yourself. If you don't know what coy means, then you need to learn it now. It means "modest in a flirtatious way." It should be the overarching theme for how you talk to women. It is the single most effective way for normal guys to get abnormally attractive women.

 

Suppose you a get a girl talking about her profession and she starts to boast a little. Then you should say something along the lines of know, you're really starting to give me an inferiority complex over here. Well, mere mortals like myself work in the [blank] industry."

 

Practice those things and you will get better at them. If you practice them enough, you will be able to playfully, and tactfully flirt with just about any woman anywhere. Even if she says she has a boyfriend, then playfully say, "Hmmm, now why doesn't that surprise me?" You will strike out some, but you're still honing the skill of speaking with women--i.e, one half of the world's population.

 

Another thing to consider is your wardrobe. If you look abnormally anti-social, then that can hurt your chances. A girl is more forgiving of a stale personality than a bad fashion sense.