Getting stood up?

[Sally7829]

A few months ago, I was set up with a really nice guy - we went out about 3-4 times, but I was coming out of a bad relationship, and decided I wasn't ready to be with anyone. We fell out of touch. I went back and forth with my ex. Last week, the "set-up" and I started talking again, and decided to meet for lunch. We totally hit it off, and I decided he was worth pursing. We made plans to do something today. We talked the past couple days. He called this afternoon to brainstorm fun things we could do. We ended the conversation by saying he'd call later and we'd set a time and make definite plans. He did, but I missed the call. I called him back w/in 20 minutes, but no answer. Left a message. Never heard from him tonight. Am I missing something? It's now late, and I never got a call, a text, anything. He seemed really nice. But this is definitely a stand up! What the heck do I do?! It seems really out of character for him. I really thought he had potential. I finally left a message, saying "Not sure what happened tonight, hope everything is ok." But really I'm pissed. There are other things I could have done, instead I sat at home feeling sorry for myself! Any advice?

[DN]

Mmaybe something happened either before or after he tried to call. Wait and see what he says if he returns your message before you get angry - it could be somthing serious or important happened.

[Sally7829]

seems a call would have been in order. i've never been stood up before, and i honestly am so offended! and extremely disappointed, as he seemed very genuine. what constitutes a reasonable excuse? this seems like horribly rude behavior.

[DN]

The possibilities are endless - maybe he was in an accident, a close family member was in an accident and was badly injured or died. He or a family member had a medical emergency.

 

There was a member on here a few months ago really angry because her boyfriend did not call her while on a trip to Florida. It turned out he was in hospital after an accident and his sister finally found his cell-phone and was able to let her know what happened.

[Msnak]

Sally, wow, you're experiencing the same thing I did tonight! Ah! Sorry. I went to bed early because my plans with the guy in question fell through.

 

He finally called two hours later than the time we agreed to meet and it woke me up. I didn't answer. I just let him leave a message. I was too mad to say anything and didn't know what to say. His excuse for not calling me back was he forgot his phone while hanging with friends. LOUSY EXCUSE! Tired of the apologies and excuses.

 

Should I end the relationship or not? So confused.

 

It's been 4 months and we keep trying but failing, still we try-try again. I'm 95% tired of trying, but I really, really like him. But I will not be walked over. Maybe that last 5% should be used up so I have no regrets in the future. I should state my expectations, intentions and feelings to him and give it one last try maybe.

[Sally7829]

the phone excuse he left is LOUSY! but i'm glad you see it! i still have not heard a dang word. the older i get, the more i put up with ... why is that? if he has some reasonable explanation, i will see him again. 5 years ago, i never would've spoken to the guy again, unless it truly was some sort of medical or family emergency. why have i conditioned myself to put up with so much more, while expecting more at the same time? the curse of being a woman in her late twenties, i guess?

[Msnak]

Here's what I think, maybe we're just more forgiving with age because we know we've made mistakes over the years. Some mistakes we've wished to go back and change. I don't know.

 

But I tried to call the guy I mentioned, but his phone went to voicemail and I don't want to leave a message that is likely to be misinterpreted. I'm still mad! I think I'm competing with his time spent with his guy friends.

 

I just really like him. I hate it. Liking someone gives them power they don't even know they have.

[Sally7829]

oh, they know they have the power, make no mistake! i've been in that situation too!

 

my current situation is really bizarre, as it's a new "relationship" (not even that yet) and he's been trying really hard (definitely more him pursuing me then vice versa). that's why tonight's events have really thrown me for a loop. also because i've had a bad history dating "bad" guys, and this one was a "good" guy -- till tonight! very disturbing indeed. and i'm pissed that i wasted a perfectly good saturday night doing absolutely nothing.

[Msnak]

Sorry about your bad Saturday night. I had to console myself with "Sahara" starring cutie Matthew McConaughey, and then I got sick so I went to bed, so my Saturday sucked until the phone call woke me. I was able to check my email and talk to my friend who's going thru a break up and we giggled for an hour. Otherwise my night would've been a waste.

 

As for "my guy" it's been 4 months for us, and not that it's much consolation, but he did say in his message that he wants to reschedule and he's had a horrible week. But that's an excuse too. I would like to reschedule our date, but I'm afraid I might take off my shoe and throw it at him when I see him!

 

He's so sweet and infuriating! Ergh!!!

[Sally7829]

Still no word... now I'm just worried.

[Msnak]

Boo, that stinks. He's creating major trouble and major bad feelings by not staying in touch. I know I've felt that.

 

My situation turned out a bit better. Though I doubted it would.

 

I just had a date with my guy and it went well. He's incredibly stressed, you could see it on him. And that was one reason why he hung out with his friends the other night while drinking. Still a bit mad, but he was so sweet tonight all was nearly forgiven! We might have something, or we might not. I don't know.

 

As for your guy, should he decide to finally call you, his excuse better be "I was lying in a ditch on the side of the road for the past few days...."