activelife81 Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 im a 22 yr old guy, ive been going out with my girl (20) for about 9 months now. we've had some ups and downs but mostly ups. but there are just some things i cant deal with anymore. tell me if these are good reasons why i'm ready to break up with her... 1) she only talks about things that are easy for her, and is completely non-confrontational when it comes to things in our relationship that need to be addressed. even though i open up completely to her, and have talked about everything that was difficult for me and i always tell her whats on my mind, whether i want to or not because i believe communication is so important. 2) shes overweight and she has claimed from day one thats something she was ready and able to change...and she hasnt. her lack of respect for her body and her lack of motivation to do something about it (not to mention the appearance of her body) is becoming increasingly disappointing and frustrating to me. i keep myself in top shape, and i believe that's a responsibility of anyone in a relationship to keep their partner physically satisfied. im sure many ppl will say im shallow, and probably some guys will say "yeah dump her" but i want some real reasons...some good advice and some sound insight from ppl out there. especially girls, because i'd like to know what u think from a female perspective. thanks. Link to comment
Ravenshadow Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 Well to start most guys don't tend to enjoy being with someone that can't take care of themselves and let themselves go..and if she can't address problems then you cant really solve problems.so maybe it would be better to dump her.just do what you feel you gotta do man. Link to comment
hitnf Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 well from a guy, i would say do u try to take her out to do do exercises and what else ex: walks, jogging. Checked up on her diet, dunno, but you know like keep an eye out for certain things. I agree with you communication is important, i mean if theres something in the relationship you both need to discuss then she should talk about it, in a way this could show if she cares, but then again might be some other reason. did you try to discuss this with her, i think that through communication can do a lot and like your open about it then she should feel okay about it. As you said if theres been mainly UPS in the relationship then maybe try talking to her about it, i mean maybe shes not confortable in talking certain things but then again i dunno... later, H Link to comment
activelife81 Posted June 30, 2003 Author Share Posted June 30, 2003 i didnt mean to make her sound like a total slob or anything..i mean shes nice looking and clean....just obese. and that bothers me alot, along with her lack of communication. i feel like if i meant as much to her as she does to me then she would the effort in to open up. (ok i will admit she HAS opened up a few times...angrily and unwillingly...which is not what i want..i want civil communication) Link to comment
sensual_buttafly Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 I do think your reasons are some what reasonable but have you tried speaking to her about it? like telling her you dont find her sexually attractive anymore? I think you need to address these things with her instead of finishing the relationship and then maybe regretting it later on...and if you really do love her yes you would care about the outside but you would be some what willing to comprimise with her,its the inside that counts remember. And if she is the same person she was when you first got together and you are trying to change her then you shouldnt try and change someone to the way you want them to be you should find out what you really want and need instead of trying to get someone to adapt to your needs. Good luck hope this helps. Link to comment
activelife81 Posted June 30, 2003 Author Share Posted June 30, 2003 well, to be honest...she mislead me because i met her online and i didnt KNOW she was fat at the time or else i would never have gotten involved i know- stupid STUPID stupid Link to comment
segagirl Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 talk to me, you know where to find me. This is an issue that I would really like you to keep working through. I am happy you are getting to a place you feel comforyable admitting what may be wrong between you two. But you know where to find me if you want to talk more. Link to comment
Peter_L Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 Well if she really loves you, than she'll get herself to change. Not just for you but for herself. Also try to get her to open up more, slowly though. She has to know that you're not happy. Let her know this is her last chance or something to change or you're out! Because you love her for some reason besides looks. Link to comment
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