You could say I was miserable

[walkingwithaghost]

I don't know what's wrong with me. I used to have ridiculous dreams of fame and prestige, but now I know that's not gonna happen. I used to act like Jack on Will & Grace now I'm this miserable f--- who works all the time. I'm a college student sorority girl, I'm living a lie. I'm really pretty and go to the gym everyday and eat really healthy, I look good, I get asked out a half dozen times a week. I'm still just so miserable. My mother always tells me what a f--- up I am, despite the fact I'm a good kid and work really hard. I like to work because I feel like I deserve the punishment of working all day and don't deserve to have fun. I don't have a bf, I used to think I was lonely and falling in love might help now I know I'm just alone and noone else can help me. I'm just really miserable. I feel like I used to have this struggle between reality (the real world) and fantasy (my dreams/what I wish would happen/my private dreamer world), my dreams were my escape and kept me going. Now I feel like the world has crushed my dreams/spirit/whatever you wanna call it and everyday it just keeps getting smashed deeper and deeper into smithereens. I don't know what to do or how to help myself. Believe me, I used to think if I could look really good I would be happy and ppl would like me, physically I'm like a 9.5 (I promise) I'm still miserable and feel like noone could like me, only guys who wanna f--- me could like me. The few friends I have I feel like they're fake and don't really truly like me or there is something wrong with them or they're just being nice to me out of pity. Please help. I used to have this rush of loneliness or panic on a Saturday night when I didn't have anything to do, now I have that feeling all the time (when I'm not at work or school.)I'm not lonely I long for people as a distraction from the way I feel, just a distraction not a fulfilling solution. Sorry if this is confusing, but I'm more talking about an abstract feeling that a succint defineable problem... please help

[huszar]

Hey, you're not alone. We all feel lonely at times, especially when, as a fellow Greek, you see such shallow behavior in people., but you gotta hope for the best, and do as well as you can. I can assure you that there are good people out there waiting for you who will accept you for the person you are, but you have to believe that you can find them.

 

When you start believing you are f--- up, etc. is when you let the negativity win. And you cannot, at any cost, let that happen. You owe it to yourself to be happy...don't let spiteful or bad things get in your way.

 

Just remember to stay strong...it'll get better someday, I promise.

[hardcharger]

Life can change for the better very quickly. I remember feeling like a "lost soul" in college. Thinking there had to be something to make my life meaningful, which it didn't appear to be. You have taken the first step by realizing things are not the way you are and then taking action to make them better.(your post).

 

So maybe you're lonely right now and wishing for a mate to make you more complete. There is certainly a possibility of that happening. Very good possiblity. Be ready for it. Pray that you will meet the right people in your life, pray that you will recognize and take advantage of opportunities to gorw and expand yourself. Don't be afraid to take a chance. Keep yourself involved in activity that is "usefull". Feed your mind with good books, learning and nature.

 

I clearly remember being 20 and having that lost feeling about career and love. I have had both a fulfilling career and family for many years. You are only starting your lifes work. Brainwash yourelf to expect the best.

[acuraman]

I too have felt this way at one time in my life. There is nothing wrong with following your dreams, people do this all the time. You just have to make them realistic and strivable thats all.

 

No one should punish themselves by not having fun. By punishing yourself, you are depriving yourself of fun and memorable moments. Perhaps some of those moments might lead you to find friends that are true, or guide you to a path that you might have considered impossible.