Gamers? I don't understand.

[frustrated101]

I have a boyfriend that lives at the computer playing video games especially the online games. It drives me crazy he plays it when ever he gets a chance and when he is playing them I could ask him the same question 4-5 times before he finally answers me. The worst is when he responds to the fact that I'm asking the question but then I will say hello what do you think. (RESPONSE) What did you say again? AHHHHH!!!

 

What is the attraction could someone help me to understand what the big deal is. He says it's because he doesn't have a lot of friends since he is not from this area and he feels like he has something in common with the people that are online. I could sort of understand that but really so many hours such a long time why doesn't he go out and meet people half of the time that he is on the game. I don't want to give him a hard time about it but it is getting frustrating.

 

Can someone tell me what the attraction is?

[easyguy]

You know, a few years back I was the same way. I was addicted to online videogames. I spent so many hours every just sitting on my *** playing a game, sometimes getting up to eat or drink.

 

Looking back on it, I regret wasting on those hours on a game or two.

 

It's a guy thing, I guess. There are some guys that would, in the case of a huge fire in the house, save the Xbox or computer instead of a person. It's sad that videogames can take over the lives of so many.

 

It's just a phase, I guess.

[Protex]

Well being a former pro-gamer, the attraction for me eventually was the money.

 

At first I think it was just the escape from reality.

 

And yeah, you can't talk to a guy while gaming. We cannot multi-task like that. We talk, the next thing you know, someone is destorying half of our army. =(

 

Just drag him out of the house or something.

[kenneth05]

it's a fun and exciting way to escape a more mundane, frustrating, unappealing real life for many many people.

i know i know i know... here i am on a helpboard.

oh well.

[Minty80]

It's a line to walk. I'm not a guy but I do quite enjoy online gaming, specifically mmorpgs. Heck I'm just a tad computer nerdy in general (I built mine and unless you got time to spare don't ask what I'm running, that generally leads to a full run down ).

 

Most online games work on a very simple scientific basis. Make the rewards fast and easy at first then slowly stretch out the time and effort it takes for each reward. It gets you hooked, big time. Plus, if you are in a guild you have other people reinforcing the addiction because they normalize it.

 

The important thing is to recognize those facts and then deal. I do love my online gaming but I don't let it interfere with my real life. Granted I don't have much time to play anyway, between the kids, school, and my boyfriend (who is the one in our relationship that hates video games and doesn't get why I play them). So if I happen to have some free time I'll jump on for a bit, and time does get away from you, but it is something fun. I don't think the fun aspect can be explained though, either a person likes it or they don't, and if they don't they aren't going to understand why some do.

 

Is your boyfriend's playing interfering with your relationship? If it is then I'd have a talk with him. If it's just annoying that during certain times it's hard to get his attention I'd let it go. It's like anything a person gets into, it takes up your concentration. Think of it like a person reading a book and how hard it can be to get their attention.

[frustrated101]

It doesn't so much interfere with our relationship but it did until I said something about it. He has cut down on the time spent on FFXI which was almost 10 hrs a day when he wasn't working. Now he's working he doesn't have the time to play it as much but when he is not working he is playing the game. Which is usually only 5-6 hrs instead of the usual 10. lol

 

Don't get me wrong I like playing some xbox or ps2 games myself but when I want to drop it I can. What I don't understand is when we want to go out or something he can't just say okay and get up and go.

 

But it does make him happy and I just want to understand so I can associate.

[Minty80]

If you really want to understand read link removed this essay and then some of the other essays on that page. It's specifically referring to everquest but the principles apply to almost all mmorpgs and many games in general.

[frustrated101]

Hey thanks for the site it will probaly help me out alot. Greatly appreciated.

[djedix]

cuz playing online games, is all about loot.

 

what is loot you ask?

 

Loot is the items you gain that makes your character that much better then anyone else.

 

That's why people play so long,,, they are trying to get the best stuff.

That is why they want to play so much too, because if your not playing, someone else will get it, and you will fall behind.

 

That's how online games work. And i've been part of these giant guilds who run these giant instance groups, where your actully talking, planing, stratigizing how to get stuff done, to get this lewt. There is alot of time you can invest into these characters, and it never gets old... till you get all the lewt!

 

all of this takes tons and tons of freaking time... getting 40 people orgnized is insane..

 

i made 2 grand off star wars galaxies, because i had unlocked a jedi slot before anyone else, i flipped the account on ebay, and made real life $$$ just cuz i had something some obessed other gamer couldnt get. easyest 2 grand i've ever made, and i had fun doing it.. lol

[Amannamederic]

^^^^

 

holy f-ing crap me too!!! except i only got 1500 for my jedi, unlocked back when holocrons were the way to do it, sold him for massive amounts of money when he was a full-template, its so awsome that people will pay that much for a few months work forreal.

 

Online gaming is something i just recently got over with the sale of my character from SWG. I hate that i played it so much, but forreal...it was fun man...so much fun.

 

There are girls there too, alot of guys don't care that they are there but some of them even get married! Weird i know, (you looted 2 rings in SWG and then proposed and could actually plan and have a wedding, move in together, the whole 9 yards)

 

It is just a phase, and once that game gets boring he will be over it, trust me on this one.

[randy]

It is just a phase, and once that game gets boring he will be over it, trust me on this one.

 

ya . . . and then he'll move on the the next , even more addictive game

[OceanEyes]

I know a couple who actually met while playing some online game (don't ask which one, I know next-to-nothing about gaming except for Sim City, lol). She lived in Kentucky or something, and him up here in Montreal, Canada. She ended up moving up here to live with him, they lived together for a year, got married in Hawaii, then he moved down to where her family is and they seem very happy!

 

The attraction to gaming is probably a lot like any other type of pastime that one finds enjoyable. My ex-boyfriend ran a music forum and site and spent 70% of his spare time working on it. For the first year and a half, I didn't care at all. Then I noticed that he would be completely "shut off" from the rest of the world at times when he was working on his site and get irritated if I would so much as come into the room.

 

I think that major compatibility issues can arrise when one person in the relationship would rather spend their free time doing anything online, and the other person would rather be OUT doing things. Believe it or not, there are still relatively old-fashioned people who don't believe in spending all of their time near/ on the computer.

[Tylin]

I've been in and out of various online games for the past four years. My husband introduced me to games when we met and I was hooked shortly after. For me, it really was an addiction because I used it as a way to escape reality. I think he does, too. He usually games or surfs the internet from the time he gets home from work until he goes to sleep (hours after I turn in).

 

I remember I really resented his gaming before I got into it. I would go to visit him at his apartment and he would just keep gaming and not want to go anywhere. I would wonder why I even bothered to stop by if he wasn't going to talk to me. Plus he didn't have cable modem or DSL, so his phoneline was always busy if I wanted to call. But once I started gaming he had to deal with some of the same things with me, so he got a little better about not ignoring me!

 

I recently stopped gaming when I "woke up" to the fact that my reality would never change if I kept ignoring my problems. I had a lot of online friends that I now miss, but I feel good about making a better future for myself.

 

I don't think that all gaming is bad or addictive, I think it depends on how the individual uses the experience. I work with a lot of people that plop down on the couch for six hours each night for entertainment, so gaming doen't seem any different to me in comparison. But I think if it keeps someone from taking care of their responsibilities and loved ones, then it's become a real problem. Just my two cents.