What's she doing here? I mean seriously!

[rionmccloud]

So I have several women I'm dealing with in my life, and many times they make no damn sense. We'll start with Amy.

 

Amy works in another office in my office's building. She is 19, I am 25. She is petite, cute, and seems pretty nice. But she makes no sense to me. I talked to her Friday and we exchanged numbers. She called me Saturday afternoon and I asked what she was doing later. She said she didn't know and asked what I was doing. I said "Beer and a movie. You're more than welcome to join me." She said she'd call and let me know. She never called. Sunday passes without a call either.

 

Monday I go outside to smoke after getting to work. Usually we take breaks around the same time and talk. I smoked and went inside. I somtimes wait for her, but I decided if she wants anything from me she can work for it. Not playing hard to get, just tired of working for nothing. An hour later she calls me and asked if I was avoiding her. I said no, despite that partially being true. She tells me she didn't do anything Saturday night. Quite annoying. I tell her I have to get back to work and she says to call her later.

 

What the Hell!! I get every sign you're interested, invite you out, and you decline despite having nothing to do, then you expect me to make it a point to call you? In what world does that make sense? What do you guys make of this?

[tearscried]

Shem probably doenst know what she wants, or she's not intregued enough.. or maybe she's a little scared. I know when i was in her situation, i would consider going with a guy, but then i'd get a little scared about where it would lead, maybe I felt too pressured.. or i just didnt want to seem like a bitch by saying no, and figured that not calling back would just be better... she's young though, so she probably doesnt know how to handle situations like that. Dont call her.. tell her to call you if anything. be like, "You have my number, Amy."Dont call her though.. that's the first step to being walked all over, or to feel like a dumbass again

[Ceema-k]

Hi rionmccloud,

Two things stuck out for me and they are directly correlated: 1) she's only 19 and 2) the flakeyness indicators are on high already. She was supposed to follow up with you, about the beer and movie, and she later asks if you're avoiding HER. hahaha

 

Why not give her another chance. If she blows it again, well, you say you are dealing with several women now, so no sweat off your brow if Amy continues being flakey.

[rionmccloud]

It's just quite annoying for me. People think they need to play games when all you need to do is be honest and forward. Is it really that hard?

[DN]

Saying "I'm having a beer and a movie - you are more than welcome to join me" was maybe too casual. If you had said "I 'd love it if were to join me, I'll pick you up at 7" you might have got a better response.

[Maverick32x]

she isnt even of age to drink..... and imo being invited over to drink might not had been her idea of a good night? Being a college student myself i know all about drinking, and what alot of girls might interpret that as.....

maybe she was just being cautious? and you might of tried saying just a movie... and than offer a drink?

[annie24]

Saying "I'm having a beer and a movie - you are more than welcome to join me" was maybe too casual. If you had said "I 'd love it if were to join me, I'll pick you up at 7" you might have got a better response.

 

Yeah, I also don't respond well to such invites. First off, she doesn't know if it's a group thing, or you alone, or you and a female friend, or whatever, who will be drinking beer and watching a movie. I feel uncomfortable with such invitations because of this very reason.

 

It also sounds like, "I'm going to be bored tonight. Want to be bored with me?" It doesn't sound like a real date, more like, you have nothing better to do, and she can come also if she has nothing better to do. Not the most persuasive way to ask a girl out on a date.

 

Maybe she thought that you were going to go OUT to a bar to drink, thereforeeee, being under 21, she couldn't have gone. You didn't specify if you were going to go home and drink, or go out.

 

And, like the previous poster said, maybe her idea of fun isn't beer and a movie, so that's why she declined.

 

It wasn't really an overwhelming invite from my perspective.... Ask her again, but with a definitive date and time and plans. From her phone call, it sounds like she's interested. Try again! Good luck.

[rionmccloud]

I agree with you all on most of your points. It wasn't a formal invite, more of a "Wanna hang out?" kind of deal. I didn't say "Come over and drink beer with me." I just said I'd be drinking beer and watching a movie. I'm not saying that makes a difference, just laying it out.

 

I do think she's a game player, though, and I don't know how I feel about that. I definitely am not. She gets one more invite before the ball's in her court. I'm not going to go through a lot of trouble only to be turned down every time.

 

Tonight she was very obvious with her interest in me. Saying things like "My ex didn't like that soked, but you don't have a problem with that, right?" Which I don't because I smoke more than she does. She was talking about wanting to go to LRS Fest, a concert event, and saying she didn't want to go with so and so because she wanted to have fun, and then giving me the feeling she's waiting for me to ask. She's being really obvious about it all, which is actually kind of nice. I'm not very good at reading people, so obvious helps me out a lot.

 

The next time I offer will be direct and planned. You're all right on the "beer and a movie" half-arsed offer. Thanks for the replies all.