Uncontrollable jealousy, help

[tiger888]

My boyfriend is the most faithful person and I know he'd never cheat and he has never done anything to even make me suspicious.

 

HOWEVER, I am just an insecure insecure insecure woman and can't handle it when he talks to his female friends, looks at a pretty girl on TV, when we watched some scantily clad Brazilian dancers at some street fair and the THOUGHT of him looking at porn on the net. I KNOW that all men look at other women, love porn, etc. I intellectually know this is "normal" and "natural". He never makes comments about other women in front of me, doesn't watch porn in my presense, doesn't eyeball other women who are hot, but I still get uncontollable jealous if *I* see an attractive woman or "think" about him watching porn. MY gosh, what is it going to take to get me to just accept it all? Do you think watching porn with him will get me to accept him watching it more (BTW, I "secretly" watch it myself on the net and enjoy it but somehow get freaked out to think of him doing it...double standard, I know!). I just want to finally be at peace with him just being a normal man.

 

ANY words of advice??

[pizzachick13]

Communication is the key tiger888. If you just talk with him about it I'm sure you two can come up with a way to make things easier on yourself. Also, it seems that your insercurities aren't valid and you just need to calm down and have some faith in the fact that your man loves you and that you are the only woman he wants.

 

Good luck

 

Sappho...

[obscuresin]

How long have you been with him? I gather it's not that long. Time will prove you that you're the only one he can see. The only one he wants to see. Then that feeling will go away and you will both gladly watch porn together without feeling uncomfortable...

[miscom]

Tiger - you sound just like me. I can watch it, but the thought of him watching it makes me sad. Not sure why that is, and I have been trying to come to terms with it as well.

When I see him look at a girl, I roll my eyes, which makes him angry and then it is this big "thing". It is not like he stares at pretty girls in front of me, but he does look, as do I.... I look at pretty girls and I look at cute guys...but I don't stare.

I do know that it is my own insecurity that is the problem. I am working on that - it is an every day job.

I am thankful that I have someone like him as I would have broken up with someone like me a long time ago. I get on him abotu stuff - porn and other women - all the time. Well, it used to be all the time, I have begun to lay off and that is actually helping.

The minute I start to get a little upset with thoughts or whatever, I step back and ask myself if it is really that important, remind myself how much he loves me and those porn chicks are nothing but images.

I look at how far we have come as a couple, how much we have accomplished together, as a team, and realize (again) that it is me that he loves, works out everything with, day in and day out.

I think - when I watch it, does it affect the way I feel about him? No? Then why would it have that effect on him?

Good men are hard to come by. Don't let these images or random people or even his friends ruin what took so long (not sure of your age or how long you have been together) to find.

My bf has a girl friend that he has been friends with for like 15 years....at first -- I was hmmmm, but I have met her several times and we are very friendly. She has a fiance and the whole thing - think of it this way - when he goes shopping for a ring, at least he can get a female perspective without spoiling a surprise. Make the best of everything!

Good luck to you!