I'm fed up being Mr Average

[rosstheboss]

i've been doing quite well recently, got off the anti-depressants, got a new job and went on a great holiday. but all of a sudden while go-karting with some friends for the first time my depression came rushing back. Call me a sore loser if you like but what brought it back was that i came 6th out of 10!

i'm never 1st or 2nd or even last, i'm always in the middle somewhere and it's always been like this through my life. Anything i do thats new with my friends i always come somewhere in the middle. i never expect to come top for everything but i always like to think i'll do ok, even if i came last it'd be a talking point.

Ever since primary school, when the class was segrated into ability groups i was in the middle. i feel like i have 'middle child syndrome' (which i'm not btw i'm the eldest).

I just never get noticed becuase i never manage to do good or bad.

I don't have any hobbies really because theres nothing i have found that i enjoy enough. i always feel so bored and end up wasting evenings and weekends in front of the tv or the computer.

 

can anyone offer me any advice?

[DN]

Think positively for a change - you could be last at everything.

 

You don't have to be first at everything, or even second. You are only a failure if you fail to try and the only competition that really counts is the one you have with yourself - the one where you are always trying to improve. The standard to try to beat is the one you set the last time you did something, not the standard set by someone else.

[Alabama]

You don't have to worry if your not above average. It's who you are. Just think positive as the above user said. And if you don't like something about yourself, then change it! Good luck.

[obscuresin]

Agreed.

 

You can try to do this though : Find something you like and spend hours doing it.

 

I love pool. I could play pool for 6 hours straight everyday. (I do about half that), and I'm pretty good. Of all my friends I would say I'm the best. But I don't care about being number one. Because I do it for the love of the game, not to be number one.

 

What I'm trying to say is that you need to change your mindset and start enjoying life instead of going after the results. It's not about the win, it's about how you play the game.

[Veneza127]

Think positively for a change - you could be last at everything.

 

You don't have to be first at everything, or even second. You are only a failure if you fail to try and the only competition that really counts is the one you have with yourself - the one where you are always trying to improve. The standard to try to beat is the one you set the last time you did something, not the standard set by someone else.

 

Pay attention to this guy! he's wise. That's a very nice piece of advice.

 

You know?? I feel like that sometimes too. But I start thinking about my actions and THERE ARE things I do that I like to do. I really don't have a hobbie either but who said everybody has to have one?? One of the things I like is giving advice to other people. I like to find out what other people would do in different situations. Because I enjoy learning not only from my mistakes and my right decisions but also from others. I like to know what other people do in situations I've never been to. And I don't consider that a HOBBIE and I'm probably a little naive about some situations so.. that doesn't make me the best either. In fact... it makes me Ms. Average too. And to tell you the truth... I don't feel bad about it.

 

It's true! You should expect high standards all the time but I guess that makes you an average person too so.. what's the point of gettig depressed?

[ShySoul]

People always have a problem with being average. Well, by definiton, average is what most people are. There is nothing wrong with it and no reason to feel depressed.

 

Being first or second in something brings its own set of problems and pressures. These people get depressed as well and stressed out over having to be the best and maintaining their position. So everyone feels depressed on this sometimes.

 

Like DN said, it doesn't matter where you come in. What counts is that you try your hardest and have fun doing tit.