Platonic Love Affair

[leonesa]

I have been having an affair with this guy 20 years younger than I am. We are both married but his wife stays in another country in which he visits her every 6 months. We have been going on dates twice a week but we have never had sex nor kissing or something to that effect. I am confused because he says he loves me but we have never done anything.

We broke up several times but we still get back together.

 

I see him hesitant in doing those things with me because of guilt to his wife in which he has mention to me before. This is his first time to have a long affair like this with an older woman. I don't see him flirt nor have sex with other girls like his age and he's the conservative type and shy, too, so it didn't really bother me and because I care for him so much. But there are times that I really wonder why he doesn't kiss nor have sex with me since he's a man and we're always together and far from his family. I do help him financially since his income is not enough for them. He doesn't really ask me but I always offer my help.

 

What should I do? Do I ask him and confront him about this situation we

are in right now? I am embarrased to ask him because I'm a woman who should wait for the man to make the first move. I do care for him but I've thought of breaking up with him since we're not going anywhere. Help me please to decide what to do with this affair.

 

 

TAV

[MrsE4]

You both made vows to other people. If you're going to continue to see each other, end your marriages. If you're not willing to do that, you need to seriously rethink why you're seeking love (and sex) outside your marriage. I am an outsider looking in, of course, but your priorities seem to be focused on the wrong woman's marriage. Take care of your own or get out. Then figure out what to do with your much-younger friend.