POLL: Should I call him after he dumped me?

[sadsammy]

Well we were together for a year and it finally came to an end, he broke up with me saying that he had some issues to work out and so forth(WHATEVER!) So later that night he calls me and I dont answer my phone.. and he leaves this long winded message about how he loves me so much and things arent really going good for him and how he feels like he cant provide for me(blah blah) and how needs to get his head sorted! Well....its been 39 days(whos counting?) and we havent spoke! from every day to nothing at all! I know he is waiting for me to call him and I REALLY REALLY want to but my stubborn side is saying"NONONO" if he wanted to be with me he'd call right? PLEASE HELP! Now I see him on msn saying he quit his job, I know he wants me to respond(well not forsure)

I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO

[dewerte]

Guys are a bit afraid of their feelings sometimes. They feel that what they have to offer isn't good enough for the person they are with...they may feel they (their other half) deserves better. He seems like he cares for you alot but just doesn't know how to say it. So he runs. I would write him a letter telling him how you feel and mail it or email it to him. dont take it in person. Let him have time to read over it and think on it. Then request that he get in touch with you about it. Just dont push because it can force him to go farther away. this is only a suggestion.

[Nemo23]

I wouldn't call him. I would just work on you and your life situations. Forget about him for now. Pray for him, wish him well... but you shouldn't stoop down and beg back at him. Hang out with friends, do fun things. And move on. What's meant to be will be. A call from you to him might make you feel sheepish and desperate.

[annie24]

Why do you think he is waiting for you to call? If he said he has issues he needs to work out, I think it makes a lot more sense for him to pick up the phone and say to you, "Ok, I have my issues worked out. I miss you and want to get back with you."

 

Don't call. He said he has issues - let him work it out. In the meantime, take care of you

[Iceman26]

I agree, don't call him. Hes playing games, and most people dont like game players.

[annie24]

Yea, it is a game, isn't it?

 

I think you should take his game VERY SERIOUSLY. Basically, he said to you, "I am so messed up right now that talking to you, hanging out with you, is getting in the way of my healing my emotional life." That's harsh, isn't it?

 

Since he says he feels that way, then don't contact him. Otherwise, you are "hindering" his healing process.

[sadsammy]

Thanks so much for everyones wonderful advice, I will not call him and keep yous all posted. I really needed it. thanks.

[Msnak]

Why is the common theme that in most relationships, limbo and uncertainty exists via telephone? And especially where women are on the receiving end of a "quiet" phone?

 

I know it's hard to communicate in a relationship for both genders, but what makes a man think that it's OK not to call? Even if it's a call when they know you can't answer--just for an update! Just for the darn truth for a change.

 

Sure, I do sound bitter and sarcastic, but I think I have a point.

 

Guys, just have common courtesy and call if you say you will. Or call and say you don't want to talk. It takes 40 seconds to do that. Don't make someone wait!

 

Women, we do it too! Let's just everyone stop leading people on and people will be happier in general.

 

Now we break into a chorus of "Shiny Happy People!"

 

Sorry, I'm trying to amuse myself here!