Aikoji Posted August 28, 2005 Share Posted August 28, 2005 My bf and I are so close that we're not afraid to share anything, including dreams... He's been having a particular something happen lately in his dreams and it's really starting to bother me, I love him, and hearing it makes me have a sick feeling. Well... he's been dreaming of kissing other girls, not girls he knows, but he's had about five so far in which he kissed a girl as he describes "like I would kiss you" Everytime he tells me this I try to hide my feelings about it and talk about something else, but do you think it could possibly mean something? I have no classes with him this year (I'm a senior in high-school) and we had four last year so I've been having trouble getting used to not seeing him daily like I used too, and his dreams are adding to my stress. I know it's just his sub-conscious, but does anyone think I should be worried? I can't help thinking his dreams are saying something. I know he loves me very much so, but... I haven't been in his dreams for a very long time, and dreams were something special we liked to share, and now I'm sadly dreading it when he says "I had a dream the other night" because soon he will add "but I didn't like it..." I've been thinking of talking to him tomorrow about it, but I'm kinda finding it hard to find words to describe my worries. I'd appreciate any help, as long as it isn't criticism. Thanks. Link to comment
stratguy620 Posted August 28, 2005 Share Posted August 28, 2005 I've been thinking of talking to him tomorrow about it, but I'm kinda finding it hard to find words to describe my worries. You were able to explain your feelings to us, complete strangers, so just tell him exactly what you told us. I understand that you're worried, but I've always felt that dreams are just meaningless little events that happens in our minds. Neither of you can control his dreams, so you'll have to learn to live with it, or he'll have to stop telling or some other solution like that. Link to comment
Aikoji Posted August 28, 2005 Author Share Posted August 28, 2005 I know I explained it to you, but I wanted to think of a more kinder way to say it but I guess people don't understand that here. I think we have dreams for a reason, they're not meaningless, I dreamed my parents died and my best friends half sister and brother died the next day for example. I think you replied too negatively nonetheless -.- and would like advice more from someone whose had a similar experience. Link to comment
Aikoji Posted August 28, 2005 Author Share Posted August 28, 2005 On a side-note, I'm grateful that he tells me his dreams! I hate that anyone would suggest he stop, we have an understanding of each other and talk to each other frequently about just about anything. I am telling him tomorrow regardless, I know he will understand and well, I can't predict anyone's words... Link to comment
angrybeaver Posted August 28, 2005 Share Posted August 28, 2005 Truthfully i think that dreams can mean something not 100% sure if all of them do or not some are just flights of imagination but i do know some do. The tricky thing with dreams is trying to read/understand them. Some dreams that seem to have a very obvious in meaning can mean something completely different. as for your situation, it is great you guys can share your dreams so openly with each other. However you should also be open to share your feelings openly and if his "certain" dreams are bothering you should say something. Dreams are an escape from reality and are not for one to control. I personaly love my girlfriend to death however i have and do dream about other women on occasion so do most guys it is just the way of things.... but that does not change how i feel or act in real life towards her in real life and never will. So i would not worry to to much about it and just tell him that you love sharing you dreams with him it is just that the idea of him with another women is making you uncomfortable. I am pretty sure at one time or another you have dreamed up the "perfect guy" or a movie star and had some fun and that is what dreams are for Link to comment
Riles84 Posted August 30, 2005 Share Posted August 30, 2005 Ok . .Being a little bit of a psychology nut . . you shuld know that there is little known about teh so called "dream World" however the general understanding is taht there is truth to dreams. Your boyfriend kissing other girls in your dreams can easily be concluded as fantasizing. Oviously if they are girls he knows in real life .. he is atracted to tehm.. This does not mean that becasue hes dreaming of them that he is going to act on his atraction and feelings. It is VERY common for people to fantasize and have atractions to other peo0ple even thoguh they are in love and with someone else. Dont take this as anythign in my opinion. Its just a harmless dream. Dreams are made up of events and people thought, encountered durring that particular day. My honest advice is to take this as nothing.. because I doubt u can say that while youve been wiht your boyfreidn you have not thought about other men or been atracted to them. Link to comment
Riles84 Posted August 30, 2005 Share Posted August 30, 2005 Ok . .Being a little bit of a psychology nut . . you shuld know that there is little known about teh so called "dream World" however the general understanding is taht there is truth to dreams. Your boyfriend kissing other girls in your dreams can easily be concluded as fantasizing. Oviously if they are girls he knows in real life .. he is atracted to tehm.. This does not mean that becasue hes dreaming of them that he is going to act on his atraction and feelings. It is VERY common for people to fantasize and have atractions to other peo0ple even thoguh they are in love and with someone else. Dont take this as anythign in my opinion. Its just a harmless dream. Dreams are made up of events and people thought, encountered durring that particular day. My honest advice is to take this as nothing.. because I doubt u can say that while youve been wiht your boyfreidn you have not thought about other men or been atracted to them. Link to comment
Protex Posted August 30, 2005 Share Posted August 30, 2005 Well, cheating in dreams. (being physical with others who are not your partner) is symbolic of their loyalty to you. I know it doesn't make sense, but the dream world really doesn't have too. Link to comment
dw_rc...Confused Posted August 30, 2005 Share Posted August 30, 2005 Also I read in a physcology mag that if you think about someone frequently say, a good amount everyday then it's unlikely that they'll appear in your dreams as they already have a large place in your conscious mind thereforeeee your sub-conscious mind will reserve other matters to dream about. the minds a strange thing. Link to comment
Riles84 Posted August 30, 2005 Share Posted August 30, 2005 Well, cheating in dreams. (being physical with others who are not your partner) is symbolic of their loyalty to you You can't say that. Dreams are not able to be torn apart and analysed. You can question why he was thinking of this other girl(s) .. but there really is no answer. Him dreaming about other girls does not mean hes not loyal to you. Protex it is 100% normal to think of other people and be atracted to them even in the conscious mind . .and that doesn't mean you are un-loyal either. Its just human nature and for you to say this guy is not loyal without ever talking to him is totally unfair to him. Unspecially because it was just a dream. My honest opinion ( being knowlegable in phsycolgy) is that he HAS probably been atracted to these women, and in his dreams, is acting on what he normally ( I hope) would not act on in RL ... By him telling you that he has had these dreams, he is being 100% honest with you... making him honest and trustworthy in my opinion. If he wanted to act on these feelings, he wouldnt of told you probably Link to comment
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