why am i feeling this way

[Cuu]

i've been with my girl for 5 years. during those five years she's dumped me about 5 times. our last break up was a week ago. i went through all the emotions every man goes through. sad, mad, angry, HATE!!@ you guys know what i'm talking about. anyways, our most recent break up i get drunk every night and cried for over 1hr straight. wow, didn't know i was capable of crying non-stop for so long. i thought about suicide and all that junk to ease the pain. then i realized that it wasn't her fault that she left me. i was a loser i guess. now i don't hate her anymore. i still drive to her house everyday a few times a day cuz i'm use to it.

 

then i found out about this forum and read a lot about all these problems that are similar to mines. i learned a lot and it has calmed me down. so i took some of your advices and stopped calling her. so about five days went by and she called me. i was to nervous to pick up the phone. so i called her the next night instead asking if we can talk about it. she told me she drove by my house and saw me rollerblading at the park. she said she missed me. hehe that gave me a weird feeling.

 

anyways, to the point. now i guess we're trying to work things out. i'm feeling better, but i also feel like i can't love her the same way i did for 5 years. i mean, i know deep down that i love her to death. it's just that i don't feel the same. why am i feeling like this? i don't wanna feel like this!

all you psychologist people out there please tell me so i can save me some money. thanks for reading and GL to all you heart-broken guys out there.

[Heretic]

It's simple really. It's a natural process you're going to go through after being hurt. You tell yourself you could never love her that much again because sub-consciously you don't want to. You're afraid that you're just end up alone in the future and without her again going over all these past feelings.

 

It's either that or you're not happy because the chase is off. You liked the rockiness of the relationship and that's what kept you interested.

 

It could be either one but you sound more like the prior (ie afraid of getting hurt). Try to think it over, if that's the reason you'll have to work past that.

 

Best of luck!

 

(edit) P.S.

 

BTW I'm glad you've found the forums helpful, and I hope after all your troubles you will share your experience with the rest of us.

 

-Heretic