Need some help...

[Sweet Euphoria]

I have been talking to this girl I recently met, and she is having problems. I want to help her out so much. I try to give her the best advice I can, but it never seems to get through to her. Here's the situation. She's 16 and has gained the reputation of being extremely easy. She always gets sad after she 'gets' with someone. She says all guys are always bugging her about doing things with her, and she always gives in. Now I know that this girl is deep down a tremondous person. She is loving and caring, but I always feel so bad for her. What should I tell her? I care about her so much and I am getting annoyed because she continually gets hurt day after day.

[dimaki]

Tell her the truth. That you care about her and what happens to her. Tell her that she doesn't have to give in to be liked by men, if those are the types of men that will like her, they're not worth it. She'll get a more respectable man by waiting longer.

[Gilgamesh]

Because of her rep, the only guy that are after her now are guys after sex, and because thats the only thing they want, thats the only thing she believes she has of value!

 

the only "cure" is for her to stop having sex, she needs to shake that rep. will the guys dump her, yep they will, will they get angry because now she doesnt put out, yes they will, good! eventually she wont have any dates, all the horn dogs will fade away, when she get s to that point then eventually she will atract someone thats interested in her because of her other qualities, she should restrain from early sex with this person too, to make sure thats not all he wants.

[sameasalways]

I think that is normal to be sad in her situation, after a guy leaves when all he really was looking for was a "good time". I know I went through that. I think its very important to get down to the root of what she really wants in her life at this point in time, and whether or not she truly is ready to deal with what she wants for her life at this point in time. Sounds easy but its not. She sounds lost and lonely. Being lonely is a lot worse than being alone, and there is a large difference between the two that is overlooked often. She also needs to learn the fundamental difference between these two. There is nothing worse than being involved with people or a person, and being lonely despite that. When you are alone though, you may be alone, but you have all possibilities and control over what you do next in your life, and restrictions placed on that. When you are alone, you aren't neccessarily lonely, but when you are lonely, you feel hopelessness, worthlessness, and wasted despite the people around you. She is quite young, and I think to a point, a lot of girls go through a stage like this. She is in danger however of STD's and also of ending up in a relationship with someone who is abusive to her (actually she is being abusive to herself right now which shows how much self worth she has right now). There is also the possiblity that she did not have a good father figure, or that she was sexually abused in the past. She doesn't know how to have a healthy relationship or form one yet apparently. She also has a hard time saying "no" and perhaps it would be helpful if she learned some deterrance stratagies while being made aware that if certain men or males lose interest in her after using the stragegies that they only had one thing in mind anyway. Deterrance stragegies such as controlling the alcohol intake, controlling situations in which she will be alone with certain individuals, trying to stay out of environments that are too private that allow sexual things to occur to begin with and also to learn that she has the ultimate control in the power of her hands, she just hasn't learned how to use it yet. Also, I do think at her age, most males do only want one thing.....and hopefully she is distinctly aware of that. If she can learn what she wants and is willing to accept from a male, and draw the line, she should be okay in the end.