DRAMA!!!!

[sundaymorning]

heres the deal. Girlfriend and I have been together for almost 2 and a half yrs. Been very bad. Arguments like you wouldn't believe. We basically hate each other. Well about 2 months ago she stopped paying her car bill. She has a job, but she skips alot or always finds a way not to go. So anyways they warn her, then take the car away about 2 weeks ago. Well I have been studying for the MCATs, probably one of the biggest tests so far in my life because it determines whether I get into med school. Seems like I have been studying this test for about a good 8-9 months. I have it THIS SATURDAY! I am already 26 so I dont have time to fail and retake because its only given twice a year. So this test is very important. So we agreed about 3 months ago to take a break which never happened. Then finally about a month ago, she agreed to give me my space so that I can concentrate on this test. Well since her car got taken away, she'll call me at late hrs of the night wanting me to pick her up or take her somewhere. Well not only do I need to study, I also have a full time job 8-5. So its hard waking up at 6:30 a.m going to work till 5 then studying from 5:30 to 11:00 to wake up and do it all over again EVERYDAY! Well this past weekend I picked up her dog late friday night. Then dropped it off, then picked it up on saturday, lent her my car sat night. Then picked her up on sunday to hang out, then take her back, lend her my car all monday etc...Basically I am on call from the minute I get off work. Its a PAIN IN THE *** and all I am asking for is a little time alone so that I can really focus on this test. I know that she doesn't have a car, but she has other friends she can ask for help sometimes. Then on sunday night (MCATs this saturday) she calls me at 1:00am to go pick her up because she is having a panic attack about not having a car. Of course I go pick her up because if not, I am the "coldest person in the world". Yesterday night she calls me to lend her my car and I say no. We get in a fight, then she calls me at about 12:00 am complaining about, get this, her ex-boyfriend of like 4 yrs ago (they are friends supposibly) because he left his dog at her hose and it pissed on the sheets. So she wants me to pick her up. So she wants me to pick her up so that she can stay at my house and she can complain about him TO ME. I dont have time for that right now! I dont feel like listening to her complaining about your ex in the middle of the night, when I've got my own worries. I have 3 more days till this exam and it seems like she is more needy than ever. So I tell her no, she calls me back and tells me how stupid I am for having to take this test for the third time. Throws some really low blows. Saids that she doesn't need me, that I am cold and that its not her fault that she is needy the week before my exam. "I dont have a car, what do expect me to do." says stuff like that. Says that I am stupid and not to blame her when I fail the exam on saturday, "honey, your stupidity is only to blame." Saids that everyone knows I am going to fail, but they just dont want to say the truth. Basically I'm too stupid to be a doctor. She left that on me answer machine. Saids that I am mean and that ITS MY FAULT (which it is)for not passing it the first time, that we wouldn't be arguing about doing her favors if i'd passed it the first time. If the test was SO EASY, everyone would be in medical school!!!! I mean you need to get a score in the top 85% of test takers throughout THE NATION to be considered a competative applicant! And you know what, I feel like I am more ready for this test than ever. I just dont tell her that. I actually have been telling her that I am not ready so that she can give me this last week to myself. Truth is I am going to ace the thing. Yet I do still feel like I am going through alot of stress and she is just doubling it by arguing with me and I constantly haveing to stop studying to do something for her. Look, she is a GREAT woman, but when combined with me, we bring out the WORST in each other. sorry for the long post, and for all of you who read it till the end, thanks for your patience. Any advice? I starting to think this woman is unstable and she is not in love with me.

[RayKay]

Look, she is a GREAT woman, but when combined with me, we bring out the WORST in each other. sorry for the long post, and for all of you who read it till the end, thanks for your patience. Any advice? I starting to think this woman is unstable and she is not in love with me.

 

Um short and sweet...WHY are you with her? Honestly?

 

She does not sound in any way good for you, or you for her. It does not even sound like she likes or respects you all that much, never mind LOVE you. It sounds like you don't even like HER very much. Well, teh "we basically hate each other" gave it away too.

 

She puts you down, is selfish, and has a lack of understanding. She is also insulting to you, expects you to do everything for her, and is clearly unsupportive.

 

Is this what you truly believe relationships are? Where is the friendship, partnership, the love?

[Davidsan]

ok u might just want to disconect ure phone for a few days unless shes stoped callin u can try and work it out after ure exam

[PrincessLinzay]

I'm with RayKay on this one.

 

Why would you want to be with someone who is so blatantly emotionally abusive?

 

When you're in a relationship, that person is supposed to be supportive of the others hopes and dreams. It sounds to me like she relishes keeping you down so she doesn't have to face her own failures.

 

It's not her fault she's being needy right now? Um.....you aren't the one who stopped paying your car note. She is responsible for her situation and as such, should not put the burden on your shoulders. That's the LAST thing you need right now.

 

She doesn't sound so great to me. I think you would be better off alone than with someone who mistreats you in this abhorrent manner.

 

Just my thoughts! Hang in there, and good luck on your test! I for one think this one is the passer!

[sundaymorning]

thanks people. Advice helps! She just showed up to my work and said that she needs a ride home. That a cab drop her off. I cant just up and leave work, so I tell her that I'll give her money for the cab ride home. She saids no thanks and thanks for your help in a sarcastic way. Then leaves in the cab. Why would she tell the cab to take her to my work and then tell the cabbie to wait, then ask me to take her home? While the cab is outside? What the hell? Plus my work is like 5 minutes from her place. Why would she stop at my work needing a ride home when in the end she took the cab home. See I dont get her actions! Its like she had enough money or that extra 3-4 dollars to get home but pretended like she was stuck. Then when I told her that I cant just leave work and that I'll give her money, she gets upset and saids thanks for nothing I'll just take the cab home???????????? Doesn't make sense. She wanted to wait outside my work until I got off so that I can take her home. Why? When in the end she had enough money to get home. Also why would she tell the cab to stop at my work when her house is about 2 miles down the street. This is freaking me out!

[RayKay]

Hmmm....she sounds odd, or manipulative...or something.

 

Who knows.

 

I still say this is not a healthy relationship, since there seems to be an awful lot of resentment on both sides, and way more stress than there ought to be in a relationship.

[birdgirl]

She sounds sick. Seriously.

 

She sounds like she wants you to fail the test. That whole cab thing? Ridiculous.

 

Make her go away. You will be all the better for it. You'll meet someone sweet and kind in medical school and wonder why you ever wasted your time with this girl. The longer you stay with this woman, the more you'll feel damaged by the time you get out.

 

Good luck...