Learning to love yourself

[sabena]

Hello, After just submitting one topic and reading a couple of others a lot of advice given seems to revolve about loving yourself before others can love you.

 

How do you love yourself? I think i have a particularly low self esteem out of work, in work I am am to put on a mask almost and be super confident and knowledgeable but outside, its almost as if I am frightened to be alone with myself in case I crumble and I hate that feeling because I think it is stopping me from enjoying life and enjoying being with people.

 

So how do you start to learn to love yourself?...Please help, I really want to get myself out of this low boring mind that I have.

[charmed]

This is what I was getting at !!

I myself am a total idiot - I am always insecure about myself, and it causes me problems with girls.

 

There are some good books out there - I am looking at getting one or two of them.

 

"Dealing with Jealousy and Posessiveness"

It may sound a bit harsh, but it is what is needed ! You have to be comfortable with yourself. THis is how I look at it.

 

You have what you have as a person - looks, personality etc...You can not change this, and if you feel that any partner you have will feel about you the way you feel about you, then naturally you will feel scared that your partner is going to leave or cheat on you !! Also, your partner will pick up on this, and will probably not like it.

 

 

amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/search-handle-url/index=books-uk&field-author=Hauck%2C%20Paul/202-1764874-3125447

 

 

Hope this helps !!

 

Al.

[tobigahart]

Trust me, learning to love yourself will be the greatest turning point in your life. Ultimately you have to really know yourself before you love yourself (how can you love someone you don't know?!?!). You have to know your strengths and your weaknesses. Me? I have a killer brain that can do anything but I'm damn lazy and don't study. Who cares, thats me I'm very veeeeery shy, but one of the nicest people I know. Look for what you value in a person in yourself!

Do you value care and generosity in a person? Well if you do then look at yourself, are you caring and generous? If not then damn! hop to it do some givin and some lovin! Become the type of person you love and you will ultimately love yourself

 

Easy as pie!

 

I found this out at age 20, only 1.5 years ago but ever since my life has been all the better

[DealingWithIt]

Why do think you have low self esteem? Every one has different issues when it comes to that subject from weight problems to having acne to just being a shy person.

 

Accept yourself as you are...faults and all and try not to criticize yourself as much. I know its hard.

 

As for me, I was a chubby kid growing up and I got teased a lot by the kids in school. Now that I'm grown up and not fat anymore...I still have that memory in my mind. Sometimes I think I need to lose more weight just to please other people but I learned how to accept myself.

[reinvented21]

Hello Sabena,

 

I must say, learning to love youreself can be quite a rewarding process. Low self esteem seems to be in epidemic proportions. That being said there are ways to change. Remember though, change is never quick and easy. However, if you are ready to take the plunge to improve youre overall sense of well being, here is "some" advice. First of all i suggest doing some volunteer work. Volunteer work is an excellent way to prove to yourself that others need you. This within itself enhances youre self image. When you connect with others through volunteer work youre interest in life becomes greater and you will feel a natural high. Automatically, you will feel better because you are able to share youre mind, heart, and talents with others. Another way to raise youre self confidence would be to check youre integrity. Do you keep promises? Are you completely honest with youreself and others. If not, then it is time to embrace honesty with open arms. How's youre posture? Do you walk with youre head down? IF you have poor posture, i would like for you to try something. Try walking with youre head up. Walk with youre back straight. Basically force youreself to walk with confidence. When you do this, you will instantly feel better and probably less stressed. I also suggest that you do something that may seem unconventional to you. Make a list of possitive affirmations. Read this list everyday. Tell youreself how intellegent and wonderful you are. Tell yourself that its okay to make mistakes in life. Tell youreself that you make a difference in the world. IF you do this long enough, guess what will happen? You will start to believe it! There is one other important thing that i want to note. I think its great that you recognize that you have low self esteem. But the next question you may want to ask yourself is why? Think about youre family life. Do you have good friendships that instill positivity instead of negativity. Another thing to remember is that you shouldnt be ashamed to get help if necessary. A therapist can be invaluable to helping you work through any problems that you may be having. I hope this helps. I hope that you can one day recognize youre true potential.

Create a great day!!!!!

[sabena]

hello,

 

thanks for your advice and it truly was a pleasure to read..i don't know whether i have the time for volunteer work but the other stuff i am going to try and actually i started today...i dont keep promises and it truly made me look on myself and think hard about the things that i do. Hopefully in a little while i will like this person in the mirror!

[dextro]

This is maybe true... love yourself before others...

 

but some people just can't... sometimes you just have to live with it.

 

People try to change yourself, for good/worse like they know shit about this !!

 

peace