Help!!

[allstar18]

Ok me and my girlfriend have been dating for a while now. We are both kinda shy and everything also. But she feels like we are just friends right now and it doesn't feel like we are going out. She wants to fix that and didn't break up with me. How can I make her feel like I really care about her and that we are going out and we are more than just friends. I am kinda shy and she is my first girlfriend so I don't know really what to do but I like her so much and I don't want to ruin this.

[Aueft]

I had this exact problem with one girl I went out with. TELL HER that you are more than just friends. Say "Hey, I want you to know that -we are going out-, I know you feel like we're just friends, but I want you to know that I feel like it's more then that." Make sure it's clear that you care about her. Don't beat around the bush and Pu**yfoot around with little games and stuff. Just have a heart to heart with her. Plus, this may help your relationship. Now, I'm not a shy person, so I don't know if that's going to be hard for you, but I'd really suggest you try.

[DropToZero]

Umm...I think the obvious step is to make it more physical....besides 'words' showing affection, the best way to show affection is through actions. So...if you haven't already ...kiss her. If you have no clue what you're doing, who cares, she doesn't seem to either if you're both afraid. Rent a movie, or heck, just watch TV on a couch, sit her down next to you....or cuddle. Then when you two look at one another, or you can easily stroke her hair...move in slowly and she should too. It's just a reaction if you both feel the same, you should kiss...stop worrying so much and as Nike says...Just Do It.

[allstar18]

everytime I try to make a move I starting thinking to much and can't do it. I don't know she's shy to though. I don't know how to quit thinking about it and just do it. I can talk to her easily and it helps out but when ever I try to make a move I freeze up.

[liquidsilk]

i am 100% with allstar. words are cheap man. kiss her. actions speak more than words.. youve probably heard that a lot.. but think about it, its really true. i know how the shy thing goes... i really was.. well, still kind of am. but let the shyness go for 3 seconds and kiss her... and DONT THINK. when you kiss.. kiss, if youre thinking about something else, shell know. but after the first one, the shyness usually does disperse. oh yeah.. and have fun, dont stress

[ShySoul]

Heart to heart talk. Say how much you like her and that your hoping this could be officially more. Your getting nervous because you are afraid of what will happen after you say it. But you should let that take care of itself. Right now I'm guessing these feelings are eating you up, you want to just say them and sceam them out, but you keep freezing. I've been there, only just got the words out to someone. Try to live in the moment. When you are with her, go with your heart, go with what you are feeling. Say what comes to mind, say whats really in your heart. If its from the heart, it won't ruin anything. And you'll feel better and more confident just saying it. Plus, shes shy too. So she is probably feeling everything you are feeling right now. She should respond well, you know she likes you and wants the same thing you do. One of you just needs to get it out and make it offical.

 

I don't know her, but if she is shy as well then a kiss out of the blue might be overwhelming or cause her to panic. So I'd lead into a kiss with something sweet, heartfelt, romantic. Tell he how you feel, how much you like her, and how you want her to be your girlfriend. It should touch her heart. Then with all that out, you'll be less nervous and a kiss will come much easier. Plus it gets to be the icing on the cake, sealing the deal if you will.

[allstar18]

Yeah that helps. I can talk to her but not always say what I want to. Her just saying she felt like we were just friends while we are going out made me feel weird. Yeah I really like her and she likes me to because she would of just broke up with me already if she didn't. Yeah I think I am just gunna do what my heart says and tell her and get it all of my chest and it will make it so much easyer. If I can communicate with her and that it will only make it easyer. I just get nervous when I think about making a move. I just think about what she will do or say and all that but she probably is thinking the same thing.

[DropToZero]

There aren't many other ways man....the physical aspect of a relationship is to SHOW one another how you feel. You don't need to go out and buy her things in order to prove it to her, but you could show her by listening I guess...remembering things....that always works for me. Other than that, you're sitting here questioning what we're telling you and I don't know why, you need to stop worrying about it and go do it. You said yourself she's not breaking up with you because she wants to fix it....I'd be glad you got a second chance. I got completely dropped because I was afraid to make any moves on the first girl I ever dated...so take it from me...stop waiting.

[allstar18]

Yeah I know I was thinking the same thing. I thought she was gunna break up with me and I felt kinda said but then she said she wanted to fix it. I really want to show her that I care because I really like her and I am glad to have a second chance. I should quit being shy because once I make the first move I will feel fine and won't have to worry about it. I just always think about what she will say or do and she is probably thinking about the same thing

[smallworld]

Hi Allstar, I'm going to combine the best of the above advice and say tell her how you feel, but show her in small affectionate ways every day what she means to you. When you take her out, give her hello/goodbye hugs, open doors for her, pull chairs for her, and try to hold her hand or put your arm around her when you're walking. Talk and listen attentively to what she has to say about anything and everything. (For some odd reason girls find guys who are good listeners sexy!) And when you're ready, a soft and gentle first kiss isn't a bad way to show her how much you like her either.

 

Make her feel like the most beautiful girl in the world and everything should fall into place. It's these small daily romantic gestures that differentiate you from being just another guy friend. Viva la difference!

[allstar18]

yeah I tryed to talk to her about it and she barely even said anything so I don't know what to do anymore.

[smallworld]

Kudos Allstar! It takes a lot of courage to tell a girl how you really feel about her. As long as she didn't run away screaming, don't worry about her reaction. She's shy too and most likely was overwhelmed by all the sweet things you said. Give her a few days to digest it all. I'm sure she'll eventually come around and have a few sweet things to say to you too.

[allstar18]

Also she said she wants to be closer and that is not only makeing moves and that. She said it's being really comfurtable around each other. How do we become more comfurtable around each other and that and make it easyer to talk. And she asked me why I am mad about it and why I think it's a bad thing. So I don't know she said she wants to fix it and we don't really know how to. So how would we become more comfurtable around each other. She also said she doesn't care if I make moves on her or w/e because im her boyfriend but she says that we fell like friends so I don't know how to change that. so confused....

[smallworld]

Good question. Getting comfortable is a matter of having fun, cuddling, and getting to know one another without the pressure of sexual contact (like making out). When the time is right to make a move you'll know, so don't worry about it. My guess is if you respect her need to take things slowly, she'll inevitably pounce on you first!

[allstar18]

We have been going out for like 5 months but I guess we just don't hang out that much because we are both been kinda busy this summer but when we are together its fun. We know each other good but I guess she doesn't feel that comfurtable around me. I guess we have to hang out more. Say we go to the movies or the mall or soemthing like that or where ever how do I make her feel comfurtable around me. I just want us to both quit being shy and everything. She asked why I thought it was a bad thing so I guess she still likes me and wants us to go out but she said she wants to fix it.

[smallworld]

Just focus on spending more time with her and talking about anything. When you go to the movies, ask her about what movies she's liked, hated, etc. When you're at the mall, shop around together and make random comments about what strange people and things you see. Go by the jewelry store and try to guess what ring she'd like. Go to the toy store and try to figure out which stuffed animal catches her eye and what her favorite games/toys used to be. Go to the book store and find out what she likes to read and point out books you've enjoyed. Go to the pet store and find out whether she's a cat, dog, bird, ferret, or fish lover, and what pets she had growing up. Get the idea?

 

By the way if this girl has half a brain, she'll be reciprocating and wanting to know your answers to the same questions. The point is to talk, talk, talk and find out as much as you can about one another. Give her that kind of attention and she'll be the happiest girl in the world.

[allstar18]

Yeah I see what you mean just be open and talk about anything and give her some attention but not to much. Also be able to say whatevers on my mind to her. Let me know if I am right or wrong here.

[smallworld]

Yeah I see what you mean just be open and talk about anything and give her some attention but not to much. Also be able to say whatevers on my mind to her. Let me know if I am right or wrong here.

 

Yes!!! You're right!!!

[allstar18]

awesome thanks for the help I will post again if I need some more help