this is so weird...

[lauriecat]

alright this is a weird one...

i've been with my boyfriend for 4 months now, and everything has gone fairly well. we both care about eachother and love being together.

 

but lately ive been having these weird dreams that i cant stand him. in my dreams ill not even want him to touch me or nething. usually ill wake up from 1 of these dreams and think "yeah right" and just forget it, but for some reason the one i had last night stayed with me. i dreamt that, although we were going out, i suddenly had no feelings whatsoever for him and didnt want him hanging all over me and so on.

 

now, i know i care about my boyfriend, but today i couldnt get the dream out of my head. i felt like i couldnt separate my dreams from real life. i was trying to distance myself from my boyfriend all day, didnt really want him hugging me, and i actually felt as if i had no emotional attatchment to him whatsoever. this is so weird bc i know that deep down i truly care for him, but i just cant push the feeling i had in my dream out of my head. i was still talking and joking with him like normal, but i wasnt kissing him or hugging him or even going near him too much. id let him hug me but i wouldnt hug back and then id walk away. i have noo clue why i felt that way, or was acting like that. the whole time in the back of my head i was thinking "what are you doing, you like this guy so much!" i knew that in reality i cared for him, but my feelings were being masked by my feelings that i had in my dream.

 

it wasnt until tonight when he started to not feel good that i finally snapped out of it. suddenly i wanted nothing more in the world than for him to feel better, and was offering to go out of my way to get him medicine and stuff, and kissing him and holding him again.

 

now i know i care about him so much.... so why did this happen? its so weird.

[Workitout]

Hmm.. that is a bit odd. My guess is that the dream is a subconscious representation of your feelings. Most likely, you are probably having the dream and this reaction because you just can't believe things are working so well. This makes you feel vulnerable perhaps, hence the feeling of wanting to be away? and the emotional detachment is a defense mechanism to avoid getting in too deep and feeling that it is a risk. This is all deep done though, realize, hidden away from the view of your conscious mind. Maybe if you sit down and really think about how you feel stuff will start to come up. Other than that, my only other guess is that maybe you don't really like him subconsciously, but that doesnt make any sense unless you really don't know how you feel, and you seem to. Anyhow, my 2 pennies.