the Drama continues...how many posts till i figure this out?

[Sally7829]

See some of my last posts... the relationship with my [ex]boyfriend continues... i don't know why i let it. he's like a drug. i feel like the only times i'm truly happy is when we are together. all the rest of the time, i'm off my wits ends. i finally decided to start seeing some other people - have been on a few dates. each one only reinforces how much i want to be with my ex. i told him i went out on some dates, and that really upset him (thank god - would be more worried if it didn't!) but he didn't confess to doing the same. While all this is happening, we're still sleeping together. ugh.

 

well, then tonight:

 

I go out with friends. We aren't in a real partying mood, so go home about 11:30. Immediately thereafter, I get a phone call from a guy I work with, who says, "I think you should come to Champps" in a very ominous tone of voice (not like, come have fun, more like, come here b/c something very bad is happening). So I go, and why did he want me to come? Um, to see "ex" out with some other girl. We end up getting into this big fight (go figure... considering I just slept with him LAST NIGHT). Somehow it didn't occur to me that I'd been out with someone else tonight; I was more pissed that he was... and that he was leaving with her. I want to crawl into a black hole and never wake up. Somehow his "but you said you're seeing other people!" comment didn't do it for me. In my really mature, together way, I then said, "I am going to tell her what you were doing with ME this very morning"... not so good when his response is, "I'll just deny it." wow. Yeah, me too: deny this night ever happened! THEN, we get into some car chase b/c he speeds off, and me, being an idiot follow him. This is SO not me - no idea what I'm doing, what he's doing. I just wanted to know if he was taking her home. I'll never know; he managed to lose me (bmw's outrun mazdas, go figure).

 

Worst part of all of it is now I have no chance of falling asleep b/c all I can think about is: is he with her?!?!

 

To make matters worse, this is the girl who's car was parked out front of his house in one of my previous posts - she is not his ex; apparently she's a "new" love interest. sick.

 

I HATE BEING SINGLE. i need drugs...

[OceanEyes]

I think you have quite possibly redefined the definition of "unhealthy". You're in a really bad situation right now, and I see the potential for non-stop headaches - and heartache - if you don't find some way to cut this dude from your life altogether. I know, easier said than done.

 

I'm sorry to say, but if this guy is seeing other people, then you should accept the fact that it's over. Do you really and honestly think, that if he wanted to make things work with you, that he'd be seen out in public on dates with other women? If he wanted to be with you, he would be. He already knows that he can but is choosing not to be.

 

Sex with the ex is a very bad idea in your case. It's keeping you from moving on with your life, and I think you know that. Why keep playing this game, inflicting more pain? Do yourself a big favour: go buy yourself something really nice, then spend a whole weekend out with your girlfriends partying where YOU KNOW he's not going to be. Cry on their shoulders. Do what it takes, but don't call him. He's moving on (obviously), and I think the time has come for you to as well.

[DN]

I agree with OceanEyes. Having sex with him is clouding the issue for both of you. Go strict no contact.

 

The friend from work didn't do you a favour in getting you to go to the bar either - that was maybe well meant but was like setting a match to gasoline. I don't know how much you were drinking, but chasing him in your car was dangerous, and you need to make sure you don't get into that situation again.

[Shadows Light]

You have got to get him OUT of your life and OUT of your mind. NC means NO CONTACT sex included... especially if you are going to go off like this seeing him w/ someone.

 

I know a guy who just told me that from time to time he knocks on his EX's door for SEX...and he gets it. Just because he can. And its like a little ZING for him because he can "F###" her anytime he wants. How sick is that?

 

Then I know another guy whose in a relationship with one woman...but he's still getting it from his ex...when ever he can. Because he can. And I'll bet my last shilling No. 1 doesn't know about No. 2.

 

I'm just perplexed by this...and why they tell me this stuff is beyond me... because there's nothing heppening here..thats for sure.

 

But as a woman... you hear this stuff and it makes your "BLOOD BOIL" and wanted to lash out at everything with testicles. LOL.

 

You've gotta move on. He's an "X"... you have feelings for him and the only way he's recipricated is in physically using you for bed-sport.

 

Love is more than bed-sport.

 

Yes... being SINGLE SUCKS... and one does tend to think that drugs and numbing would help. It doesn't.

 

Put up the NC rule..and that means.. no calls, no email.. no face to face...and absolutley no comfort sex.

[saltwatergirl]

Gotta agree with all of this. You really must stop having sex with your EX. I know, you dont wannnnna......but this man has you chasing him down the street and leaving your house running up into bars screamin. Come on now. You dont want to make a fool of yourself any longer.

 

PS Shadows: It might not be all that "sick"....could be a case of mutual using and gratification.

 

Salt

[RandomAdvisor]

I remember your other posts....

 

Just NC him and be done with it, painful as it may be. And NC means no contact of any kind. Let him live his life, and you live yours.