Loneliness

[joao]

Hi, this is my first posting and I'm not sure if this is the right place for me. I'm lonely, I think about women a lot but I've never had a relationship. I feel tormented by my loneliness, I don't have any friends, I get depressed a lot because I feel lonely. I've started to see a new therapist, I don't know if I'll get anywhere. It is really hard for me to meet people, I've tried a few things lately but they haven't worked so far: a singles bike ride, a cooking class, and a language class. Somone on another forum told me before that if I keep on trying eventually I'll meet someone but it doesn't seem like it every will. Being lonely makes me depressed. Does anyone have any suggestions on what I can do? Thank you.

[Kasers41901]

Think positive, everything happens for a reason, wether its good or bad, we all have humps that we need to overcome, but once we do, it just makes us stronger, and everything seems to look alot brighter Keep Your Head Up

[CrazyKing]

Hey, it ain't that hard - I was feeling lonely too a few months ago, I even started to cut myself, that was so hard...

 

I managed to get over it - now I love going to the crowds like in festivals & concerts - it's so great to hang out like that... I was against any kind of one-night relationships, heh, but I've changed so much, It's such fun if you don't have a tent to sleep (just a joke)

 

You have to find something that you REALLY LOVE TO DO, forget about your loneliness!!!

[joao]

Hey, it ain't that hard - I was feeling lonely too a few months ago, I even started to cut myself, that was so hard...

 

I managed to get over it - now I love going to the crowds like in festivals & concerts - it's so great to hang out like that... I was against any kind of one-night relationships, heh, but I've changed so much, It's such fun if you don't have a tent to sleep (just a joke)

 

You have to find something that you REALLY LOVE TO DO, forget about your loneliness!!!

 

I do like doing a variety of things. I just don't meet people. And sometimes I go to events like festivals (though not this year yet) but I don't meet people there either. It seems like it's different for most people. I feel like I'm different than most people.

[lifeiscash]

Your choosing to be the way you are, its a train of thought. You need to train yourself to think differently and percieve things different. What you think determines your behaviour.. and your behaviour is brought through by your actions.. with that said change your thought and then the rest will follow. You obviously have low self esteem, start talking yourself up.. think positive and become your own best friend. Once you start accepting and liking yourself and having that positive influence and personality then people will gravitate towards you. If you continiously put yourself down and think negative of yourself then why would people want to be around that?? Your pushing them away without even realizing it.

 

Think positive, everything happens for a reason

 

Indeed think postivie, but NOTHING happens for a reason. We determine what happens to us.. this is the reasoning. You just have to make the best of each situation presented and learn way to deal with your current dillema.

[joao]

lifeiscash: Maybe you're right. I think right now I'm working on "being my best friend". That is a hard thing to do. I'm looking for a new apartment that will be nicer and will try to make myself a "home".

[smiles]

maybe you should also dig deeper into the problems. like, you say that you have trouble meeting people but seek out why that is. do you have trouble connecting/holding conversation/finding similarities? then from those answers you can try to work on improving those.

 

good luck.