Why do I feel so bad?

[onemadpilgrim]

Please bare with me I'll try to be brief as pos. This is the first time that I have posted on a message board. I am 36 yrs old, concider myself to be of saine mind or so I thought? My partner is 17 (18 in Nov). I had Known her since she was 9, a friend of the family. I was married for 11 yrs, and have 3 wonderful children. As my partner grew up, she became our babysitter now and again. She started to grow up fast as teenagers usualy do. She could not talk to her parents, and very often my ex wife did not want to know, so I would take the time to sit down and listen and then try and relay things to her parents. As time went by, we treated her like a daughter. My marriage was to say the least being held together for the sake of our children. So many a time when X babysat, she would witness many a heated argument. She would very often sit down and say you have sorted my problems, talk to me and see if I can help you. Anyway my ex and I split last January after being toether 14 yrs, it literaly was the worst day of my life, seeing the state I left my children in.

I went to live with a friend. In the meantime X fell out with her parents and went to live with her sister. Her sister phoned me and asked if I would like to stay with her and her partner as it would ease my financial burden and help with their rent. Consaquently X and I would spend time together talking, going for walks etc. one night out of the blue and feeling really down I blurted out I love you..........she replied I love you too....

we started dating, and last summer got a place of our own and were very happy. Now we have a beautiful 4 month old baby girl. My problem is, that at least once a day I am questioning myself over how things have happened and what other people think. My parents have accepted us and are happy for us as is my brother and her sister. Her parents hate me, not because of the age gap, but because we were very close friends and they feel betraid. Even my children are happy with us. In some way I feel dirty, I have seen my GP and have been prescribed antidepressents.

I would be glad to hear your views how ever frank............

[DN]

Whatever the right and wrongs of the situation and whatever people might think - you now have a partner and a baby to consider. So the time is past to wonder if you did the right thing or not. What you must do now is to make sure you give her, the baby and your other children the best life you can - and that means getting help for the depression, stop feeling guilty, because that won't help anybody now, and making sure that you make the absolute best of things.

[suprema99]

The only thing I can see wrong with your situation, is that this girl your with probably can't make an accurate decision about you, at her age. She grew up with you, sinse the age of 9, and is probably all that she really knows. That's why aged gap relationships are so taboo, it seems. It's the experience involved.