Im 13 yrs old should I go all the way or at least give head?

[morethanyouthink]

ok so im 13, female, virgin and only kissed/made out w/ 1 guy never had a bf

 

so im going to florence (the coast) w/ my friend for a WEEK at the end of august

 

im really happy because the guy i like lives there and my friend and i have talked to him and we're gonna hang out like the whole time

 

the thing is he's heard that i like him and he will prolly do sumthing about it

 

hes 1 /12 older (its a big deal when ur in school) and has a bunch of condom wrappers on his wall (for previous times) he's bi and a total stoner/druggie (i dont care bout that i actually kind of like it)

 

i met him a few weeks ago @ the COUNTRY (not county) fair thats when my friend met him 2

 

so im going there and i and am pretty sure that sumkthing will happen w/ us cuz like when i met him he was like kinda flirting w/ me he had smoked and eatin shrooms then tho

 

so newayz if nething could happen between us should i give him head or go all the way or not at all??? i want to know what u think

 

Oh and i also wouldnt really want to be in a bf/gf thing w/ him cuz he lives like 45 mins away (big deal when you cant drive) i would rather be like friends w/ benefits , and my mom cant know if nething happens or if we were going out but ive never gone out/ fwb with neone so what do you think i should do???

[RayKay]

WHY exactly would you want to risk your health with someone who KEEPS CONDOM WRAPPERS ON HIS WALL so has been exposed to who-knows-what, and treats girls like trophies on his wall. And does drugs of who knows what kind so exposes you to numerous other possible diseases.

 

No, you should not give him head, nor should you "go all the way". Do you really WANT to be "used" like that? Have respect for YOURSELF. I guarantee in 5, 10 years if you did this, you would not look back on it with fond memories.

 

You are 13, you have your ENTIRE life ahead of you. Sex, and your body, are not "toys" to throw around to whomever will have it. I am not saying wait until marriage, but I am saying wait until you are truly ready and realize that sex is more serious then just "playtime".

 

Seriously, if you were to get pregnant right now, would you be able to accept the consequences of that emotionally and physically? If you were to get HIV, Herpes, HPV, or anyother gamut that can leave you sick, infertile or dead, can you accept that?

 

Have some respect for yourself, and don't go down that road so casually. You don't even really KNOW the guy.

[jna35]

RayKay took the words right out of my mouth- well said!!!

[catgirl82]

do not hook up with this guy, it really sounds like he'd be using you and youre really putting yourself in danger. the whole condom wrappers thing along with the drugs thing- stay away from that, please. i think if you were older you'd see how obvious this one is

[morethanyouthink]

the thing is thats totally normal where i live like ive been called a prude (thats not why im doing this) and yes thank you very much i do know that sex is not just a "playtime" i may not like myself but i do like him even if i barely know him and ive done drugs too so...

[morethanyouthink]

ok so id prolly be too scared to sleep w/ him but do you really think that head is really that bad?

[RayKay]

the thing is thats totally normal where i live like ive been called a prude (thats not why im doing this) and yes thank you very much i do know that sex is not just a "playtime" i may not like myself but i do like him even if i barely know him and ive done drugs too so...

 

Just because it is "totally normal" where you live does not mean you need to take part. Honestly, people who call a 13 year old a prude are TERRIBLY immature themselves. Sex does not make one an adult. And if you don't like yourself, all the more reason NOT to have sex now. And you may say you don't think it is playtime, but your attitude and comments suggest otherwise.

 

Many people REGRET having sex too early. I have never met one who regrets having WAITED.

 

I'll say this too, you might not want a relationship NOW, but one day you will meet someone wonderful whom you want to have a relationship with. This would not be an attractive quality. Nor would he be fond of intimacy with someone with several communicable diseases.

 

Sex does not make someone like you more.

 

 

AND head is just as likely to give you a disease. Do you want Herpes in your throat?

[morethanyouthink]

what if hes clean so i cant get an std and i wouldnt want to date sum1 l8er who would care about sum fwb thing that happened right after 7th grade

[jna35]

First of all, you are only 13; You are NOT a prude for not having sex!!! Don't have sex with him just because you like him. He's on drugs for Pete sake!! Do you have any idea how dangerous that is? You may not like yourself much, which is quite evident from what you have said, but at least respect yourself enough to make a responsible decision. If you don't respect yourself, no one else will. You are looking at years of regret if you go through with this and lots of emotional damage. I think you should talk to your mom. I know if my daugher, (yes, I have one) was considering this, I would want to discuss it with her. We have an open relationship though based on trust. If you can't talk to her find another adult to offer you some guidance. Look, I am not passing judgement on you. I know that 13 is a hard age and peer pressure can be hard to deal with, but this is a life altering decision with very serious ramifications. PLEASE think long and hard because once you do it there's no going back!

[jna35]

P.S. Cleaniness doesn't mean you won't get an STD. You not knowing that, also shows you are NOT ready to do this!

[RayKay]

what if hes clean so i cant get an std and i wouldnt want to date sum1 l8er who would care about sum fwb thing that happened right after 7th grade

 

Can he show you the official results from the doctor showing he has been tested for the numerous diseases out there and is clean?

 

What about pregnancy?

 

And trust me, you might say that now, but a lot of people will not care directly about THAT, but they will care about how much lack of respect you have for sex in general. And it is something that you most definitely will not look back on as a great thing later in your life. Wait to share yourself with someone who will respect you, and not put your health and life at risk either.

 

You are showing how NOT ready you are with these posts.

[misery12]

I agree, don't you hate when you hear guys calling girls S***s and other names? Usually it's because girls follow through on actions like this.

You are barely a teenager, this shouldn't even be on your mind, you should be enjoying your youth, and engage in adult matters, when you're an adult.

That said, I want to ask everyone something.

 

13 is clearly too young to be having sex, but when do most people usually have sex for the first time? Grade 11, 12, University?

[darkblue]

Bottom Line:

 

He has had sex before; a lot. He never stuck around with them, what makes you any different?

 

He is or has been on drugs.

 

You are only thirteen years old.

 

You run the risk of pregnancy.

 

You could get STD's.

 

You should be waiting for the right guy, not some guy pushing you into it.

 

Have respect for yourself. Don't use your body because he is willing to.

[randy]

you' re making a BIG mistake . Hopefully, . . . once the mistake is made you WILL learn from it .

 

But the way i see it . . . If your' re going to go down on this guy, at least have him do the same to you .

[jna35]

That said, I want to ask everyone something.

 

13 is clearly too young to be having sex, but when do most people usually have sex for the first time? Grade 11, 12, University?

 

I think it depends on the individual. I was 19 and married.

[jna35]

you' re making a BIG mistake . Hopefully, . . . once the mistake is made you WILL learn from it .

 

But the way i see it . . . If your' re going to go down on this guy, at least have him do the same to you .

 

Sorry, I have to respectfully disagree with you. She's much too young for that. I certainly wouldn't want to encourage her any further!

[morethanyouthink]

to jna35 i find it a little sad that u dont know that clean in this context does not me like soap and water clean but std clean also my moms 33 and i cant talk to her at all she freaks out not even about sumthin like this like she almost wont let me have a bf but she does think that we have an open relationship but we dont cuz i dont tell her nething so id say watch out cuz what you think is and open relation ship may just be a detailed show put on by ur daughter ................ may be you really do idk no offense

 

and i guess u guys do have a point like w/ std and w/e but idk like the guy that i kissed hes 3 yrs older (but hes gonna be a junior in hs) and i didnt even know his name and id met him that night and this was just a few weeks ago and hed like been like pulling me onto his lap and like wrapping his legs around me but i didnt do nething and i wasnt sure if i liked him but i did it back and i dont know why so we went to this place (we were at the country fair if u dont know what that is look it up) and my friend and the guy she liked were making out and we were like lying on the ground together and he just started like tongue kissing me i mean he didnt even kiss me closed mouth first but i didnt pull away i kissed him back i was so scared but sum weird part of me liked that and idk like i told him i had to go back to the camp and he let me go and we didnt do nething else but i just kinda wanted to kick myself for not doing nething and doing it back cuz hes really nice and he would have stopped but i was just really confused

[Dannysgirl]

You can't really think this is a good idea or you wouldn't have posted about it. You say you've been called a prude but thats not why you're doing this. I think its EXACTLY why you're doing it! That is why you asked if head was okay because you think that if you give him head that will be enough, it will get around that you did that and people won't call you a prude anymore.

 

Do you know what they will call you if you do this and these other kids find out? You'll get a LOT worse names than prude believe me!

Most of your friends and the people who say this (especially the guys) are as inexperienced as you are they just pretend not to be to seem cool and pick on you to draw attention away from themselves. Waiting to have sex is more than okay. There is no law that says you have to have sex in fact there IS a law that says you CANT have sex until you are deemed an adult.

I waited until I was 21 to have sex because I didn't want to have to deal with this classroom BS and didn't want every detail of the encounter being discussed in the lunch room. You deserve a first sexual experience with somebody who cares about you, please don't make this mistake with this guy.

 

Listen to RayKay, she knows what she's talking about.

[misery12]

Well, you ask for advice, and we're all going to give you the same guidance. DON'T do it. Either way, you'll end up doing what you want to, and there's no way we can stop you. But we can enforce reality upon you, and hopefully you see the light, and the responsible choice in this situation.

 

It seems to me that you want to be more mature.. and the best way to do that, is to BE more mature.. and the best way to do that, is to make MATURE choices, such as.. not fooling around with stoners/sex addicts.

 

Same goes for 25 year olds.. This guy doesn't seem right no matter what age.. but 13 is too young none the less. I'd still be sitting here telling you not to have sex if this guy was Straight A - GOD. You're too young.. wait for the right guy, and you'll be happy you did.

 

You can benefit from waiting..

[jna35]

Well, in response to your comment to me. I misinterpreted what you had said about "clean." It does have many definitions.

 

As for my daughter and our relationship, we are VERY close and it's not a "show."

 

You did not offend me. It would take a lot more than that!

 

I hope you will at least consider what we have to say. We do have a bit of experience.

 

Ultimately, the decision is yours. If you felt it was the right thing to do, I don't believe oyu would have posted to begin with.

 

Good luck!!

[morethanyouthink]

dannysgirl, i just want you to know that @ my school u get friends and sure u maybe called a ho but i already am just cuz how i dress ...and my friends are not pretending or lying i know that for a fact

[darkblue]

You have too much to lose and very very little to gain if you go through with this.

 

You'll have even more to lose if he does pass on any STD's.

 

Or if you end up pregnant - Explain that one to your mom.

 

If your mind was already made up, why did you post?

 

You can still do the right thing.

[RayKay]

 

It seems to me that you want to be more mature.. and the best way to do that, is to BE more mature.. and the best way to do that, is to make MATURE choices, such as.. not fooling around with stoners/sex addicts.

 

 

 

Very very well said misery!

[jna35]

You said it perfectly misery!!

[DN]

If this guy is doing drugs then it is possible that he has no common sense because his head's not straight.

 

You don't have that excuse. You are obviously fairly intelligent, even though you are stubborn and don't seem to want to listen to other people.

 

But you are certainly intelligent enough to know that he could get into serious trouble for having sex with you - you are under the age of consent and he is older than you.

 

He may not care -but you might care enough about him to not let him put himself in that sort of danger.

 

Or are you only thinking about yourself and what you want?